Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am going to assume this person is dying. I am sorry.

NP. I wondered this too. While he shouldn't have texted OP once a year saying "I love you" (wtf?), it sounds as if maybe he got to a point he felt he could start moving toward an actual relationship--then he pulled back immediately when he was diagnosed with something.

This being nasty-minded old DCUM, of course, everyone's saying he's married (OP never said that, and while it's certainly possible, hell, maybe he isn't). But I do wonder if the actual scenario is that he's ill or terminally ill. The "I have always loved you" sounds weirdly final and kind of fatalistic, like a farewell.

OP mentioned cagily that he got very bad news but it's not clear to me if OP knows what that news is.

Still: OP shouldn't contact him again. Its all kind of sad, but it's not healthy for OP to be yo-yo-ing around with him.

She has posted before. He is married. They had an affair years ago. He contacted her recently and after that he was diagnosed with cancer. He is still with his wife.

Anonymous wrote:I am going to assume this person is dying. I am sorry.

NP. I wondered this too. While he shouldn't have texted OP once a year saying "I love you" (wtf?), it sounds as if maybe he got to a point he felt he could start moving toward an actual relationship--then he pulled back immediately when he was diagnosed with something.

This being nasty-minded old DCUM, of course, everyone's saying he's married (OP never said that, and while it's certainly possible, hell, maybe he isn't). But I do wonder if the actual scenario is that he's ill or terminally ill. The "I have always loved you" sounds weirdly final and kind of fatalistic, like a farewell.

OP mentioned cagily that he got very bad news but it's not clear to me if OP knows what that news is.

Still: OP shouldn't contact him again. Its all kind of sad, but it's not healthy for OP to be yo-yo-ing around with him.

Actions speak louder than words.

Anonymous wrote:Ewwwwwwwww this guy sounds really gross. And yeah, sounds like his wife found out.

+1

Bottom line he has made it crystal clear you are not his top priority and are a distant one compared to whatever is highest for him right now. Ponder that and maybe it will help you feel less lovesick. He has told you where you stand.

it is possible to love someone you can't be with for various reasons.

To me it sounds like he is dying, but who knows?

I think you should find someone who wants to be with you.

OP, this guy seems to enjoy manipulating you. Someone who truly cared about you would not leave you hanging, with whiplash, and leaving these crumbs for you, no matter what they were going through. I'm sorry, but I think you should detach and move on.

It’s easy for people to say they live you, but actions speak louder than words. A person who truly lives you wouldn’t be treating you this way.

Ewwwwwwwww this guy sounds really gross. And yeah, sounds like his wife found out.

I've been talking to a guy who could be your guy's brother, OP. Same intense talking, same feelings of longing. He ghosted me 3 weeks ago when he found out some pretty bad news. Emailed me twice after he blocked me all over social media to explain himself but when I replied, he said don't try to reach me, you can't. please leave me be.

Then as soon as I was getting over him, 3 weeks after initially ghosting me, he decided to pop back up and text me. Says he misses me. Unblocks me on social media. I ignored his messages and then he says "say something please!". So I do. I said I too miss you. Guess what happened next? He blocks me again on social media and resumes to ghost me. F that. I deserve more than that. What a selfish a**hole.

Anonymous wrote:We’re making assumptions though, my divorced grandma met someone who said something similar after they were so in love, he got diagnosed with terminal cancer and in a few weeks died, he never told my grandma he left with an I love you and please don’t contact me. He didn’t have a wife as he was widowed.

This guy has been sending "i love you" messages to OP for years. It's a different situation.

I am going to assume this person is dying. I am sorry.

We’re making assumptions though, my divorced grandma met someone who said something similar after they were so in love, he got diagnosed with terminal cancer and in a few weeks died, he never told my grandma he left with an I love you and please don’t contact me. He didn’t have a wife as he was widowed.

Was the bad news that his wife found out? I’m not kidding.
Either way, you don’t want this person in your life. If he/she wanted to be with you romantically in a real relationship, it would happen. There is no longer “if only” when it comes to romantic relationships not when both people are adults. People like to think there are, but truly, there aren’t.

Even if he’s single, you don’t want a relationship with a person who goes radio silent then says he’s too upset to talk then says he regrets getting in touch. Why is this attractive to you?
You aren’t trash as another poster suggested, but you do need to learn from this experience. Be careful who you associate with. If you want a romantic relationship, find someone who wants one with you, who wants your company in good times and bad.

Your person sounds mentally ill or very emotionally damaged. It may not be his fault, but neither is it your problem to fix. And yes, it’s easy to get sucked into this sort of thing to feel chosen and special. It isn’t the sort of situation a healthy adult should be in, not when there is a big world out there with all kinds of people to love in healthy appropriate (and yes that does sometimes include sex( ways.

Not a good relationship for long term. Drop it Op. All the history told you is wasn't going the distance.

Love is a choice. You sound immature to be so overcome by "a feeling"