Anonymous wrote:If he suggested opening the relationship, he's already cheated/cheating. 🙁

Anonymous wrote:Show him the statistics of STDs of those who are sexually immoral. He is openly expressing a desire to commit adultery. There are consequences to opening that door. Do your best to keep it locked shut. If he is seeking adventure, plan a romantic outing, go skinny dipping or something to dispel these thoughts. Feed him a cheeseburger and drop pickles into his mouth.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:FWIW, I’ve known many, MANY men who regretted sleeping around before getting married. My xH slept around a lot in his 20s/early 30s, and after we got married he felt really bad about it for a long time. Said it felt like he had dishonored our marriage, and that it all sucked in comparison to what we had. I have friends whose husbands have expressed similar feelings.

no man honestly thinks this … they may say it, but it’s not true.

“Boo hoo, I regret getting laid,” Yeah, right, why would a guy say that?

maybe he realizes he was basically a man-whore and feels ashamed?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:FWIW, I’ve known many, MANY men who regretted sleeping around before getting married. My xH slept around a lot in his 20s/early 30s, and after we got married he felt really bad about it for a long time. Said it felt like he had dishonored our marriage, and that it all sucked in comparison to what we had. I have friends whose husbands have expressed similar feelings.

no man honestly thinks this … they may say it, but it’s not true.

“Boo hoo, I regret getting laid,” Yeah, right, why would a guy say that?

Anonymous wrote:Sometimes the knowing that one has permission to explore is enough.

I didn’t have a whole lot of experience when my wife and I got together, she definitely did and right around the time we start having kids I started seeing my life slip away and felt bad about it. I explained how I was feeling to my wife and that this was in no way related to how I felt about her or our sex life together but I never got to do some of the stuff lots of my friends did. She understood and said that if the opportunity ever came up for casual sex with someone else it would be fine with her; she only asked that I use protection and not continue more than once for fear that it will lead to an entanglement.

The knowledge that I have a permit for screwing around is more than enough and I’ve never used it since it was issued 15 years ago.

Anonymous wrote:FWIW, I’ve known many, MANY men who regretted sleeping around before getting married. My xH slept around a lot in his 20s/early 30s, and after we got married he felt really bad about it for a long time. Said it felt like he had dishonored our marriage, and that it all sucked in comparison to what we had. I have friends whose husbands have expressed similar feelings.

Anonymous wrote:My husband had been the only partner I'd ever had. He had an affair 14 years into our marriage. I divorced him.

My god, I've had the best sex of my life since then. I had no idea what I was missing. So anyway, if your husband wants to play games with you, just know your life will be OK and perhaps even better than before.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sometimes the knowing that one has permission to explore is enough.

I didn’t have a whole lot of experience when my wife and I got together, she definitely did and right around the time we start having kids I started seeing my life slip away and felt bad about it. I explained how I was feeling to my wife and that this was in no way related to how I felt about her or our sex life together but I never got to do some of the stuff lots of my friends did. She understood and said that if the opportunity ever came up for casual sex with someone else it would be fine with her; she only asked that I use protection and not continue more than once for fear that it will lead to an entanglement.

The knowledge that I have a permit for screwing around is more than enough and I’ve never used it since it was issued 15 years ago.

Your wife is extremely patient because I'm pretty sure I would have kicked your ass to a new zip code if you started this nonsense while I was pregnant and dealing with newborns and toddlers, breastfeeding and sleepless nights etc.

+1 to the reply here.

The post above reads like it's either some guy's fantasy of what he wishes his DW had said, or if it were real, the DW is so fed up with him that she's glad to have him stop wanting sex with her.

He's trying to be touching and sweet by adding "the knowledge it was OK for me to screw around is all I needed!" I rolled my eyes so hard, they nearly popped out of my head. If this is for real, which is doubtful, he still would use it in a heartbeat if he had a real chance and he knows it.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

FWIW, I’ve known many, MANY men who regretted sleeping around before getting married. My xH slept around a lot in his 20s/early 30s, and after we got married he felt really bad about it for a long time. Said it felt like he had dishonored our marriage, and that it all sucked in comparison to what we had. I have friends whose husbands have expressed similar feelings.

I am a man, and I feel the same as your ex.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm a female, and DH is my only. I sometimes want to know what it's like to be with someone else, but I'd never do it because it would hurt DH and blow up our marriage.

you already know that you would feel upset if he did this even if you give him a hallpass, so don't do it.

Why not have a three some? Then you could be involved, too. I would hire someone, rather than pick someone up, and the reason I say this is because there is less chance that the 3rd person would turn this into something personal rather than professional. Plus, the professional would know what she's doing and how she can make it exciting for you both.

A threesome is just another form of hall pass. Why should OP do that?

You speak as if a one-time threesome would satisfy whatever OP's DH is wanting. If so--you're pretty naive. Once OP said yes to a threesome, he likely would want to do it again or, if he felt uncomfortable with his wife watching him/participating, he would just start having sex with other women without OP there. Because she said yes to the threesome, once.

It will open up the floodgates, basically, even if he swears "one time will let me work out all my curiosity and we won't do it again."

As for "exciting for you both," from OP's post it sounds as if she is the kind of person who wants sex with someone she cares about and has a history with. That's her DH. The professional basically would be a sex toy for them both. Maybe OP doesn't want that, and isn't going to be turned on by a woman whether OP is watching or participating.

I've seen these "just have a threesome to keep DH happy" posts on these forums before. They seem to assume that the DW should be OK with a threesome with a DH and another woman, as if straight women secretly are going to be just fine with, eventually turned on by, sex involving another woman. It's just not something to assume about everyone. .I think that's a male fantasy.