How about “no lesson, no pool”? He can sit and watch the lesson, then you head home for the day. If you can’t learn to swim safely, no pool.

Anonymous wrote:I watched a private lesson at our pool this week that was terrible. 16/17yo lifeguards do not automatically make good teachers. The kid literally learned nothing new the whole 30 mins I watched. OP I would bribe for active participation. Maybe if he does 4 lessons a week (one day of as a compromise) he gets an ice cream on slushie or something on Friday. Give him some control over which day he wants off.

This is a GREAT idea. He’d love the control. Thank you.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My kid got so much more out of 1 on 1 lessons with an amazing instructor (who also coaches special olympics) than a class.

I know but the classes really are good. And they build team community. Plus they’re basically included with the pool membership. I’m really hesitant to pay extra for this.

Why did you ask for advice if every time an experienced parent gives it to you, you just repeat endlessly "but this class is AMAZING and it's FREE?"

Because I did not ask “should we do group or 1:1 lessons?” I asked how hard to push, bribe, or give consequences. We’ve done lessons and have seen many lessons over the years and these group classes, offered every day for 45 mins, are fantastic.

I’m not asking about 1:1. I’m asking what to do with my son. Push him? Let him sit with me? Completely bribe?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My kid got so much more out of 1 on 1 lessons with an amazing instructor (who also coaches special olympics) than a class.

I know but the classes really are good. And they build team community. Plus they’re basically included with the pool membership. I’m really hesitant to pay extra for this.

Why did you ask for advice if every time an experienced parent gives it to you, you just repeat endlessly "but this class is AMAZING and it's FREE?"

I watched a private lesson at our pool this week that was terrible. 16/17yo lifeguards do not automatically make good teachers. The kid literally learned nothing new the whole 30 mins I watched. OP I would bribe for active participation. Maybe if he does 4 lessons a week (one day of as a compromise) he gets an ice cream on slushie or something on Friday. Give him some control over which day he wants off.

Anonymous wrote:I say this with a smile (in all seriousness, not meant to be snarky), but I think we can all see where OP’s son gets his stubbornness. She asked for advice, but if it doesn’t fit bribe/consequence, she’s just not interested, despite the consensus that 1:1 is the way to go, lol.

OP, for every one-on-one lesson you pay for, you can have a stick of gum! Or a sticker to put on your chart so you can pick out a bigger reward once he's swimming independently.

Anonymous wrote:
Honestly, do this the right way. Find a good one on one instructor.

I know you think your kid has a "great foundation' but actually getting from "he can sort of swim with floaties" to "he can swim confidently" is the hardest step because it requires confidence in addition to a lot of focus and awareness of what you're doing.

A lot of times this is really, really hard to accomplish in a class setting.

+1

Spend the money and your kid can swim. Save the money and he can’t, then you have a kid who can’t swim but at least you...won?

I say this with a smile (in all seriousness, not meant to be snarky), but I think we can all see where OP’s son gets his stubbornness. She asked for advice, but if it doesn’t fit bribe/consequence, she’s just not interested, despite the consensus that 1:1 is the way to go, lol.

Also, let me offer this story. My kid had swim lessons attached to summer camp and mid-way through he refused to do them, wouldn’t budge. Since he didn’t participate, he had to site alone by the side of the pool (not as a punishment, but because the camp was swimming during that hour.) I couldn’t figure it out. Why would he choose that? We have a pool; he loves the water!

Years later he told me that he didn’t like seeing the naked old guys in the dressing room and he didn’t like that the floor was wet. I know that’s not your kid’s issue because you are there, I am just offering this as a reason that my kid refused to participate that I couldn’t figure out. He had a reason; he just refused to share it.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Does he actually know how to swim? I.e can he get in pool and get around without floaties? If so I would back off. If not I would say he has to take lessons until he reaches a milestone that lets him swim on his own.

He has a fantastic foundation from just a few lessons before he quit and can sort of swim. But no, he needs supervision and floaties.

No child needs floaties. He needs a parent in the water with him at that age either way, and floaties will just hinder the swimming.

People eventually need to know how to swim. 4 year olds do not need formal lessons. I wouldn't have this power struggle with a 4 year old.

I have two-year old triplets. You bet your bum they all have floaties on even though I am in the pool with them. No way I could hold them all. They absolutely get benefits from being in the water (splashing, putting face in water, blowing bubbles etc) even with the floaties on.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Can you be in the pool with him during the class? Maybe doing what they’re doing in a different section?

Just pay for one on one.

But I think it’s weird that you are punishing him by making him sit with you rather than getting in the pool with him during the class and trying to help him learn in another area of the pool. Making him sit out will make him even more stubborn and hating of the pool.

I have a new baby. The pool is awesome because it basically includes 45 minutes of swim instruction every morning. We have done group classes in the past. This is totally different and much better. I simply don’t have the luxury to swim with him, especially when lessons are offered.

As almost everyone has said, stop forcing these groups lessons and get him the 1:1

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Can you be in the pool with him during the class? Maybe doing what they’re doing in a different section?

Just pay for one on one.

But I think it’s weird that you are punishing him by making him sit with you rather than getting in the pool with him during the class and trying to help him learn in another area of the pool. Making him sit out will make him even more stubborn and hating of the pool.

I have a new baby. The pool is awesome because it basically includes 45 minutes of swim instruction every morning. We have done group classes in the past. This is totally different and much better. I simply don’t have the luxury to swim with him, especially when lessons are offered.

Also I think 1:1 lessons are worth their weight in gold. We haven't done any this year because I didn't get my act together, but we'll do some during the winter season because my kids could use the stroke help for SURE.

So either pay for 1:1 or just accept that this isn't his summer. I think it's much easier to teach someone who is willing.

Focus on FUN swimming first. No floaties. What helped both of mine was hanging out in the shallow end and asking them to dive to get stuff off the bottom.

You can work on strokes etc next year.

Anonymous wrote:Can you be in the pool with him during the class? Maybe doing what they’re doing in a different section?

Just pay for one on one.

But I think it’s weird that you are punishing him by making him sit with you rather than getting in the pool with him during the class and trying to help him learn in another area of the pool. Making him sit out will make him even more stubborn and hating of the pool.

Do the 1:1 OP, suck up the cost. And he's not going to forfeit community by doing the 1:1 vs. group lessons, that's ridiculous. The goal is getting him to swim, he can build community later when he's playing with other kids in the pool. You're being the stubborn one here OP.