Anonymous
Post 08/02/2021 12:24     Subject: Hours for a reasonably quiet house.
Anonymous wrote:12? As in midnight????? Oh no. House is quiet at 9. Kitchen closed except for snacks.


Similar to our house. Quiet by 10 pm. Actual cooking is done after dinner. Its not a snack-fest after dinner. You can have a snack, but its not another full meal. I don't particularly care what other teens/houses are doing. My kids know that if I catch them up goofing around, I'll shutdown their device access to the internet.
Anonymous
Post 08/02/2021 11:42     Subject: Re:Hours for a reasonably quiet house.
Our rule is to be polite when others are sleeping. My teens stay up as late as they want, but they know not to make noise after I go to bed around 10. If they get food, they do it quietly, if they need to make a call, they go in the basement or close their door, they use headphones. No way is cooking or banging pots and pans ok.

Likewise, I don't make a ton of noise when they are sleeping and I'm up working at 7. (unlike my mom back in the day who used to vacuum as soon as she got up).

It's part of being in a family. Still doesn't mean I micromanage their bedtimes - I definitely do not.
Anonymous
Post 08/02/2021 11:13     Subject: Hours for a reasonably quiet house.
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:OP Kitchen never closed as long as they clean up.

12 pm weekdays
2 am weekends

But they are old enough to not wake you.

It's summer let them be kids. And if they are home not out wandering I say YAY


DP but yeah, so true. DS met up with a friend at 1am to go for a walk around the neighborhood. I didn’t find out until the next day when he told me about it. He thought it was great since it was a nice night out. I was not happy. True, I never told him not to do this. Because I never thought he would! So a new rule in our house is no leaving in the middle of the night when your parents are sleeping and don’t know you are gone.


Do you live in a dangerous neighborhood? I don’t have a problem with this.


Kids smoke weed in the daytime too.

It’s safe but they are 13. That’s a little young for that IMO. I don’t think I’d care as much if they were 16.


My cousin's son was doing these midnight outings, she wasn't worried until she caught him smoking weed.

Anonymous
Post 08/02/2021 11:10     Subject: Hours for a reasonably quiet house.
Anonymous wrote:Between Covid and summer break my kids 14-15-17 have to boundaries with sleep patterns. They will be up at 2-3-4 am hanging out, cooking and such. My wife thinks this is all fine, I don't. Additionally they are waking us both up multiple times a night which is affecting my energy for work and just general life. When I talk to the kids they say all of our friends stay up the same times. This is turning into a real argument between my wife and myself. I feel that during week 12 is a reasonable time for house to start to be quiet and weekends 1 am or so. What am I missing?


That's the issue. They need to not do that. They can stay up, as long as it's quiet and doesn't wake you.

Or are they waking you on purpose? My rule is: no waking me on purpose unless it's an emergency (for example, arterial bleeding, fire, flood, tornado).
Anonymous
Post 08/02/2021 10:15     Subject: Hours for a reasonably quiet house.
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:OP Kitchen never closed as long as they clean up.

12 pm weekdays
2 am weekends

But they are old enough to not wake you.

It's summer let them be kids. And if they are home not out wandering I say YAY


DP but yeah, so true. DS met up with a friend at 1am to go for a walk around the neighborhood. I didn’t find out until the next day when he told me about it. He thought it was great since it was a nice night out. I was not happy. True, I never told him not to do this. Because I never thought he would! So a new rule in our house is no leaving in the middle of the night when your parents are sleeping and don’t know you are gone.


Do you live in a dangerous neighborhood? I don’t have a problem with this.


It’s safe but they are 13. That’s a little young for that IMO. I don’t think I’d care as much if they were 16.


My cousin's son was doing these midnight outings, she wasn't worried until she caught him smoking weed.

Anonymous
Post 08/01/2021 09:09     Subject: Hours for a reasonably quiet house.
No cooking after 10. They can get food without having to cook. Quiet time starts at 11 on weeknights and 12 on weekends. They are expected to be quiet if someone in the house is sleeping. Your wife is unreasonable here, both as a spouse and as a parent.
Anonymous
Post 08/01/2021 09:00     Subject: Hours for a reasonably quiet house.
OP--our house is quiet by 10PM. DS needs to turn off the tv and read or do something quietly in his room. If he gets a snack, it needs to be something he can grab and eat-- no cooking. I have insomnia and strongly believe in a sleep routine-- if DS wakes me up, I get pretty mad, but he also needs to sleep.
Anonymous
Post 08/01/2021 08:52     Subject: Re:Hours for a reasonably quiet house.
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:They are cooking for the middle of the night? Oh, hell no. Your wife is way off here. Y’all need to have a family meeting to set some ground rules.



I have teenage boys. They are like babies. They eat every few hours. It isn't unusual for them to want to make a pizza late at night. I don't care as long as they aren't loud and clean up (usually the next day).


My husband and I disagree about this too. I win. Teens can’t sleep when they’re hungry, and they get super hungry after 11 pm. They know the rules. Cook quietly, brush you teeth, clean up in the morning.
Anonymous
Post 07/31/2021 10:40     Subject: Hours for a reasonably quiet house.
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:OP Kitchen never closed as long as they clean up.

12 pm weekdays
2 am weekends

But they are old enough to not wake you.

It's summer let them be kids. And if they are home not out wandering I say YAY


DP but yeah, so true. DS met up with a friend at 1am to go for a walk around the neighborhood. I didn’t find out until the next day when he told me about it. He thought it was great since it was a nice night out. I was not happy. True, I never told him not to do this. Because I never thought he would! So a new rule in our house is no leaving in the middle of the night when your parents are sleeping and don’t know you are gone.


Do you live in a dangerous neighborhood? I don’t have a problem with this.


It’s safe but they are 13. That’s a little young for that IMO. I don’t think I’d care as much if they were 16.
Anonymous
Post 07/31/2021 01:33     Subject: Hours for a reasonably quiet house.
Anonymous wrote:I let them stay up until midnight. If they are silently up in their rooms, sometimes I don’t notice until I go to the bathroom at 1 or 2 AM. When I catch them, I make them really go to bed and then the next morning, I am loud as hell by 8 AM.


That’s a super b***chy and unnecessary thing to do. Why? Teenagers are humans that sometimes can’t sleep, or like to stay up and have some alone time. I don’t understand controlling people like you.
Anonymous
Post 07/30/2021 21:55     Subject: Hours for a reasonably quiet house.
Op, you are entitled to a preference, and to have that preference honored. Your spouse's outlook is an extreme outliner.
Anonymous
Post 07/30/2021 21:00     Subject: Hours for a reasonably quiet house.
I would have come down like the wrath of God the first night they woke me up, OP, and yelled at my spouse into the bargain. No one disrupts my sleep with impunity

My teen is in bed at about 11pm. He can eat until then, whatever he wants, if he cleans up and doesn’t make noise.
In general, the understanding is that more freedom comes with greater responsibility and sensitivity to others. You can’t have one without the other!

Anonymous
Post 07/30/2021 20:59     Subject: Hours for a reasonably quiet house.
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:OP Kitchen never closed as long as they clean up.

12 pm weekdays
2 am weekends

But they are old enough to not wake you.

It's summer let them be kids. And if they are home not out wandering I say YAY


DP but yeah, so true. DS met up with a friend at 1am to go for a walk around the neighborhood. I didn’t find out until the next day when he told me about it. He thought it was great since it was a nice night out. I was not happy. True, I never told him not to do this. Because I never thought he would! So a new rule in our house is no leaving in the middle of the night when your parents are sleeping and don’t know you are gone.


Do you live in a dangerous neighborhood? I don’t have a problem with this.




My kid started doing that too. I found out he and his friend were vaping on their late-night walks. NOPE!
Anonymous
Post 07/30/2021 20:56     Subject: Re:Hours for a reasonably quiet house.
My kid needs to be quiet after 10pm because I get up for work at ridiculous o’clock. She can stay up til midnight unless there’s some sort of special occasion.
Anonymous
Post 07/30/2021 20:56     Subject: Hours for a reasonably quiet house.
I let them stay up until midnight. If they are silently up in their rooms, sometimes I don’t notice until I go to the bathroom at 1 or 2 AM. When I catch them, I make them really go to bed and then the next morning, I am loud as hell by 8 AM.