Anonymous
07/02/2021 22:30
Subject: Bizarre “heirlooms” from in-laws
I’ve been very direct with MIL over the years when she’s tried to give me things and tell me I’ve had to keep them. I’ve told her that I won’t keep anything and don’t like clutter, so if she wants an item to be saved it needs to stay at her house. I get rid of anything not currently used and won’t store it.
Anonymous
07/02/2021 09:16
Subject: Bizarre “heirlooms” from in-laws
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:What would you do in this situation?
DH’s aunt (super sweet and caring lady) recently foisted her adult daughter’s childhood Halloween costumes and dressy prom-type attire on me for my young kids to “grow into”. These items are well over 30 years old. Her daughter is in her late 30s and has no children. The catch is that the aunt told me she may want the items back in the future if her daughter has children. I don’t even want these items to borrow (I won’t use them for my kids - they’re just not my style, outdated and musty). Now do I have to store them on the off-chance she asks for them back in a few years? Or can I dispose of them and then figure out what to say if she ever does want them back? I really don’t want to hang into them. But I don’t want to hurt her feelings. My other option is to foist them on DH’s sister who has younger kids than mine. But that seems cruel.
Thoughts?
And BTW - this is a lesson to me I’m not holding onto my kids’ childhood items… no one is going to want them 30 years from now!
Learn how to say no. It's liberating.
You can start now by ringing up the aunt and telling her you appreciate the costumes but the children will not be wearing them so what would she like done with them
No, you do not lie and say you appreciate them if you do not. You need to be direct. "No thank you. Our kids do not want the costumes. Also, we do not take items that may need to be returned in the future." Any manipulations she tries you just keep repeating "no." Otherwise you leave the door open for this to continue...and it will.
Anonymous
07/02/2021 09:09
Subject: Bizarre “heirlooms” from in-laws
Anonymous wrote:Give them to your cousin. Just take them over in a box and tell her you don't have room for them, and since they're her things, she should have them and do whatever she wants with them.
My Aunt-in-law is childless and gives us all her childhood memorabilia. I have thrown out half of it.
This is me, exactly. Down the childless aunt-in-law who gives us her old shit.
Anonymous
07/02/2021 09:04
Subject: Bizarre “heirlooms” from in-laws
Anonymous wrote:What would you do in this situation?
DH’s aunt (super sweet and caring lady) recently foisted her adult daughter’s childhood Halloween costumes and dressy prom-type attire on me for my young kids to “grow into”. These items are well over 30 years old. Her daughter is in her late 30s and has no children. The catch is that the aunt told me she may want the items back in the future if her daughter has children. I don’t even want these items to borrow (I won’t use them for my kids - they’re just not my style, outdated and musty). Now do I have to store them on the off-chance she asks for them back in a few years? Or can I dispose of them and then figure out what to say if she ever does want them back? I really don’t want to hang into them. But I don’t want to hurt her feelings. My other option is to foist them on DH’s sister who has younger kids than mine. But that seems cruel.
Thoughts?
And BTW - this is a lesson to me I’m not holding onto my kids’ childhood items… no one is going to want them 30 years from now!
Learn how to say no. It's liberating.
You can start now by ringing up the aunt and telling her you appreciate the costumes but the children will not be wearing them so what would she like done with them
Anonymous
07/01/2021 22:12
Subject: Bizarre “heirlooms” from in-laws
fun story OP
My MIL gave my DH a bride of chucky doll that was hers in the 50s. It scared the sht out of both of us so we had to get rid of it before our kids saw it. We brought it to somebody's70th birthday. Everybody at the party talked about the creepy thing so it was a good conversation starter. It didn't come back home with us.
My MIL gave my DH a bride of chucky doll that was hers in the 50s. It scared the sht out of both of us so we had to get rid of it before our kids saw it. We brought it to somebody's70th birthday. Everybody at the party talked about the creepy thing so it was a good conversation starter. It didn't come back home with us.
Anonymous
07/01/2021 20:21
Subject: Bizarre “heirlooms” from in-laws
Those of you giving 29 excuses don't understand how boundary stompers operate. You just say "No." If she tries to guilt trip or manipulate you give yet another "no, thank you."
Anonymous
07/01/2021 19:10
Subject: Bizarre “heirlooms” from in-laws
Anonymous wrote:Can you say you don't have space for them or the ability to store them properly so they wouldn't get ruined?
This. Return to her.
Anonymous
06/26/2021 23:25
Subject: Bizarre “heirlooms” from in-laws
Give them to your cousin. Just take them over in a box and tell her you don't have room for them, and since they're her things, she should have them and do whatever she wants with them.
My Aunt-in-law is childless and gives us all her childhood memorabilia. I have thrown out half of it.
My Aunt-in-law is childless and gives us all her childhood memorabilia. I have thrown out half of it.
Anonymous
06/26/2021 21:25
Subject: Bizarre “heirlooms” from in-laws
"I will probably not remember you want them back once we finish with them, so you should keep them if you are saving them for Larla. The children will probably tear them up wearing them to play anyhow."
Anonymous
06/26/2021 21:23
Subject: Bizarre “heirlooms” from in-laws
"I'm a compulsive organizer and thrower-outer and don't want to chance forgetting who gave me these and throwing them out. So- thanks for the kind thought-but I'm returning them to you so this doesn't happen- as it sounds like you want Larla to have them at some point."
Anonymous
06/26/2021 13:01
Subject: Bizarre “heirlooms” from in-laws
Anonymous wrote:They will somehow fit into the 20 year fashion cycle. You will regret it if you get rid of them. But a high school drama department would love them.
I think this is the winner for the most ridiculous statement on DCUM this weekend. Well done, PP.
Anonymous
06/26/2021 12:58
Subject: Bizarre “heirlooms” from in-laws
They will somehow fit into the 20 year fashion cycle. You will regret it if you get rid of them. But a high school drama department would love them.
Anonymous
06/26/2021 12:51
Subject: Re:Bizarre “heirlooms” from in-laws
I never accept anything from anyone who wants their stuff back. I made that mistake one time after I had a child. Never again. My MIL, believed that she was sitting in a house full of treasures that everyone wanted and would cherish. She refused to purge her belongings and downsize so that she could afford to move closer to us which she claimed she wanted to do. We filled a dumpster with her belongings, took multiple trips to the dump, and donated and gave away or sold anything we could.
Anonymous
06/26/2021 02:11
Subject: Bizarre “heirlooms” from in-laws
I would never accept anything that I would be expected to return.
One of my friends brought 4 trash bags filled with clothes to my home after I had twins. My children and I had been hospitalized for some time so I thought it was a sweet gesture. Lots of friends and coworkers had done the same. She bought most of the clothes at garage sales before her child was born. She told me she didn't want the clothes back and b*tched about a mutual friend who had given her clothes then wanted them back after several years.
Two years later she called wanting the clothes back. She wasn't having another child. I had passed on everything we were done with and wouldn't had a clue as to what was hers.
She was definitely someone who liked to stir up drama and I ignored her call.
One of my friends brought 4 trash bags filled with clothes to my home after I had twins. My children and I had been hospitalized for some time so I thought it was a sweet gesture. Lots of friends and coworkers had done the same. She bought most of the clothes at garage sales before her child was born. She told me she didn't want the clothes back and b*tched about a mutual friend who had given her clothes then wanted them back after several years.
Two years later she called wanting the clothes back. She wasn't having another child. I had passed on everything we were done with and wouldn't had a clue as to what was hers.
She was definitely someone who liked to stir up drama and I ignored her call.
Anonymous
06/25/2021 12:27
Subject: Bizarre “heirlooms” from in-laws
I have family like this. You simply say, "no thank you!" If she insists you say "no, thank you!" again. Do not give in. She is using you for storage. My family operates like this. She also thinks she is giving you something of use and if she is anything like the nuts in my family there are strings attached to these awful so called gifts.