Anonymous wrote:Loved my wedding and regret nothing. Can’t wait to see my dd try on my wedding dress on my 10th anniversary this year!

Weird.

Early on, I regretted not just eloping. We got married in the Midwest city I grew up in. We spent a lot for there, but a fraction of what people spend here.

We went all out on the food and photography. We also had a photo booth (which was a new “thing” back then). SO MANY people that celebrated with us have passed on. It’s wonderful to have such beautiful memories of those people.

Over 10 years later, I am so glad we spent that money. It didn’t prevent us from buying a house or anything, and we didn’t go into debt.

We had a 5k wedding 20 years ago, and both of us wish we had kept the money and just eloped somewhere. Huge headache, we were paying for the whole thing (not the parents), and it was stressful.

Loved my wedding and regret nothing. Can’t wait to see my dd try on my wedding dress on my 10th anniversary this year!

"So much money" is relative. Most people wouldn't think my parents spent a lot 17 years ago for my wedding, but it was a huge stretch for them. I thought it was elegant and beautiful, and I have such amazing memories from that day. It remains the only day that our dearest loved ones and friends from both sides, husband and mine, got together and that's such a unique thing. Shortly after our wedding, several of our older relatives passed away. The photos from that day are so dear to me.

Anonymous wrote:Why do people buy luxury cars?

Why do people buy expensive jewelry?

Why do people go to fancy restaurants?

Why do people pay for private school?

Etc.

Yep. It’s called choices.

Anonymous wrote:Because buying food and drink and paying people decent wage to serve it to 100 people and clean up after is expensive and we had 100 people we wanted to celebrate with.

Because my parents offered to pay for a chunk of it and if I said no they weren't going to offer to give it to me for a house or something else.

Because now that some of the people who were at the wedding have died I'm glad to have the memories and photographs of us having fun together.

Because I'm in a same-sex marriage and 20 years ago I wouldn't have been able to have a legal wedding at all and I wanted to make my guests' first gay wedding a good memory.

Because it stimulates the economy better if I spend money than if I leave it in the bank.

Because there are enough sad things in the world it was nice to have a happy day.

I don't think people should feel forced to have a wedding they don't want or to spend money they don't have. But I had the money and I spent it on things we liked and why not?

Awww honey, no!!! I'm all for weddings but pls don't use this justification...invest in a small business or something

And do you know that your parents wouldn't have kicked that money towards a down payment?? As a parent I find that hard to believe

Because buying food and drink and paying people decent wage to serve it to 100 people and clean up after is expensive and we had 100 people we wanted to celebrate with.

Because my parents offered to pay for a chunk of it and if I said no they weren't going to offer to give it to me for a house or something else.

Because now that some of the people who were at the wedding have died I'm glad to have the memories and photographs of us having fun together.

Because I'm in a same-sex marriage and 20 years ago I wouldn't have been able to have a legal wedding at all and I wanted to make my guests' first gay wedding a good memory.

Because it stimulates the economy better if I spend money than if I leave it in the bank.

Because there are enough sad things in the world it was nice to have a happy day.

I don't think people should feel forced to have a wedding they don't want or to spend money they don't have. But I had the money and I spent it on things we liked and why not?

I forgot to mention the influence of wedding industry advertising.

A lot of people have these expensive weddings just to show off--even when they really can't afford it. Same goes for many luxury purchases.

You could substitute bar miztvahs also.

I think some people are insecure or status conscious. They want to impress their friends, at a time that they should be focusing on making special memories (which is not necessarily related to money).

It has cultural aspects also (like Asian weddings).

Why do people build McMansions?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Ugh I did. I wish I didn’t. I’m so embarrassed by it. But it’s over. My DH loved it. My parents loved it.

Define "big." I spent an average of maybe $50-$60k on each daughter's wedding. Is that considered big? It seemed like money well spent. They were happy.

Well considering that the average Household Income for a family of four is about 60$, yes, that's pretty big to spend two year's income on two days for two kids.

Anonymous wrote:I'm baffled by people who are baffled by why anyone would have a big wedding. We wanted to throw an awesome party for our friends and family. Isn't that enough?

If you don't want that, that's totally fine by me. But who is really, truly puzzled by why people do it? Do you wonder why people throw holiday parties, go out to dinner on their birthdays, or throw celebrations for their graduating children, too?

If somebody with an average HHI were to blow 20K on a Christmas party I would indeed be puzzled by it.

You mean between the grinding of education, endless homework and graduate school, those crazy 9-9 days making corporate america rich, and raising children / taking care of elders in middle age, we are not even allowed to have one great party?

Anonymous wrote:We had a $10k 80 person wedding. It was a fun party that nobody went in debt over. Was much more fun than some of the very expensive ones I've attended over the years.

Spend whatever you want, but don't be silly enough to take on debt to throw a party for others.

This, for sure. No one should ever go in debt for a wedding.

And money doesn't mean everything. I've been to $100k weddings that were ho-hum and $10k weddings that were a blast. Everything depends on the people and the "vibe."