Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Pp sorry I didn't read the whole post LOL. One good convo I had with my daughter who sometimes says similar things... I did remind her that I clean the entire house, it's immaculate, I make great food, I remind her all the stuff that benefits from. And also I made a comparison of office jobs like her going to school. People do it but it can be so boring. Why waste your life doing something you loathe? Now, some ppl like their jobs and that's great. I like my job of being a mom and also getting to focus on my health (I love exercise). Luckily my daughter prefers home cooked meals so I will say, do you want to do all the cooking? Do you want to do the laundry and clean the entire house? Who do you think will manage your dr appts (she has special needs). So tweens can be snarky but don't take it personally. I know it's hard when they don't appreciate.

You do realize that working families do all this too?

You SAHMs, in your desire to justify your choice to not work - which is AOK btw! - make it seem like if you did work your house would be in shambles, you’d eat out every night, and no one would ever go to the doctor.

What are you teaching them by telling them the world would fall apart if both parents work?

You and your spouse are choosing to do the equivalent of three full time jobs which is A-OK btw! SAHMs and their spouses choose to do the equivalent of two. It’s not complicated and no one is staying home AT you…

I like this explanation actually. All the same work is getting done by working families and families with a SAHM.

I’ve done all of the combinations of SAHM, WOH, and WAH and the short answer to this is no, it isn’t. All of the same work isn’t being done. I took my role as SAHM very seriously with growing some of our own food, careful budget and nutrition-conscious meal planning and execution that simply isn’t reasonably possible with 2 parents working fully out of the home, with commutes. That is only one example. I could also not be nearly as involved in my kids school and activities as a full time WOH mom. Not even close.

While theoretically possible, if you are saying the “same work is being done” that means either a pretty lazy SAHM or a WOHM who doesn’t do any self care or have even 20 minutes of time for herself. Neither of which are things to aspire to.

I am one of the single moms who posted above. I work full time, more than 40 hours a week. My house is clean. My laundry is done. My kid is in several activities. I am really passionate about eating a wholesome diet and I like gardening, so I grow some of our food, and make most of our food from scratch including bread for school lunches, waffles for breakfasts, crackers, and all of our dinners. I'm going to be honest, I do not think I could possibly do more than I already do even if I stayed home, I would just have A LOT more time to prioritize my own hobbies and interests and I could do things more slowly. It's absolutely a trade off. For example, I still manage to get in 4 workouts a week, but instead of having a leisurely time going to a class at a boutique studio, I either block my lunch on a wfh day and get it done, or wake up early and do it.

How old are you? How many hours do you sleep? What drugs are you on? How old is your child, and do you have full custody? Whatever you are doing for 40 hours a week must be pretty low key because no way a normal job leaves someone with enough energy to be doing all that.
Also you come off like a smug b1tch craving external validation for how hard you work and how you have it all together in spite of being a single mom.

Who on earth wants get up to drop off their kid, work a full day, pick up the kid, go home and then spend the evening on a very full second shift with no partner to share the workload?
Making your own crackers, WTF.

You likely don’t have time for friends, which checks out because your smug, unrelateable attitude probably keeps most people away.

Anonymous wrote:Sorry but the kid has a point. I was a SAHM for 7 years when the kids were little then went back once they were in school all day. With WFH it was a no brainer. I think my kids respect me more and everything still gets done around the house.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Pp sorry I didn't read the whole post LOL. One good convo I had with my daughter who sometimes says similar things... I did remind her that I clean the entire house, it's immaculate, I make great food, I remind her all the stuff that benefits from. And also I made a comparison of office jobs like her going to school. People do it but it can be so boring. Why waste your life doing something you loathe? Now, some ppl like their jobs and that's great. I like my job of being a mom and also getting to focus on my health (I love exercise). Luckily my daughter prefers home cooked meals so I will say, do you want to do all the cooking? Do you want to do the laundry and clean the entire house? Who do you think will manage your dr appts (she has special needs). So tweens can be snarky but don't take it personally. I know it's hard when they don't appreciate.

You do realize that working families do all this too?

You SAHMs, in your desire to justify your choice to not work - which is AOK btw! - make it seem like if you did work your house would be in shambles, you’d eat out every night, and no one would ever go to the doctor.

What are you teaching them by telling them the world would fall apart if both parents work?

You and your spouse are choosing to do the equivalent of three full time jobs which is A-OK btw! SAHMs and their spouses choose to do the equivalent of two. It’s not complicated and no one is staying home AT you…

I like this explanation actually. All the same work is getting done by working families and families with a SAHM.

I’ve done all of the combinations of SAHM, WOH, and WAH and the short answer to this is no, it isn’t. All of the same work isn’t being done. I took my role as SAHM very seriously with growing some of our own food, careful budget and nutrition-conscious meal planning and execution that simply isn’t reasonably possible with 2 parents working fully out of the home, with commutes. That is only one example. I could also not be nearly as involved in my kids school and activities as a full time WOH mom. Not even close.

While theoretically possible, if you are saying the “same work is being done” that means either a pretty lazy SAHM or a WOHM who doesn’t do any self care or have even 20 minutes of time for herself. Neither of which are things to aspire to.

I am one of the single moms who posted above. I work full time, more than 40 hours a week. My house is clean. My laundry is done. My kid is in several activities. I am really passionate about eating a wholesome diet and I like gardening, so I grow some of our food, and make most of our food from scratch including bread for school lunches, waffles for breakfasts, crackers, and all of our dinners. I'm going to be honest, I do not think I could possibly do more than I already do even if I stayed home, I would just have A LOT more time to prioritize my own hobbies and interests and I could do things more slowly. It's absolutely a trade off. For example, I still manage to get in 4 workouts a week, but instead of having a leisurely time going to a class at a boutique studio, I either block my lunch on a wfh day and get it done, or wake up early and do it.

Anonymous wrote:"
I'm not even a SAHM but I 100% agree that you should just stop doing everything you do around the house so they can see the value you add to the household and how much more it is than anyone else's contribution to running it."

NOPE! There would be no house to clean and no food to cook if the other parent weren't earning money. How do you teach kids the value of money and how their effort at school relates to the life they'll one day be able to afford if you won't acknowledge the importance of money?!

Please tell me that you aren't teaching your kid to grow up believing it's okay to not be able to be self-sufficient. And I really hope you're not teaching your daughters to expect that they can exchange mopping floors and sex for a roof over their head.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Pp sorry I didn't read the whole post LOL. One good convo I had with my daughter who sometimes says similar things... I did remind her that I clean the entire house, it's immaculate, I make great food, I remind her all the stuff that benefits from. And also I made a comparison of office jobs like her going to school. People do it but it can be so boring. Why waste your life doing something you loathe? Now, some ppl like their jobs and that's great. I like my job of being a mom and also getting to focus on my health (I love exercise). Luckily my daughter prefers home cooked meals so I will say, do you want to do all the cooking? Do you want to do the laundry and clean the entire house? Who do you think will manage your dr appts (she has special needs). So tweens can be snarky but don't take it personally. I know it's hard when they don't appreciate.

You do realize that working families do all this too?

You SAHMs, in your desire to justify your choice to not work - which is AOK btw! - make it seem like if you did work your house would be in shambles, you’d eat out every night, and no one would ever go to the doctor.

What are you teaching them by telling them the world would fall apart if both parents work?

You and your spouse are choosing to do the equivalent of three full time jobs which is A-OK btw! SAHMs and their spouses choose to do the equivalent of two. It’s not complicated and no one is staying home AT you…

I like this explanation actually. All the same work is getting done by working families and families with a SAHM.

I’ve done all of the combinations of SAHM, WOH, and WAH and the short answer to this is no, it isn’t. All of the same work isn’t being done. I took my role as SAHM very seriously with growing some of our own food, careful budget and nutrition-conscious meal planning and execution that simply isn’t reasonably possible with 2 parents working fully out of the home, with commutes. That is only one example. I could also not be nearly as involved in my kids school and activities as a full time WOH mom. Not even close.

While theoretically possible, if you are saying the “same work is being done” that means either a pretty lazy SAHM or a WOHM who doesn’t do any self care or have even 20 minutes of time for herself. Neither of which are things to aspire to.

Anonymous wrote:Adding I dislike the perspective of the two parent working family as harried and exhausted and slaves to fast food. We are none of those things and both parents have worked busy jobs throughout, with the exception of a four month maternity leave for mom.

I don't working or staying at home is inherently better or worse. I do think a teen who is busting their ass to get good grades, get into college, etc might have some questions about what their parent at home is doing all day while everyone else has a clear role during the day.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I gave up my legal career when my younger child was three. He's now a junior in high school, and I have no plans to go back to work. When people ask me whether I'm bored or whatever, I just laugh and say something sarcastically dismissive like "my kids are still the most difficult clients I've ever had."

OP is bothered by snarky comments from her own children...not random strangers.

Anonymous wrote:I gave up my legal career when my younger child was three. He's now a junior in high school, and I have no plans to go back to work. When people ask me whether I'm bored or whatever, I just laugh and say something sarcastically dismissive like "my kids are still the most difficult clients I've ever had."

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:"
I'm not even a SAHM but I 100% agree that you should just stop doing everything you do around the house so they can see the value you add to the household and how much more it is than anyone else's contribution to running it."

NOPE! There would be no house to clean and no food to cook if the other parent weren't earning money. How do you teach kids the value of money and how their effort at school relates to the life they'll one day be able to afford if you won't acknowledge the importance of money?!

Please tell me that you aren't teaching your kid to grow up believing it's okay to not be able to be self-sufficient. And I really hope you're not teaching your daughters to expect that they can exchange mopping floors and sex for a roof over their head.

Question: how do you view people who make their living by mopping floors? Because many immigrants, POC, and less privileged people make their living by mopping floors. Do you think they are less valuable human beings?

Of course not. They are working for a wage, which is entirely different proposition than exchanging sex for housing.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sure, being a SAHM is exhausting; I did it for several years. But it is *nowhere* as exhausting as being the primary parent while also holding down a full time job. The "SAHM" duties don't disappear. You have more to do and less time to do it in, especially if you are someone (like me and the majority of the world) who can't afford to hire help.

That said, your kids have no right to be so disrespectful. I am sorry for that.

This is true, but is it a contest? Do we want medals?
Should we want to be martyrs?
Should this be the gold standard?