Meant to say it is in our culture to take care of our parents.

How does your DH feel about this? What is his family financial situation?

If I were in your shoes, I would take out the loan to get my family out. I would live bare minimum on dh’s income alone.

My parents live in America but are poor immigrants. They had some health problems and have no money or income. We took over all their bills. Eventually we bought them a house in our name, pay all the bills and give them allowance plus gifts like cars, clothes and vacations. This increase happened over a decade. Initially it was $1000 per month for bills. Then we paid the mortgage. Then I gave them my old car. Then I bought them a new car.

We are also Asian. It is not in our culture to take care of our parents. I’m fortunate that my DH is on board taking care of my family financially. I am always surprised how some Americans turn their backs on their family members in regards to money.

Someone I love is stuck in a very poor country and constantly needs money just to survive. I used to send some regularly. I finally realized I can't and also hope to manage my own life. It's a tough realization. He's going to have to figure something out on his own. Or maybe he won't. But just like you, I'm not the solution.

Vote for Biden

Sh*t you will never pay off a 60,000 personal loan. Never. They are stuck. Hopefully, they will get evicted, and can just buy flight out of there. Go to an embassy. I don't know

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What happens when the rent debt keeps accumulating?

Will they get evicted? Will they go to jail?

Op here. I have no idea. I have asked them to move but they say they can’t because of the unpaid back rent.

How is that so exactly? But they are accruing more rent stuck in limbo. Can a place of worship foot the bill so they can fly out at least?

Let me add taking out loans wouldn't be on my radar right now. I'd want a lot of information about why they cannot leave.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What happens when the rent debt keeps accumulating?

Will they get evicted? Will they go to jail?

Op here. I have no idea. I have asked them to move but they say they can’t because of the unpaid back rent.

How is that so exactly? But they are accruing more rent stuck in limbo. Can a place of worship foot the bill so they can fly out at least?

Immigrant here with parents in an Eastern European country with similar situation. Ignore some of these “pull by the bootstraps” mom posters they don’t get it, it could be cultural or just their mentality but if no jobs, no jobs you can’t help them if they can’t help themselves in a job search. My dad was also defeated I know what you mean by that statement.

Now, if you are serious about helping them, you need to commit to it - I took out school loans and some other personal loans to help them pay off their debt there and close everything out. Sell it all, get out of the country. They moved to a different country in Western Europe and I told them once I help them once that’s it. I got my dad a driving job and finally my mom started cleaning homes with a company. They had a fresh start and are doing well. Now on my end, with all my debt and money I used on them, I had to chase higher paying jobs, gigs, and sell stuff on eBay ha! I cut down a ton in my expenses. My sibling did not help at all. I love with that debt still but it was my decision to help. I didn’t have to but I wanted to. I don’t think many Americans will get this and they’ll tell you not to do it because it’s not smart. Yes, it’s not smart but its a choice and a decision that is yours. By the way, sending money every few months puts you in a bad position and doesn’t help them so you need to do a bigger financial act to help.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Didn't you already ask this? Not trying to be snide but wondering what changed?

Op here. Nothing has changed. I don’t have money to give them a lump sum of 30-60k in dollars that they need to pay off their back rent from the past year, my little sisters school fees and pack up to leave.

I have been paying them about 1k a month which is about half my paycheck. My two sisters who live with my parents finally are bringing in some income, but again, at entry level salaries, they don’t make that much and both are contributing as much as they can/want to.

Together the three of us seem to just barely cover some of their current rent and food.

Meanwhile my father is deep in depression and is humiliated. He’s been asking the community there for money and no one wants to help. They can’t leave the expensive apartment until the back rent is paid off. Thus they can’t leave the country.

Ok, there's no "want to" here. Tell your sisters they will pay as much as they absolutely can. They aren't kids anymore and this is what families do in a crisis.

Tell us again why your mom doesn't have a job?

My mom has never worked a day in her life and can’t read or write she wants to work but no one would hire her.

She can clean or watch kids. It's not beneath her.

That's not so easy to do as the spouse of a guest worker in the Gulf. The big problem is their location and the things people can do to guest workers wirh debt over there. Priority one is getting them back home where things are cheaper, safer, and there's extended family.

Sounds like a troll. Mom wants to work, but "no one wants to hire her" and now being the spouse of a guest worker in the Gulf is an issue? Dude, I am Pakistani with relatives in the UAE - if she wants a job she can do something under the table within her community (Bengali/Pakistani/whatever). She can also provide catering to families within your community from her home - they pick up food from her apt or your sisters help with drop off.

It seems like this is about saving face?

Anonymous wrote:Op here. What kind of side jons can I do to make more money?

Uber, door dash, Uber eats, retail, dog walking, dog sitting, babysitting it goes on and on, op.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Didn't you already ask this? Not trying to be snide but wondering what changed?

Op here. Nothing has changed. I don’t have money to give them a lump sum of 30-60k in dollars that they need to pay off their back rent from the past year, my little sisters school fees and pack up to leave.

I have been paying them about 1k a month which is about half my paycheck. My two sisters who live with my parents finally are bringing in some income, but again, at entry level salaries, they don’t make that much and both are contributing as much as they can/want to.

Together the three of us seem to just barely cover some of their current rent and food.

Meanwhile my father is deep in depression and is humiliated. He’s been asking the community there for money and no one wants to help. They can’t leave the expensive apartment until the back rent is paid off. Thus they can’t leave the country.

Ok, there's no "want to" here. Tell your sisters they will pay as much as they absolutely can. They aren't kids anymore and this is what families do in a crisis.

Tell us again why your mom doesn't have a job?

My mom has never worked a day in her life and can’t read or write she wants to work but no one would hire her.

She can clean or watch kids. It's not beneath her.

That's not so easy to do as the spouse of a guest worker in the Gulf. The big problem is their location and the things people can do to guest workers wirh debt over there. Priority one is getting them back home where things are cheaper, safer, and there's extended family.

Sounds like a troll. Mom wants to work, but "no one wants to hire her" and now being the spouse of a guest worker in the Gulf is an issue? Dude, I am Pakistani with relatives in the UAE - if she wants a job she can do something under the table within her community (Bengali/Pakistani/whatever). She can also provide catering to families within your community from her home - they pick up food from her apt or your sisters help with drop off.

Anonymous wrote:Just be careful, I think this thread could be a scam.

Op here. It’s not, I wish it were.

Just be careful, I think this thread could be a scam.

Anonymous wrote:What happens when the rent debt keeps accumulating?

Will they get evicted? Will they go to jail?

Op here. I have no idea. I have asked them to move but they say they can’t because of the unpaid back rent.

What happens when the rent debt keeps accumulating?

Will they get evicted? Will they go to jail?