Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We never felt the need to have parent-only trips during our kids' childhoods, OP, so I guess everyone's different. We enjoyed our family vacations. Having kids never felt like a sacrifice. Oldest is in college now.

Same

+1

Mostly the same. We left them overnight here and there but usually out of necessity (attending a wedding or other event). We’ve never both (at the same time) been a plane ride away from our kids- but our oldest hasn’t graduated HS yet. We’ll have plenty of time for that in a few years. It goes by so fast.

You actually don’t know that. Seems extreme to only vacation for 16-18 years or more with children in tow.

I love my children but also go away with only my husband and girls trips too. It’s important to me to have a life outside of my children and trips like these are fun and also help me appreciate my family life.

Focusing on only your kids for decades of life and then BOOM they are gone - will be a rude awakening and a challenging transition.

+1000

But PP, you'll never reason with these people. They'll just start asking you why you bothered to have kids at all if you were going to spend one week out of 52 each year away from them.

Honestly, this question is a great litmus test for when you meet new people - ask them if they'd ever spend a weekend away without their kids. If they say no, hard pass.

IF and logistics/funds arent always the same answer. Yes, I would leave my kids for a weekend if I had 1500 extra on top of the planned vacation cost with a person, I trusted who I felt could handle my 15mo old and her severe allergies who is enrolled in OIT and could have anaphylaxis with her daily dose.
And if I left them with a nurse for that level of care, I can't imagine the cost. see logistics/funds.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My parents never took a weekend away just them. That is a newer trend among the affluent and those with young local family. We took one vacation without our kids and our younger one cried for us. Didn’t vacation without the kids for another 15 years.

Mine did. I'm 46. This isn't a "trend."

I’m 48 and I don’t know one family that took a weekend away trip without their kids from my childhood at all. This was not a thing if your parents did it was certainly an exception. It is a trend that more younger people are doing it now, but in the past, people did not have the time or the resources to take weekend away trips without their kids.

It wasn't an exception in our circle when I was a kid. Nor was bringing friends on trips with you. I understand that people live differently, but I knew dozens of families whose parents traveled without their kids. Resources weren't an issue.

“Resources weren’t an issue” is the key phrase obviously.

Of course it is. I never said it wasn't. The PP literally said no one did this. I'm saying they're incorrect. Maybe no one they know, but to assume your experience was everyone's experience is a special form of delusion.

"No one" wasn't literal. It was more like 95% of the population did not do this. We get it--you are rich. But your experience is not the norm. That was the point I was trying to make.

-Many years when we could not figure out logistics we did 1-2 night hotel staycations which were wonderful. Have a leisurely dinner, watch a show, luxury hotel but close enough that there was no stress if issue came up.
-as kids got older, we did a few 4 night trips (not every year, maybe once every 2-3 years). We always had a babysitter come who knew the kids schedule and would do all meals, drive to activities, and do dinner and bath. This made it much more manageable but was expensive so didn't do it often.
-elementary school years we would go once a year to a place with a great kids club in the Caribbean. We would often coordinate this trip with another family so all the kids knew each other. Every afternoon we would have some solo time which was great.
-We had 2 summers when kids were teens that they were both away at the same time for sleepaway camps and programs and we took advantage of that.
-Now we have one in high school and one entering college and I miss having us all together given their busy schedules.

I will also say that there was a period in our marriage with a lot of work travel when we really stopped prioritizing date nights, even short get aways, etc. and our marriage really suffered for it. Looking back it is something I would budget and plan for. It doesn't have to be a big trip but make your relationship a priority.

My parents twice went to Europe and left us with mid 70s grandparents. Both times when we were in elementary. This same set of parents, five years younger than my own grandparents were, now balks at even one weekend watching my elementary age kids. "Remember when grandpa watched us?" "He was healthy and had a lot of energy."

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My parents never took a weekend away just them. That is a newer trend among the affluent and those with young local family. We took one vacation without our kids and our younger one cried for us. Didn’t vacation without the kids for another 15 years.

Mine did. I'm 46. This isn't a "trend."

I’m 48 and I don’t know one family that took a weekend away trip without their kids from my childhood at all. This was not a thing if your parents did it was certainly an exception. It is a trend that more younger people are doing it now, but in the past, people did not have the time or the resources to take weekend away trips without their kids.

Hm, I'm 49 and my parents left us for solo trips all the time. Mostly they left us with nearby family or family friends, but they did once leave the 3 of us (ages 22, 20, and 12) alone for a two week international trip.

Same, down to the two-week international trip, except I'm two years younger than you.

I’m laughing at all these people whose parents went on multiple week international trips decades ago leaving them behind. Next, people who are grew up with a full time in-house housekeepers are going to start talking about it as though it was a normal or common thing.

It would help if you could read. Posters said no one ever not one time did this in prior generations. So multiple people posted to say, actually, that's not true. Then the responses are the classic, anecdotes don't equal data, yeah well you were rich, etc. Whatever. The point is the prior poster is wrong, some people in various generations have probably always done this. Like it or don't, but you can stop trying to dismiss the fact that the prior statement was factually incorrect.

My husband and I are first generation immigrants. Our kid is born and raise here, 13 yo. No we almost never take vacations without him. We have no immediate family nearby.

There were couple time we took trip without our kid such as when kid is in our home country for a few weeks with grandparents.

I don’t think we will be leaving our kid home alone until he s in college

OP to answer your question - No.
There will be no kid free vacations or trips away without your kids.

Afterall, that’s what you and your spouse signed up for when you both opted in to become parents.

Otherwise, you will be judged and harshly.

Stay Strong.

You hire a nanny or a babysitter, dumb*ss.