Anonymous
Post 07/29/2021 16:06     Subject: Budget Frustration
Why would the salary of the spouse changing jobs go from $250k to $100k? Is this a complete career change or going part-time? Seems like a very extreme reduction. If you don't want to cut expenses and don't want to move, then seems that spouse should keep working at the job.
Anonymous
Post 07/29/2021 15:53     Subject: Budget Frustration
OP— I think if you don’t want to cut travel and spending the only option is to move. How old are your kids? I think the financial pressure of trying to stay in that house will cause you a lot of stress. And if you move to something more affordable you can still enjoy shopping/travel etc.

But your camp prices are fine, that’s just what it costs if you need childcare during the summer.

How much equity is in your home?
Anonymous
Post 07/29/2021 15:48     Subject: Budget Frustration
OP, you can't make this work without SERIOUS changes to lifestyle. I hear you saying, "but that's how we live!" You know, great camps, buying what you need when you need it without thinking about it (people with real budget problems just skip buying a wheelbarrow and hedge clippers and let the yard go to seed), trips. Yeah, you can't afford your lifestyle anymore. That's the thing that has to change.

I'd sell my house and move way out but that's just one of your major lifestyle change options.
Anonymous
Post 07/29/2021 15:45     Subject: Budget Frustration
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:If your HHI drops to 250k, then your 14k /month expenses will be about 67% of your gross. That is not sustainable. Once daycare goes away, things might be ok, but it will still be tight.

The mortgage will be 25% of gross. That is a perfectly reasonable number. If you paid off 100k, it would be even more reasonable.

The 16k a year for travel works out to about 6.5% of gross. That is on the high side. Coupled with the 8 weeks of camp, you could cut someplace there.

You can do everything and not save a lot. You you want to be able to save, you need to move, cut your travel down and watch your smaller expenses, OR have DH keep his job.

I personally would use up the 100k buffer and not save for a year or two while trying to cut expenses and see what happens.


This is what is puzzling me, the rule of thumb was 1/3 of gross income, and we are well below that, but once we add everything up its crushing.

I wish we could boot spouse's parents off mobile plan, that would save $100/month right there We should look at Cricket I think or something...

Travel is like our one splurge, I will try to talk spouse into more camping... and when kids are older I think a beach vacation where we have a longer walk to beach would be more feasible.

Spouse won't keep job, that is clear. Either change jobs or eventually will be pushed out.

How could we use the $100k to reduce our mortgage payment, is that refactoring?


Travel is your one splurge? Cleaners are a splurge, camps are a splurge, that much shopping is a splurge, organic food is a splurge. All trips should be cut if you want to keep the house.


How are camps a splurge? We at least need childcare, how cheap can you get worthwhile camps?


What do you mean, "worthwhile" camps?
Anonymous
Post 07/29/2021 15:42     Subject: Budget Frustration
Yeah, I'd sell and move. Go further out, spend WAY less than 1.2 mil and spouse can commute.
Anonymous
Post 07/29/2021 15:40     Subject: Budget Frustration
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Shopping: so we have this big spend of $600. Here's what it was this month for example

$50 for air filters for HVAC

$80 wheelbarrow

$40 pest traps and bait

$60 rash guards for all 3 kids (getting burned when out swimming)

$10 kids shampoo

$50 hedge trimmers

$40 for summer camp art project supplies

I mean, spending adds up so fast, probably because we have too many kids for my spouse to step back from career, but that ship has sailed clearly...


That only adds up to $330. Look at that, we just saved you $270 a month and we didn't have to cut anything.


Well that was an average for the last 4 months... with some new furniture in the mix.
Anonymous
Post 07/29/2021 15:39     Subject: Re:Budget Frustration
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:How do you only bring home $6,200 a month of $150k salary? I make $124,000 and my take-home is around $3,500 each paycheck after paying the full amount to 401k. Do you have super expensive insurance coming out of your paycheck or something?


Same. I make $150k and take home $6,934/month after maxing 401k and paying for our family's healthcare. However, I'm guessing OP may have higher healthcare costs?


Hmm, I just pulled down my bank statement. I suspect I have the higher withholding to make up for spouses higher salary (I do the taxes and I know one year we had a penalty). We max our 401k of course too and I pay the FSA for medicine and daycare. I suspect that will explain, and means that hopefully it will bump up to $6900 at some point.

Healthcare is very normal, thankfully
Anonymous
Post 07/29/2021 15:37     Subject: Budget Frustration
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Shopping: so we have this big spend of $600. Here's what it was this month for example

$50 for air filters for HVAC

$80 wheelbarrow

$40 pest traps and bait

$60 rash guards for all 3 kids (getting burned when out swimming)

$10 kids shampoo

$50 hedge trimmers

$40 for summer camp art project supplies

I mean, spending adds up so fast, probably because we have too many kids for my spouse to step back from career, but that ship has sailed clearly...


Things you could get from a buy nothing group bolded. Also we have a big yard and garden and do all our own yardwork and don't own a wheelbarrow. Kids' shampoo should not cost $10. You just seem to buy stuff and you're pretty defensive about it. If you cannot entertain the idea that your spending is too high, you need to sell the house.

Alternatively: your DH is creating the budget crunch, so put fixing it in his lap.


I tried for 2 months to get them on a buy nothing group, but the only leads I got were to travel 50 miles to get them. Oh I did get one pair of shears for free, but once I had them I realized they were rusted shut.

Maybe once spouse quits their job, but hunting for bargain yard equipment is waste of time right now, when there are shortages of everything and people are fighting over freaking used cars.
Anonymous
Post 07/29/2021 14:27     Subject: Re:Budget Frustration
Anonymous wrote:How do you only bring home $6,200 a month of $150k salary? I make $124,000 and my take-home is around $3,500 each paycheck after paying the full amount to 401k. Do you have super expensive insurance coming out of your paycheck or something?


Same. I make $150k and take home $6,934/month after maxing 401k and paying for our family's healthcare. However, I'm guessing OP may have higher healthcare costs?
Anonymous
Post 07/29/2021 14:06     Subject: Re:Budget Frustration
How do you only bring home $6,200 a month of $150k salary? I make $124,000 and my take-home is around $3,500 each paycheck after paying the full amount to 401k. Do you have super expensive insurance coming out of your paycheck or something?
Anonymous
Post 07/29/2021 14:03     Subject: Budget Frustration
Anonymous wrote:Shopping: so we have this big spend of $600. Here's what it was this month for example

$50 for air filters for HVAC

$80 wheelbarrow

$40 pest traps and bait

$60 rash guards for all 3 kids (getting burned when out swimming)

$10 kids shampoo

$50 hedge trimmers

$40 for summer camp art project supplies

I mean, spending adds up so fast, probably because we have too many kids for my spouse to step back from career, but that ship has sailed clearly...


That only adds up to $330. Look at that, we just saved you $270 a month and we didn't have to cut anything.
Anonymous
Post 07/29/2021 14:01     Subject: Budget Frustration
Anonymous wrote:Shopping: so we have this big spend of $600. Here's what it was this month for example

$50 for air filters for HVAC

$80 wheelbarrow

$40 pest traps and bait

$60 rash guards for all 3 kids (getting burned when out swimming)

$10 kids shampoo

$50 hedge trimmers

$40 for summer camp art project supplies

I mean, spending adds up so fast, probably because we have too many kids for my spouse to step back from career, but that ship has sailed clearly...


Things you could get from a buy nothing group bolded. Also we have a big yard and garden and do all our own yardwork and don't own a wheelbarrow. Kids' shampoo should not cost $10. You just seem to buy stuff and you're pretty defensive about it. If you cannot entertain the idea that your spending is too high, you need to sell the house.

Alternatively: your DH is creating the budget crunch, so put fixing it in his lap.
Anonymous
Post 07/29/2021 13:59     Subject: Budget Frustration
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:If your HHI drops to 250k, then your 14k /month expenses will be about 67% of your gross. That is not sustainable. Once daycare goes away, things might be ok, but it will still be tight.

The mortgage will be 25% of gross. That is a perfectly reasonable number. If you paid off 100k, it would be even more reasonable.

The 16k a year for travel works out to about 6.5% of gross. That is on the high side. Coupled with the 8 weeks of camp, you could cut someplace there.

You can do everything and not save a lot. You you want to be able to save, you need to move, cut your travel down and watch your smaller expenses, OR have DH keep his job.

I personally would use up the 100k buffer and not save for a year or two while trying to cut expenses and see what happens.


This is what is puzzling me, the rule of thumb was 1/3 of gross income, and we are well below that, but once we add everything up its crushing.

I wish we could boot spouse's parents off mobile plan, that would save $100/month right there We should look at Cricket I think or something...

Travel is like our one splurge, I will try to talk spouse into more camping... and when kids are older I think a beach vacation where we have a longer walk to beach would be more feasible.

Spouse won't keep job, that is clear. Either change jobs or eventually will be pushed out.

How could we use the $100k to reduce our mortgage payment, is that refactoring?


Travel is your one splurge? Cleaners are a splurge, camps are a splurge, that much shopping is a splurge, organic food is a splurge. All trips should be cut if you want to keep the house.


How are camps a splurge? We at least need childcare, how cheap can you get worthwhile camps?


To me the $250 per week of camp is not the splurge, rather it is the 8 weeks of camp for 3 kids. If you drop one week of vacation then you can each cover a week of camp saving the travel money and two weeks of camp. If you switch to a 4x10 schedule for the summer or stagger your start times, you could then use a babysitter to cover the gaps and save some money,
Anonymous
Post 07/29/2021 13:58     Subject: Budget Frustration
Shopping: so we have this big spend of $600. Here's what it was this month for example

$50 for air filters for HVAC

$80 wheelbarrow

$40 pest traps and bait

$60 rash guards for all 3 kids (getting burned when out swimming)

$10 kids shampoo

$50 hedge trimmers

$40 for summer camp art project supplies

I mean, spending adds up so fast, probably because we have too many kids for my spouse to step back from career, but that ship has sailed clearly...
Anonymous
Post 07/29/2021 13:50     Subject: Budget Frustration
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:If your HHI drops to 250k, then your 14k /month expenses will be about 67% of your gross. That is not sustainable. Once daycare goes away, things might be ok, but it will still be tight.

The mortgage will be 25% of gross. That is a perfectly reasonable number. If you paid off 100k, it would be even more reasonable.

The 16k a year for travel works out to about 6.5% of gross. That is on the high side. Coupled with the 8 weeks of camp, you could cut someplace there.

You can do everything and not save a lot. You you want to be able to save, you need to move, cut your travel down and watch your smaller expenses, OR have DH keep his job.

I personally would use up the 100k buffer and not save for a year or two while trying to cut expenses and see what happens.


This is what is puzzling me, the rule of thumb was 1/3 of gross income, and we are well below that, but once we add everything up its crushing.

I wish we could boot spouse's parents off mobile plan, that would save $100/month right there We should look at Cricket I think or something...

Travel is like our one splurge, I will try to talk spouse into more camping... and when kids are older I think a beach vacation where we have a longer walk to beach would be more feasible.

Spouse won't keep job, that is clear. Either change jobs or eventually will be pushed out.

How could we use the $100k to reduce our mortgage payment, is that refactoring?


Travel is your one splurge? Cleaners are a splurge, camps are a splurge, that much shopping is a splurge, organic food is a splurge. All trips should be cut if you want to keep the house.


How are camps a splurge? We at least need childcare, how cheap can you get worthwhile camps?