Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My husband freely admits he was looking for someone attractive and I freely admit that I was looking for someone with the potential to make a good income. We also just truly enjoy one another and want the same things out of life. Together 20 years and married for 17. What’s the issue?

The issue is that you are both superficial and most people don’t aspire to that but I’m glad you found each other and it works out.

Eh. Better looking people have more choices. That’s just life. They can afford to be pickier.

Right. And Jeff Bezos is such a handsome devil.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think OP makes a good point. I don’t think that men are never told to settle on looks but if they are it’s very subtle (just general “make sure you’re going for women in their league) and it happens way more to women. “Lose weight” is the very first thing a lot of people say.

Or get contacts, straighter your hair, wear such and such outfit. She's also told, go out with the nerdy guy, with the glasses, who may be a little short, or a little overweight, and bald with balls stle, but he's super sweet and will make a great husband and father.


Meanwhile when was the last time you heard a guy being told to date the super tall girl, or the flat-chested girl, or the chubby nerdy girl with thinning, or curly frizzy hair and glasses with bad style because she has a good heart and will make an awesome wife and mother?

Yep. I have never seen somebody tell a guy guy he should be open dating to the chubby girl with frizzy hair.

Have you never gone out and public and looked at the couple out there? Open your eyes and you’ll see that men don’t need to be told that.

So the hot guys or slightly above average men, or even the average looking men are dating the chubby and frizzy haired girls in droves?

Not true. Most women end up with averaging guys as well, but they get told they have to go for the guys they aren't really attracted to ie the bald guys, the short guys etc.

Whereas no one ever tells guys to go for the equivalent in women Average attractiveness is okay for guys, but if a woman wants the same thing, she's told her expectations are unrealistic and she needs to settle

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Incels aside, most men are willing to compromise on looks/weight because reliable access to sex is a higher priority than waiting around for a model.

Women are more likely to be okay with being single unless/until they find someone who ticks all the boxes.

Hate to admit it, but I agree.

Yep. Me too.

That's because the 4 of you are incels.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Incels aside, most men are willing to compromise on looks/weight because reliable access to sex is a higher priority than waiting around for a model.

Women are more likely to be okay with being single unless/until they find someone who ticks all the boxes.

Hate to admit it, but I agree.

Yep. Me too.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think OP makes a good point. I don’t think that men are never told to settle on looks but if they are it’s very subtle (just general “make sure you’re going for women in their league) and it happens way more to women. “Lose weight” is the very first thing a lot of people say.

Or get contacts, straighter your hair, wear such and such outfit. She's also told, go out with the nerdy guy, with the glasses, who may be a little short, or a little overweight, and bald with balls stle, but he's super sweet and will make a great husband and father.


Meanwhile when was the last time you heard a guy being told to date the super tall girl, or the flat-chested girl, or the chubby nerdy girl with thinning, or curly frizzy hair and glasses with bad style because she has a good heart and will make an awesome wife and mother?

Yep. I have never seen somebody tell a guy guy he should be open dating to the chubby girl with frizzy hair.

Have you never gone out and public and looked at the couple out there? Open your eyes and you’ll see that men don’t need to be told that.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My husband freely admits he was looking for someone attractive and I freely admit that I was looking for someone with the potential to make a good income. We also just truly enjoy one another and want the same things out of life. Together 20 years and married for 17. What’s the issue?

The issue is that you are both superficial and most people don’t aspire to that but I’m glad you found each other and it works out.

Eh. Better looking people have more choices. That’s just life. They can afford to be pickier.

Anonymous wrote:I definitely wanted a good-looking guy. I got a good-looking guy. We have beautiful children, as adults. In reality, good-looking people have it easier.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Incels aside, most men are willing to compromise on looks/weight because reliable access to sex is a higher priority than waiting around for a model.

Women are more likely to be okay with being single unless/until they find someone who ticks all the boxes.

Hate to admit it, but I agree.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Incels aside, most men are willing to compromise on looks/weight because reliable access to sex is a higher priority than waiting around for a model.

Women are more likely to be okay with being single unless/until they find someone who ticks all the boxes.

Hate to admit it, but I agree.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My husband freely admits he was looking for someone attractive and I freely admit that I was looking for someone with the potential to make a good income. We also just truly enjoy one another and want the same things out of life. Together 20 years and married for 17. What’s the issue?

The issue is that you are both superficial and most people don’t aspire to that but I’m glad you found each other and it works out.

NP here but I don't view that outlook as superficial. Everyone has standards for looks, class/income etc. The pp just set hers a little higher. These are just baseline standards in addition to being compatible in other ways. Nothing wrong with that.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:^^^

Men and Women Misperceive What the Opposite Sex Finds Attractive

Participants were... presented with an image of the same-sex body and were asked to adjust BMI and body fat percentage to reflect their own body shape, their ideal body shape, and the body shape that a heterosexual opposite-sex individual would find most attractive for short-term and long-term relationships," the researchers described. "When presented with opposite-sex bodies, participants were asked to, again, adjust BMI and body fat percentage to reflect their own preferences in an opposite-sex body for short-term and long-term partners.

Xue and Perrett found that women overestimated men's preference for thinness in female partners. At the same time, men overestimated women's preference for muscularity in male partners. (See figure above.)

Though the differences were slight, this is still good news. It suggests that men and women cultured to Western norms of ideal bodies do not desire as stringent a standard of attractiveness as most of us think

Men's and women's body dissatisfaction is associated with what they perceive the opposite-sex prefer. Therefore, correcting misperceptions of opposite-sex preferences might help to prevent and treat eating disorders or body dissatisfaction among young men and women," the authors write.

https://www.realclearscience.com/quick_and_clear_science/2020/06/01/men_and_women_misperceive_what_the_opposite_sex_finds_attractive.html

The article also has a visual chart of what men vs women find attractive. Maybe someone can post the image. I can not seem to do it.

The differences are actually pretty tiny. It is not like men prefer a BMI of 30 and women think they need to be at 20 to be attractive. The differences they found would be hard to discern in real life.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My husband freely admits he was looking for someone attractive and I freely admit that I was looking for someone with the potential to make a good income. We also just truly enjoy one another and want the same things out of life. Together 20 years and married for 17. What’s the issue?

The issue is that you are both superficial and most people don’t aspire to that but I’m glad you found each other and it works out.

Anonymous wrote:^^^

Men and Women Misperceive What the Opposite Sex Finds Attractive

Participants were... presented with an image of the same-sex body and were asked to adjust BMI and body fat percentage to reflect their own body shape, their ideal body shape, and the body shape that a heterosexual opposite-sex individual would find most attractive for short-term and long-term relationships," the researchers described. "When presented with opposite-sex bodies, participants were asked to, again, adjust BMI and body fat percentage to reflect their own preferences in an opposite-sex body for short-term and long-term partners.

Xue and Perrett found that women overestimated men's preference for thinness in female partners. At the same time, men overestimated women's preference for muscularity in male partners. (See figure above.)

Though the differences were slight, this is still good news. It suggests that men and women cultured to Western norms of ideal bodies do not desire as stringent a standard of attractiveness as most of us think

Men's and women's body dissatisfaction is associated with what they perceive the opposite-sex prefer. Therefore, correcting misperceptions of opposite-sex preferences might help to prevent and treat eating disorders or body dissatisfaction among young men and women," the authors write.

https://www.realclearscience.com/quick_and_clear_science/2020/06/01/men_and_women_misperceive_what_the_opposite_sex_finds_attractive.html

The article also has a visual chart of what men vs women find attractive. Maybe someone can post the image. I can not seem to do it.

Men and Women Misperceive What the Opposite Sex Finds Attractive

Participants were... presented with an image of the same-sex body and were asked to adjust BMI and body fat percentage to reflect their own body shape, their ideal body shape, and the body shape that a heterosexual opposite-sex individual would find most attractive for short-term and long-term relationships," the researchers described. "When presented with opposite-sex bodies, participants were asked to, again, adjust BMI and body fat percentage to reflect their own preferences in an opposite-sex body for short-term and long-term partners.

Xue and Perrett found that women overestimated men's preference for thinness in female partners. At the same time, men overestimated women's preference for muscularity in male partners. (See figure above.)

Though the differences were slight, this is still good news. It suggests that men and women cultured to Western norms of ideal bodies do not desire as stringent a standard of attractiveness as most of us think

Men's and women's body dissatisfaction is associated with what they perceive the opposite-sex prefer. Therefore, correcting misperceptions of opposite-sex preferences might help to prevent and treat eating disorders or body dissatisfaction among young men and women," the authors write.