Anonymous
09/17/2022 23:42
Subject: Take them or leave them - brutally honest description of your spouse
Anonymous wrote:DH:
Good looking
Tall
Not slim but still very attractive
Funny, witty, charming
Ambitious
High earner ($500k +)
Responsible with finances
Loyal
Now the bad stuff:
Short tempered
Explosive
Mean, cut throat, goes for the jugular. Whatever weakness you have will be used against you.
Uses name calling in arguments, even with DC
Shoves
Physical violence is never good… please stay safe
Anonymous
09/14/2022 18:49
Subject: Take them or leave them - brutally honest description of your spouse
-Well educated
-Reads widely and almost everyone in my friend circle come to him for advice on a wide range of issues
-Good with money, turned his $150K salary over the years into a nice 7 digit sum
-Exceptional father. So many people from different walks of life pointed this out to me and tell me how rare that is. Never ever turned down our children when they asked for his time - to go to a park, play outside, walk, help with homework, etc. In fact, left job over this.
-Good husband, exceptionally caring. I have never ever used the washing machine or clean bathrooms. He would never let me and it seems to physically pain him to see me carry loads of laundry up and down the stairs. Makes me healthy breakfast from scratch 5x a week, though not exactly what I like.
- Good in bed
- Short tempered in the sense that he puts so much thought into things for me and kids that he finds irritating when I am not as thoughtful.
- He took a low paying job and always on the ready to quit if it interfered with family. We do not need the money as my job is quite well paying and more than enough. His salary entirely is saving.
-Reads widely and almost everyone in my friend circle come to him for advice on a wide range of issues
-Good with money, turned his $150K salary over the years into a nice 7 digit sum
-Exceptional father. So many people from different walks of life pointed this out to me and tell me how rare that is. Never ever turned down our children when they asked for his time - to go to a park, play outside, walk, help with homework, etc. In fact, left job over this.
-Good husband, exceptionally caring. I have never ever used the washing machine or clean bathrooms. He would never let me and it seems to physically pain him to see me carry loads of laundry up and down the stairs. Makes me healthy breakfast from scratch 5x a week, though not exactly what I like.
- Good in bed
- Short tempered in the sense that he puts so much thought into things for me and kids that he finds irritating when I am not as thoughtful.
- He took a low paying job and always on the ready to quit if it interfered with family. We do not need the money as my job is quite well paying and more than enough. His salary entirely is saving.
Anonymous
09/14/2022 18:31
Subject: Re:Take them or leave them - brutally honest description of your spouse
Anonymous wrote:DH is 49. We've only been married for a couple of years. My second, his first.
Pros:
Well-educated
Tall and naturally thin
Great listener who is extremely thoughtful. He gives amazing gifts and remembers little details.
Big "acts of service" guy. I never carry the groceries alone.
Great with kids
Boundless patience
Fantastic in bed
Good with hands and fixes/builds when he can
Cons:
Low earner for DC. I came into the marriage with a lot more asset-wise.
Works tons of hours
Takes his work very seriously - has a "passion job" that he's very good at but it's a bit soul-sucking
So introverted and socially awkward. So much Star Wars.
Poor self-esteem - I wish he could see himself the way I see him for a bit
Gets very quiet and shuts down. It's his defense mechanism
Take them.
Anonymous
09/14/2022 18:30
Subject: Take them or leave them - brutally honest description of your spouse
Anonymous wrote:DH:
Good looking
Tall
Not slim but still very attractive
Funny, witty, charming
Ambitious
High earner ($500k +)
Responsible with finances
Loyal
Now the bad stuff:
Short tempered
Explosive
Mean, cut throat, goes for the jugular. Whatever weakness you have will be used against you.
Uses name calling in arguments, even with DC
Shoves
Shoves? Explosive? Leave them.
Anonymous
09/14/2022 15:47
Subject: Re:Take them or leave them - brutally honest description of your spouse
DH is 49. We've only been married for a couple of years. My second, his first.
Pros:
Well-educated
Tall and naturally thin
Great listener who is extremely thoughtful. He gives amazing gifts and remembers little details.
Big "acts of service" guy. I never carry the groceries alone.
Great with kids
Boundless patience
Fantastic in bed
Good with hands and fixes/builds when he can
Cons:
Low earner for DC. I came into the marriage with a lot more asset-wise.
Works tons of hours
Takes his work very seriously - has a "passion job" that he's very good at but it's a bit soul-sucking
So introverted and socially awkward. So much Star Wars.
Poor self-esteem - I wish he could see himself the way I see him for a bit
Gets very quiet and shuts down. It's his defense mechanism
Pros:
Well-educated
Tall and naturally thin
Great listener who is extremely thoughtful. He gives amazing gifts and remembers little details.
Big "acts of service" guy. I never carry the groceries alone.
Great with kids
Boundless patience
Fantastic in bed
Good with hands and fixes/builds when he can
Cons:
Low earner for DC. I came into the marriage with a lot more asset-wise.
Works tons of hours
Takes his work very seriously - has a "passion job" that he's very good at but it's a bit soul-sucking
So introverted and socially awkward. So much Star Wars.
Poor self-esteem - I wish he could see himself the way I see him for a bit
Gets very quiet and shuts down. It's his defense mechanism
Anonymous
09/13/2022 21:23
Subject: Re:Take them or leave them - brutally honest description of your spouse
Anonymous wrote:DH:
Pros: Very handy/mechanical genius
Loves us all fiercely
Loyal and dedicated to Wife and kids
cons: Extremely emotionally immature
impossible to have a deep relationship with
The opposite of fun
Never wants to try anything new/go anywhere/do anything
Refuses to deal with any problems whatsoever and how dare I bring anything up
Refuses to deal with emotional issues he has and just gets angry if any are brought up
Unkind to anyone not "smart" enough" or quick enough to grasp what he is saying.
Rude and inconsiderate, and gets his "feelings hurt" if asked not to do something that is bothering someone else
Throws what I call "adult temper tantrums" that are quiet, covert, etc, but they are there nonetheless. It can be months of a silent treatment for example
Obnoxious
But....he loves us and would do anything for us he could physically do. Says he has nothing if he doesn't have his family. But we are all miserable. Do I stay or leave? I just feel so conflicted....
Leave him. He sounds emotionally manipulative. Anyone who can go months (MONTHS?!) giving someone the silent treatment has absolutely no right to say he has nothing without his family. Seriously, this is terrible and so not normal.
Anonymous
09/13/2022 21:07
Subject: Take them or leave them - brutally honest description of your spouse
Tall, handsome, super athletic for 40s.
Bald with shaved head.
Smart, but relatively low earner ($120), spotty employment history.
Good in bed, libido too high for me.
Good with our kids.
Super messy around the house, not an equal partner with chores and logistics.
Likes the attention he gets from other women.
Handles my overbearing parents well.
Bald with shaved head.
Smart, but relatively low earner ($120), spotty employment history.
Good in bed, libido too high for me.
Good with our kids.
Super messy around the house, not an equal partner with chores and logistics.
Likes the attention he gets from other women.
Handles my overbearing parents well.
Anonymous
09/13/2022 21:05
Subject: Take them or leave them - brutally honest description of your spouse
Anonymous wrote:My DH:
Excellent at what he does professionally, well respected
Sucks in bed. Exact same position every single time, ED + premature ejaculation
Short and overweight
Balding
Helps around the house if prompted
Low earner for DC - $120k -$140k
Not a planner
Not much common sense
ADHD
Bipolar
Paranoid
Good at cooking steak
Does the grocery shopping
A shouter
Mean when angry and often angry (bipolar)
Lowbrow taste in food/culture
Very self centered
Terrible parent (shouter and angry)
Cheated with two different people
With all the negatives, wonder how he was able to cheat?
Anonymous
09/13/2022 17:25
Subject: Take them or leave them - brutally honest description of your spouse
Good looking and fit, but pretty damn bald
High achieving but not especially high paid
Great cook, does dishes more often than not
Totally equal partner: does at least 50% of stuff around house, takes kids to dentist and doctor, never assumes his work should come first
Funny and enjoys socializing but is very quiet
Bad at making conversation / sharing feelings
Financially responsible but not especially proactive
Up for adventure but leaves all the planning to me and is otherwise very regimented day to day
Devoted dad. Kids and I are everything to him
Has never said an unkind word to me
Only interested in vanilla sex once a week
High achieving but not especially high paid
Great cook, does dishes more often than not
Totally equal partner: does at least 50% of stuff around house, takes kids to dentist and doctor, never assumes his work should come first
Funny and enjoys socializing but is very quiet
Bad at making conversation / sharing feelings
Financially responsible but not especially proactive
Up for adventure but leaves all the planning to me and is otherwise very regimented day to day
Devoted dad. Kids and I are everything to him
Has never said an unkind word to me
Only interested in vanilla sex once a week
Anonymous
09/13/2022 17:14
Subject: Re:Take them or leave them - brutally honest description of your spouse
DH:
Pros: Very handy/mechanical genius
Loves us all fiercely
Loyal and dedicated to Wife and kids
cons: Extremely emotionally immature
impossible to have a deep relationship with
The opposite of fun
Never wants to try anything new/go anywhere/do anything
Refuses to deal with any problems whatsoever and how dare I bring anything up
Refuses to deal with emotional issues he has and just gets angry if any are brought up
Unkind to anyone not "smart" enough" or quick enough to grasp what he is saying.
Rude and inconsiderate, and gets his "feelings hurt" if asked not to do something that is bothering someone else
Throws what I call "adult temper tantrums" that are quiet, covert, etc, but they are there nonetheless. It can be months of a silent treatment for example
Obnoxious
But....he loves us and would do anything for us he could physically do. Says he has nothing if he doesn't have his family. But we are all miserable. Do I stay or leave? I just feel so conflicted....
Pros: Very handy/mechanical genius
Loves us all fiercely
Loyal and dedicated to Wife and kids
cons: Extremely emotionally immature
impossible to have a deep relationship with
The opposite of fun
Never wants to try anything new/go anywhere/do anything
Refuses to deal with any problems whatsoever and how dare I bring anything up
Refuses to deal with emotional issues he has and just gets angry if any are brought up
Unkind to anyone not "smart" enough" or quick enough to grasp what he is saying.
Rude and inconsiderate, and gets his "feelings hurt" if asked not to do something that is bothering someone else
Throws what I call "adult temper tantrums" that are quiet, covert, etc, but they are there nonetheless. It can be months of a silent treatment for example
Obnoxious
But....he loves us and would do anything for us he could physically do. Says he has nothing if he doesn't have his family. But we are all miserable. Do I stay or leave? I just feel so conflicted....
Anonymous
09/13/2022 17:01
Subject: Re:Take them or leave them - brutally honest description of your spouse
DH:
Pros:
Tall, dark and handsome
Still finds DW attractive, relatively good lover
Has unicorn job that earns over 1M but allows him evenings and weekends with kids
Good father
Funny and kind
Smart has Ivy degrees
Good husband, puts up with my quirks, I can do whatever I want.
Cons:
Chronic illnesses, DW lives in fear of him dying. Almost did once.
Chronic illness leads to less adventure like trying out new foods or traveling to developing countries
Chronic illness makes it more likely DW will be caretaker in old age
Has developed dad bod and is starting to lose hair.
Crazy family, no familial support.
Pros:
Tall, dark and handsome
Still finds DW attractive, relatively good lover
Has unicorn job that earns over 1M but allows him evenings and weekends with kids
Good father
Funny and kind
Smart has Ivy degrees
Good husband, puts up with my quirks, I can do whatever I want.
Cons:
Chronic illnesses, DW lives in fear of him dying. Almost did once.
Chronic illness leads to less adventure like trying out new foods or traveling to developing countries
Chronic illness makes it more likely DW will be caretaker in old age
Has developed dad bod and is starting to lose hair.
Crazy family, no familial support.
Anonymous
09/13/2022 16:52
Subject: Take them or leave them - brutally honest description of your spouse
DW:
Pros:
Pretty, fit, works out
Great fashion sense
Happy, likes to laugh, is an optimist
High drive, really enjoys sex, up for (almost) anything
Hard worker, high earner (MD)
Cons:
Often thinks her way is the best/only way
Great mom but overindulgent, gives in to DD too often
Can be emotionally needy/exhausting, needs to talk everything out
Anxious, can't let things go
Pros:
Pretty, fit, works out
Great fashion sense
Happy, likes to laugh, is an optimist
High drive, really enjoys sex, up for (almost) anything
Hard worker, high earner (MD)
Cons:
Often thinks her way is the best/only way
Great mom but overindulgent, gives in to DD too often
Can be emotionally needy/exhausting, needs to talk everything out
Anxious, can't let things go
Anonymous
09/13/2022 16:46
Subject: Take them or leave them - brutally honest description of your spouse
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:My DH:
Excellent at what he does professionally, well respected
Sucks in bed. Exact same position every single time, ED + premature ejaculation
Short and overweight
Balding
Helps around the house if prompted
Low earner for DC - $120k -$140k
Not a planner
Not much common sense
ADHD
Bipolar
Paranoid
Good at cooking steak
Does the grocery shopping
A shouter
Mean when angry and often angry (bipolar)
Lowbrow taste in food/culture
Very self centered
Terrible parent (shouter and angry)
Cheated with two different people
Forgot to mention extremely small p3nis.
You married George Costanza!
He wasn't like this in the beginning but yeah. I'm Mrs. Costanza.
Anonymous
09/13/2022 16:02
Subject: Take them or leave them - brutally honest description of your spouse
DH:
Good looking
Tall
Not slim but still very attractive
Funny, witty, charming
Ambitious
High earner ($500k +)
Responsible with finances
Loyal
Now the bad stuff:
Short tempered
Explosive
Mean, cut throat, goes for the jugular. Whatever weakness you have will be used against you.
Uses name calling in arguments, even with DC
Shoves
Good looking
Tall
Not slim but still very attractive
Funny, witty, charming
Ambitious
High earner ($500k +)
Responsible with finances
Loyal
Now the bad stuff:
Short tempered
Explosive
Mean, cut throat, goes for the jugular. Whatever weakness you have will be used against you.
Uses name calling in arguments, even with DC
Shoves
Anonymous
09/13/2022 15:59
Subject: Take them or leave them - brutally honest description of your spouse
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:My DH:
Excellent at what he does professionally, well respected
Sucks in bed. Exact same position every single time, ED + premature ejaculation
Short and overweight
Balding
Helps around the house if prompted
Low earner for DC - $120k -$140k
Not a planner
Not much common sense
ADHD
Bipolar
Paranoid
Good at cooking steak
Does the grocery shopping
A shouter
Mean when angry and often angry (bipolar)
Lowbrow taste in food/culture
Very self centered
Terrible parent (shouter and angry)
Cheated with two different people
Forgot to mention extremely small p3nis.
You married George Costanza!