Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Just wait- you will one day find yourself in a similar place. I am in healthcare and remember when all my patients would talk about the digestive issues with me. I would think- how can this be such a big part of your life? Sadly, I am now beginning to understand. Most of you will in a few decades.

I'm not so sure. There is being careful to eat things that work for you, and there is policing the food choices of all in the vicinity. I think it's more the latter that comes off as judgmental, and is likeliest to be judged. Being smug about eating less, talking about what size you wear and for how many years, expressing disapproval of other's choices. Burger King Lady kind of behavior.

That’s not really what OP described.

"Grouchy" is an interesting term. It certainly means more than just selective.

I think some people lose a sense of smell and so they find most foods tasteless. My SIL is like this. She does not have a great sense of smell and is unable to smell anything and finds foods tasteless unless they are "piping hot". I feel that the heat serves to release more smell molecules that she can smell and only then she finds the foods appetizing.

We eat everything and cook a lot of cuisines at home. We enjoy foods. I have been eating healthy and less sugar so I am shocked that my palate has adjusted and I find many commercial foods just tasting of too much sugar or salt.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Just wait- you will one day find yourself in a similar place. I am in healthcare and remember when all my patients would talk about the digestive issues with me. I would think- how can this be such a big part of your life? Sadly, I am now beginning to understand. Most of you will in a few decades.

I'm not so sure. There is being careful to eat things that work for you, and there is policing the food choices of all in the vicinity. I think it's more the latter that comes off as judgmental, and is likeliest to be judged. Being smug about eating less, talking about what size you wear and for how many years, expressing disapproval of other's choices. Burger King Lady kind of behavior.

That’s not really what OP described.

Anonymous wrote:When we get together with extended families, it's always my mother and/or my mother-in-law whose limited tastes in food have to be worked around. There are a lot of things they don't like, and they get grouchy if that's the food being served (whether at home or at a restaurant.) And, they've since passed, but if memory serves, one of my grandmothers was like this as well. The middle aged and young adults (I'm not counting kids for this discussion) of both genders seem to have a broad palate. I'm not sure if the elderly men particularly like a lot of stuff, but they'll cheerfully eat whatever.

I'm obviously working with a limited sample size here, so I'm wondering if my experience is representative of something more generalized or if it's a luck-of-the-draw kind of thing.

Yes. Because your mother and MIL are "picky" eaters it means all elderly women are.

Anonymous wrote:Just wait- you will one day find yourself in a similar place. I am in healthcare and remember when all my patients would talk about the digestive issues with me. I would think- how can this be such a big part of your life? Sadly, I am now beginning to understand. Most of you will in a few decades.

I'm not so sure. There is being careful to eat things that work for you, and there is policing the food choices of all in the vicinity. I think it's more the latter that comes off as judgmental, and is likeliest to be judged. Being smug about eating less, talking about what size you wear and for how many years, expressing disapproval of other's choices. Burger King Lady kind of behavior.

Just wait- you will one day find yourself in a similar place. I am in healthcare and remember when all my patients would talk about the digestive issues with me. I would think- how can this be such a big part of your life? Sadly, I am now beginning to understand. Most of you will in a few decades.

Anonymous wrote:My oldest child is definitely the pickiest but my mother is a very close second. Unless it's sugary. Then she has no restrictions

This is my cousin's wife. She has diverticulitisis. She has GERD. She has food allergies. Grows faint at the very thought of ratatouille because of the peppers, tomatoes, and eggplant. But dangle a piece of raspberry pie with ice cream in front of her and it all slips away. She'll have another slice, thank you very much.

Anonymous wrote:Maybe luck of the draw. My MIL is like this (and it is so annoying) but I know plenty of other older women for whom this is not true.

Same here.

Definitely not the ussue in my family. My mom happily eats anything she doesn’t have to cook and loves being taken out to any kind of restaurant (although raw sushi is a hard sell she can still find tons even at a japenese restaurant). My aunt is a huge foodie so may wrinkle her nose at crap food but is pretty easy to please. My grandmother RIP had most of her stomach removed due to ulcer damage but still loved trying new foods and going out to eat.
My MIL will go anyplace but basically pushes the food around while she drinks. She may have some eating disorder issues.

As PPs have pointed out, there may be some gender issues—eating disorders are common in a certain age/social strata, and digestive issues like IbS are also more common in older women. But if your MIL is just a passive aggressive PITA, please don’t try to make this an older woman thing.

My MIL, who is visiting now, is the pickiest eater I know. It drives me crazy. She likes to say that she has a sensitive stomach, but I’m pretty sure she has orthorexia rooted in anxiety. She’s also got some body image issues going on. I try not to fight it, but it is tiresome to deal with. She hardly ever eats at a restaurant, which means that we have to pack food for every outing we go on. When she comes for a visit, I have to drive all around town to get the specific brand of bread, almond butter, strawberry, and frozen green beans she will eat. Every morning, she eats the same thing… toast with almond butter and cut up banana on top. In the evening, she always has a half of a a banana for her pre-bedtime snack. The only seasoning she tolerates is salt and onion powder. The only proteins she will eat are plain baked salmon, chicken, and steak. She doesn’t eat most vegetables. She will occasionally eat a very plain hamburger. She only drinks de caffeinated green tea and water.

She is also highly interested in the food other people eat. When we make sandwiches for lunch, she goes around the table asking everyone what they put in their sandwich. She wants to know what I’m cooking even though there is no way she would eat it. She’s always hanging over me when I’m in the kitchen!

Argh!!!! She’s leaving tomorrow. Thank god!!

OP, could it be food intolerance or allergy?

In my experience when older people are picky about food it's because either the food causes them to have side effects (gas), or they have a certain food intolerance or allergy.

Or the food is too chewy for them.

My mom and dad started to get really bad gas in their 70s. It's a concern.

I'm only in my 50s and have explosive diarrhea if I eat certain foods. So don't try to force them on me, especially at your house, ha.

Anonymous wrote:OP, why is this such a big deal to you? If you are being forced to make a bunch of special foods, I can undersand annoyance. But that doesn't seem to be the case here. You just seem annoyed because these women don't like to eat certain foods.

If so, why do you care? And would you be posting this if it were female teens or children? Doubt it.

What does a FEMALE human being's age have to do with picky eating? I know plenty of children, teens, MEN, and young people who have limited food choices.

So sick of the age bashing on DCUM especially women.

PP - why are you referring to women as "FEMALE?" Sounds misogynist.

Anonymous wrote:OP, why is this such a big deal to you? If you are being forced to make a bunch of special foods, I can undersand annoyance. But that doesn't seem to be the case here. You just seem annoyed because these women don't like to eat certain foods.

If so, why do you care? And would you be posting this if it were female teens or children? Doubt it.

What does a FEMALE human being's age have to do with picky eating? I know plenty of children, teens, MEN, and young people who have limited food choices.

So sick of the age bashing on DCUM especially women.

Because everyone has to tip-toe around family matriarchs when dinner time comes around. Last night it was my mother in law -- wife picked a Mexican restaurant. Instead of just saying, "no -- let's eat this other thing instead," her mom just got all passive aggressive at the restaurant. Then I had to be the sounding board for my wife's aggravation with her mother. But it's not just a one-off. We do this kind of dance with my own mother when we go on family vacations. And, like I said, it's reminiscent of people walking on eggshells for one of my grandmothers when it came to the subject of food.

I'm happy to concede it's other genders and ages in other families. But, in my family, it's the elderly women who seem to be difficult to please when it comes to food and who seem to make a point of making others aware of the unhappiness without really being very forthright about alternatives that would make them happy.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The old ladies i know only get pissy if their alcoholic beverage of choice is not available.

Yep these are my old birds here

Lol mine too. My MIL is okay for lunches/brunches as they have a bloody mary that isn't too spicy for her.