Anonymous
06/22/2021 20:43
Subject: Re:Falling out with someone - would you still congratulate
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:OP here, ok so dcum is really harsh. I asked a few friends about this situation and all agreed baby or close death they would express something due to the nature of the relationship. If the tables were turned I absolutely would say something, that’s why I was a little sad.
Some of you guys are over the top, calling me self-centered and needy good grief. Is this what you do, sit around telling people they’re awful? Good thing my post-partum is over.
You must be new around here. Can't crowdsource your problems and lash out at the responses. You also have to know DCUMers aren't your friends. They have no knowledge of you, your friendship with the ex-friend, absolutely no skin in the game like your mutuals who felt you were owed a congratulations. It's a cold world.
I’m not new to dcum, and I’m a lifelong resident of northern va. Sure, based on this feedback it’s a very cold world. And I don’t expect people to agree with me! Some said get over it and that’s totally valid advice, but there’s no need to tear me down.
Anonymous
06/22/2021 20:37
Subject: Re:Falling out with someone - would you still congratulate
Anonymous wrote:OP here, ok so dcum is really harsh. I asked a few friends about this situation and all agreed baby or close death they would express something due to the nature of the relationship. If the tables were turned I absolutely would say something, that’s why I was a little sad.
Some of you guys are over the top, calling me self-centered and needy good grief. Is this what you do, sit around telling people they’re awful? Good thing my post-partum is over.
You must be new around here. Can't crowdsource your problems and lash out at the responses. You also have to know DCUMers aren't your friends. They have no knowledge of you, your friendship with the ex-friend, absolutely no skin in the game like your mutuals who felt you were owed a congratulations. It's a cold world.
Anonymous
06/22/2021 20:32
Subject: Re:Falling out with someone - would you still congratulate
With all due respect, OP. If I knew someone for 20 years. Talked to them daily. Found them rude and unkind, told them about it and they blamed it on me so we didn't have contact at all for 18 months, I absolutely would not expect them to congratulate me since the infraction must have been big enough for us both to move on from the friendship. It's wrong for PPs to gang up on you but you must understand why some are incredulous.
Anonymous
06/22/2021 20:27
Subject: Falling out with someone - would you still congratulate
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:OP-Make the case to not congratulate this person. Explain why you wouldn’t.
I’m the one who deserves the congrats lol.
I raised this to a mutual friend saying that I was hurt this ex friend didn’t even congratulate me, she said it was normal because we haven’t spoken. Have not spoken for a year and a half. Had been friends with ex friend for 20 years.
Uh, there's a whole lot of NOPE in your post, OP. You "deserve the congrats" ugh no what a pompous attitude.
And how on earth does your ex friend know about your big success- you said you haven't spoken for a year and a half?? Lemme guess she just drifted away from you, and you have just absolutely no idea why!
I’m sorry you’re right nobody deserves a congrats. The scenario was I had a baby after multiple miscarriages and infertility. Said ex friend knew about the scenario and we share many mutual friends all of whom know about the baby. The fallout occurred because I did multiple big favors for this friend who I also spoke to on a daily basis and she was essentially mean or unkind on multiple occasions. We essentially stopped speaking when I tried communicating this and she turned it around on me.
So why, exactly, did you want or expect congratulations from this person?
Oh my god because I knew her for 20 years and we were basically like family. Jesus people.
So what have you congratulated her for, acknowledged her for or expressed your condolences for her since your friendship breakup????
P.S.
If you want people to just agree with you then just say that from beginning.
Sheesh!
Anonymous
06/22/2021 20:25
Subject: Falling out with someone - would you still congratulate
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:OP-Make the case to not congratulate this person. Explain why you wouldn’t.
I’m the one who deserves the congrats lol.
I raised this to a mutual friend saying that I was hurt this ex friend didn’t even congratulate me, she said it was normal because we haven’t spoken. Have not spoken for a year and a half. Had been friends with ex friend for 20 years.
Uh, there's a whole lot of NOPE in your post, OP. You "deserve the congrats" ugh no what a pompous attitude.
And how on earth does your ex friend know about your big success- you said you haven't spoken for a year and a half?? Lemme guess she just drifted away from you, and you have just absolutely no idea why!
I’m sorry you’re right nobody deserves a congrats. The scenario was I had a baby after multiple miscarriages and infertility. Said ex friend knew about the scenario and we share many mutual friends all of whom know about the baby. The fallout occurred because I did multiple big favors for this friend who I also spoke to on a daily basis and she was essentially mean or unkind on multiple occasions. We essentially stopped speaking when I tried communicating this and she turned it around on me.
So why, exactly, did you want or expect congratulations from this person?
Oh my god because I knew her for 20 years and we were basically like family. Jesus people.
Anonymous
06/22/2021 20:24
Subject: Re:Falling out with someone - would you still congratulate
OP here, ok so dcum is really harsh. I asked a few friends about this situation and all agreed baby or close death they would express something due to the nature of the relationship. If the tables were turned I absolutely would say something, that’s why I was a little sad.
Some of you guys are over the top, calling me self-centered and needy good grief. Is this what you do, sit around telling people they’re awful? Good thing my post-partum is over.
Some of you guys are over the top, calling me self-centered and needy good grief. Is this what you do, sit around telling people they’re awful? Good thing my post-partum is over.
Anonymous
06/22/2021 20:23
Subject: Falling out with someone - would you still congratulate
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:OP-Make the case to not congratulate this person. Explain why you wouldn’t.
I’m the one who deserves the congrats lol.
I raised this to a mutual friend saying that I was hurt this ex friend didn’t even congratulate me, she said it was normal because we haven’t spoken. Have not spoken for a year and a half. Had been friends with ex friend for 20 years.
Uh, there's a whole lot of NOPE in your post, OP. You "deserve the congrats" ugh no what a pompous attitude.
And how on earth does your ex friend know about your big success- you said you haven't spoken for a year and a half?? Lemme guess she just drifted away from you, and you have just absolutely no idea why!
I’m sorry you’re right nobody deserves a congrats. The scenario was I had a baby after multiple miscarriages and infertility. Said ex friend knew about the scenario and we share many mutual friends all of whom know about the baby. The fallout occurred because I did multiple big favors for this friend who I also spoke to on a daily basis and she was essentially mean or unkind on multiple occasions. We essentially stopped speaking when I tried communicating this and she turned it around on me.
So why, exactly, did you want or expect congratulations from this person?
Anonymous
06/22/2021 20:09
Subject: Falling out with someone - would you still congratulate
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:OP-Make the case to not congratulate this person. Explain why you wouldn’t.
I’m the one who deserves the congrats lol.
I raised this to a mutual friend saying that I was hurt this ex friend didn’t even congratulate me, she said it was normal because we haven’t spoken. Have not spoken for a year and a half. Had been friends with ex friend for 20 years.
Uh, there's a whole lot of NOPE in your post, OP. You "deserve the congrats" ugh no what a pompous attitude.
And how on earth does your ex friend know about your big success- you said you haven't spoken for a year and a half?? Lemme guess she just drifted away from you, and you have just absolutely no idea why!
I’m sorry you’re right nobody deserves a congrats. The scenario was I had a baby after multiple miscarriages and infertility. Said ex friend knew about the scenario and we share many mutual friends all of whom know about the baby. The fallout occurred because I did multiple big favors for this friend who I also spoke to on a daily basis and she was essentially mean or unkind on multiple occasions. We essentially stopped speaking when I tried communicating this and she turned it around on me.
How did it get turned around on you? That sounds like an important detail. She must see things differently.
This.
Also, it seems weird to expect congratulations from someone you're not on speaking terms with. People either want to repair the friendship or not. Your baby has nothing to do with it. It's not healthy for you still have expectations for this ex friend to support you when you're not even friends. It's coming across as extremely self centered for you think that your having a baby changes anything for your ex friend.
Anonymous
06/22/2021 11:56
Subject: Falling out with someone - would you still congratulate
No. Move on.
Anonymous
06/22/2021 09:08
Subject: Falling out with someone - would you still congratulate
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:OP-Make the case to not congratulate this person. Explain why you wouldn’t.
I’m the one who deserves the congrats lol.
I raised this to a mutual friend saying that I was hurt this ex friend didn’t even congratulate me, she said it was normal because we haven’t spoken. Have not spoken for a year and a half. Had been friends with ex friend for 20 years.
Uh, there's a whole lot of NOPE in your post, OP. You "deserve the congrats" ugh no what a pompous attitude.
And how on earth does your ex friend know about your big success- you said you haven't spoken for a year and a half?? Lemme guess she just drifted away from you, and you have just absolutely no idea why!
I’m sorry you’re right nobody deserves a congrats. The scenario was I had a baby after multiple miscarriages and infertility. Said ex friend knew about the scenario and we share many mutual friends all of whom know about the baby. The fallout occurred because I did multiple big favors for this friend who I also spoke to on a daily basis and she was essentially mean or unkind on multiple occasions. We essentially stopped speaking when I tried communicating this and she turned it around on me.
Why in the heck would you wanna congratulations from somebody said is mean and unkind and why would you expect congratulations from somebody who is mean and unkind? Are you usually this needy of a person?
Anonymous
06/22/2021 09:05
Subject: Falling out with someone - would you still congratulate
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:OP-Make the case to not congratulate this person. Explain why you wouldn’t.
I’m the one who deserves the congrats lol.
I raised this to a mutual friend saying that I was hurt this ex friend didn’t even congratulate me, she said it was normal because we haven’t spoken. Have not spoken for a year and a half. Had been friends with ex friend for 20 years.
You have a lot of nerve. You haven’t spoken with this person in over a year and a half but you expect them to reach out to congratulate you. Maybe they’ve had things that over the last year and a half that needed to be congratulated, grieved, or somehow a knowledged what about those things?
Anonymous
06/21/2021 21:39
Subject: Falling out with someone - would you still congratulate
Only if you feel like it.
Anonymous
06/21/2021 20:31
Subject: Re:Falling out with someone - would you still congratulate
OP here, I think the consensus is no. I will let it go and move on, it hurts but that’s life. Thank you to those who did say congrats on the baby.