Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Agree that weight distribution is a factor. Even when I had 100 pounds to lose, I didn't look as heavy as a weighed. My weight was very evenly distributed and while I obviously couldn't hide that I was obese, I looked less obese than the reality.

After that, haircut and make up make a difference. You have to cut your hair for the hair you have. I have thin hair but a lot of it. Long hair made me look more overweight because it didn't hold a ton of style. To look put together when you're obese, you need definition.
Tailor your clothes. I had to buy for my hips and chest so I got items tailored to fit my stomach.

How about super thick hair with wave, starting to grey?

OP here, are you me? Color has been easy for me, but I'm surprised at how few stylists can properly cut layers and thin out thick hair.

Anonymous wrote:I guess I’m the dissenting voice for the structured and tailored clothing. By nature of being very large and having lumps varies places, structured clothing never looks right. I think of a teacher I knew. She wore long loose and flowy skirts and dresses or midi length and always looked so beautiful. She accessorized well and used beautiful scarfs in her hair a lot; tied around a low bun, as a headband, etc.

Tailored does not necessarily mean structured. It also means your skirt hemline hits at the right place, your jacket fits both your bust and your shoulders properly, your pants drape over your stomach and taper the right way, your sleeves are the right length. If you ever watched Girls, when dressing up Lena Dunham's character, the costume designer made a conscious choice to put her in ill fitting clothes. That's what makes her look sloppy.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm not talking about body positivity, so please don't go there. I'm just curious about the heavy women I see who are so beautiful, so put together. I need to lose 100 pounds, and even in nice clothing, I look frumpy and sloppy. I'm sure there are tricks to this, maybe nicer makeup or a good haircut or something? How can I look more like them?

Heres some inspo I like. Overweight women looking good:



[img]
https://media.glamour.com/photos/5d62ea6e774eaf000860170b/1:1/w_1200,c_limit/cece%20olisa.png[/img]

Only 3 of these are flattering.

Anonymous wrote:Dresses are always more flattering than shorts, pants, jeans or any two-piece outfit.

Not if you have heavy legs.

Anonymous wrote:I'm not talking about body positivity, so please don't go there. I'm just curious about the heavy women I see who are so beautiful, so put together. I need to lose 100 pounds, and even in nice clothing, I look frumpy and sloppy. I'm sure there are tricks to this, maybe nicer makeup or a good haircut or something? How can I look more like them?

Heres some inspo I like. Overweight women looking good:



[img]
https://media.glamour.com/photos/5d62ea6e774eaf000860170b/1:1/w_1200,c_limit/cece%20olisa.png[/img]

Dresses are always more flattering than shorts, pants, jeans or any two-piece outfit.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have a colleague who is obese and she always looks really put together. She always has on light, natural makeup, and tends to wear dresses that are solid colors in a-line or maybe fit and flare type cute, knee length, and often a cropped cardigan or blazer with it. And often a nice eye catching necklace.
I would hate wearing dresses every day but clearly she’s decided that works for her.

This is your answer, OP. Dresses. They are always more flattering than pants.

Not always.

- people who carry weight in bottom half

Anonymous wrote:Agree that weight distribution is a factor. Even when I had 100 pounds to lose, I didn't look as heavy as a weighed. My weight was very evenly distributed and while I obviously couldn't hide that I was obese, I looked less obese than the reality.

After that, haircut and make up make a difference. You have to cut your hair for the hair you have. I have thin hair but a lot of it. Long hair made me look more overweight because it didn't hold a ton of style. To look put together when you're obese, you need definition.
Tailor your clothes. I had to buy for my hips and chest so I got items tailored to fit my stomach.

How about super thick hair with wave, starting to grey?

Google says Ina is 5’2” and 154 pounds. She looks bigger than that to me. In any case, I place neatness and Fitbit over style. The bigger people I know have a “given up” appearance. Usually baggy. I would consider a stylist in Nordstrom’s to update your look.

Agree that weight distribution is a factor. Even when I had 100 pounds to lose, I didn't look as heavy as a weighed. My weight was very evenly distributed and while I obviously couldn't hide that I was obese, I looked less obese than the reality.

After that, haircut and make up make a difference. You have to cut your hair for the hair you have. I have thin hair but a lot of it. Long hair made me look more overweight because it didn't hold a ton of style. To look put together when you're obese, you need definition.
Tailor your clothes. I had to buy for my hips and chest so I got items tailored to fit my stomach.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I always think of Ina Garten, but she’s a little older and essentially wears the same thing all the time. But she looks polished.

She is tiny IRL.

Oh?

I don't know who this person is, but she does NOT look polished. She looks terrible. I would be devastated if I looked this bad.

Anonymous wrote:I have a colleague who is obese and she always looks really put together. She always has on light, natural makeup, and tends to wear dresses that are solid colors in a-line or maybe fit and flare type cute, knee length, and often a cropped cardigan or blazer with it. And often a nice eye catching necklace.
I would hate wearing dresses every day but clearly she’s decided that works for her.

This is your answer, OP. Dresses. They are always more flattering than pants.

Anonymous wrote:I guess I’m the dissenting voice for the structured and tailored clothing. By nature of being very large and having lumps varies places, structured clothing never looks right. I think of a teacher I knew. She wore long loose and flowy skirts and dresses or midi length and always looked so beautiful. She accessorized well and used beautiful scarfs in her hair a lot; tied around a low bun, as a headband, etc.

This is why it matters to know your body type and what you’re comfortable wearing. My mother and sister are the same size but carry their weight differently. My mom wears the flowy type outfits you describe and looks great, and my sister wears tailored, closer fitting clothes and also looks great. They wear what fits their bodies and personalities, I think it’s 50/50 between understanding what works for your body and feeling good in what you wear.

Anonymous wrote:My friend wears Spanx and can barely breathe half way through the day. But she does look really nice!

She is more bold in wearing form fitting clothing which helps her look less frumpy (I'm 15-20lbs over weight and often foolishly try to cover my gut wit blousy tops that create a tent effect).

I would rather look like a hot mess then be trapped in spanx all day. Life’s too short!

Layering. Look into long vests and other interesting layering pieces.an open cardigan over monochrome outfit. Sweater over dress or jumpsuit. Etc.

Be ruthless in only buying clothes that fit. Avoid polyester. It is way better to have a small wardrobe of high quality, fitting items. They do NOT need to be boring but basics are a good place to build from.

Invest in shoes and jewelry that will always fit.

Find a few people your size and shape on Instagram and watch how they build outfits.

It is not your fault that most fashion is cheap, I’ll fitting crap out there and nobody is designing for larger than average shapes. But unfortunately it takes way more work to find wearable stuff!