Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Well, stop being surprised by this known factor!

“Aunt Tilde, we’d love to see you next Saturday for dinner…oh, great! Glad you can make it. Will you bringing a friend?”

Problem solved.

No, it's never a surprise. They always do take the step to ask if it's ok if they bring their friends first!

Then what on Earth is the issue? If you don’t want extra guests, open your mouth and say no.

It's not an issue. Just wondering if people would consider it odd, but obviously your answer is no, it's normal. We live in different states and are a couple hours apart so it's not like a local visit either.

You’re asking us if it’s normal to bring along friends? Why?

They’re asking YOU. And you are saying yes. So clearly, it’s normal and acceptable to YOU, dingbat. Because if it wasn’t, you’d say no.

Did you really just call me a dingbat? LOL who are you and what's your issue? I have trouble imagining there are people who behave like you in real life.

Gee, oh my, someone’s asking me if they can bring a guest, and I say yes, and then they do, and I’m uncomfortable. Oh my, I feel faint, whatever shall I do the next time they ask?

NP-I don't think you'll probably ever worry about being in a situation where anyone would want to bring a guest to be in your nasty company since you're rude AF.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Dropping by for a visit in the afternoon type visit I could roll with. If meals or staying the night is involved then noooooo.

Usually these visits are very last minute, so not always a meal but sometimes yes, a meal. And no, no overnights.

I would be fine with this.

So rude

Anonymous wrote:How old? I think under 30 and if not married with kids, this isn’t odd at all. Over 30 or married and with kids, odd, but still welcome. One more person isn’t an imposition

Over 30, married with kids.

Op here and I appreciate the responses, gave me a fresh perspective. Maybe it’s a combination of things and also something I may not have considered a possibility before is that maybe they just don’t feel comfortable driving, so maybe they have their friends drive. We don’t have a fancy house and don’t live in the city or anything.

How old? I think under 30 and if not married with kids, this isn’t odd at all. Over 30 or married and with kids, odd, but still welcome. One more person isn’t an imposition

I've invited friends to holiday meals when they are from out of the country and don't have any place to celebrate. I like doing this, because I don't want my friends to be lonely but also because my husband's family can be really difficult (think one word responses to everything) and it's honestly nice to have someone to speak to other than my husband, since he always feels obligated to go off with one inaccessible family member or another and I inevitably get left with a bunch of people who don't really want to make conversation.

From what you’ve said, I don’t this is the issue, but in some cultures, this is totally normal - hosts just go with it and are genuinely delighted. It would be totally normal in my culture of origin, but I would definitely think it unusual among “regular Americans”.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Odd.

Odd to do to you. Odd for the friend.

I’d be curious what they are saying to the friend. Want to go? Pls go? I don’t even get how it comes up unless he’s visiting from far away and trying to see tons of old friends all in the same week and has to double up.

OP here and I was wondering this exact same thing! I can't imagine saying to a couple of my friends, hey I'm visiting my relative who lives in another state, want to come with me? But again, we are very different and I am more introverted.

Do they want a driving companion? How long is the route?

I like meeting people and would prob go as a friend if I knew for sure the host was OK with it.
But I’d always want to know what my friend gets out of it that they invite along a different third party every time they visit their aunt or cousin. Are they avoiding something? Bored? Can’t drive well? Can’t stand being alone in a car? Can’t carry conversations?

I'm a major extrovert and I think this is odd if this is a visit at your home. If we are all meeting at a brewery or park or something then it's usually the more is merrier

I've been invited along as wing person on family visits to keep family members on their best behavior. I would invite people to go with me to visit family (they live in a lovely vacation destination) but their home is too dirty for guests.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Well, stop being surprised by this known factor!

“Aunt Tilde, we’d love to see you next Saturday for dinner…oh, great! Glad you can make it. Will you bringing a friend?”

Problem solved.

No, it's never a surprise. They always do take the step to ask if it's ok if they bring their friends first!

Then what on Earth is the issue? If you don’t want extra guests, open your mouth and say no.

It's not an issue. Just wondering if people would consider it odd, but obviously your answer is no, it's normal. We live in different states and are a couple hours apart so it's not like a local visit either.

You’re asking us if it’s normal to bring along friends? Why?

They’re asking YOU. And you are saying yes. So clearly, it’s normal and acceptable to YOU, dingbat. Because if it wasn’t, you’d say no.

Did you really just call me a dingbat? LOL who are you and what's your issue? I have trouble imagining there are people who behave like you in real life.

Gee, oh my, someone’s asking me if they can bring a guest, and I say yes, and then they do, and I’m uncomfortable. Oh my, I feel faint, whatever shall I do the next time they ask?

It's a little odd - especially if they don't ask first. I don't mind if it's casual, but I have said no when it is a sit down meal - too much of an imposition.

Thinking this over more, perhaps you are not very interesting OP? Do you have hobbies or things to talk about, do you do activities together - or is “visiting” just sitting around rehashing family gossip and the same old family stories?

I am an introvert, but I’ve noticed my husband’s family tends to include various family friends in dinner and holiday invites and it seems to mix up the conversation and make it a more enjoyable evening.

I recall doing a lot of “visiting” when I was a kid, which meant sitting around in old people’s stuffy houses and listening to adults have the same conversation they had the prior visit. If a visit to your home is just that - sitting around chatting, maybe tea and snacks or a meal - I can see how they like to mix it up by bringing people.

Another possibility- does the person bringing extras think you need more friends? Are you single and they are setting you up?

It's odd to me and I'd also find it an imposition. I would not like it b/c it encroaches on the time I get to catch up with my relative, their attention is divided, etc.

You seem to feel the same way. Have you ever said no when they asked?