Only well-off people can be lazy and get away with it. You got to have the money to outsource. Truly blessed. When poors become lazy they get featured on "Hoarders".

Anonymous wrote:Someone might say it about me. But I have issues they aren't privy to and am doing my best under the circumstances.

Same. I suppose I'm "lazy". I suffer from chronic fatigue and depression. I have very limited energy. I spend at least half of my life in bed. I do work, and I'm good at what I do. But I freelance, so I can work on my own time. I'm upfront with my clients about my issues and keep them in the loop when need extra time to do things. I own my home and take care of it. I don't have kids and tend not to have long term relationships because I know that I can't put in the time/effort that's necessary. I do occasionally need financial help from family, but luckily they're able to provide it and are understanding since I'm doing the best I can. But yeah, I'm sure a lot of people would see me as lazy.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Someone might say it about me. But I have issues they aren't privy to and am doing my best under the circumstances.

I have a neighbor whose wife sounds like this. He’s a successful guy, brings in like a million a year, spends lots of time with his kids and has a big group of friends, all the rest. His wife meanwhile quit working years ago and is always “under the weather” so apparently just sleeps all the time. She seems perfectly normal whenever I do see her out. She has maids and nannies to do everything at home, so I’m not sure what’s so draining. We thought she was a closet drunk or an addict, but I’m told it’s all “mental health” related.

I am sure this is hard to understand but I have a very good friend that you could be describing. It truly is grippingly depression she has battled most of her life. She does not want to be this way. When she is in a good place you could not ask for a better person, friend, helper. She is upbeat, involved, beautifully turned out. When the depression comes back she cannot function and very little interaction.

Lovely family and dc all doing well but I am sure it has not been an easy thing to live. Thankfully her DC and DH love her and stand by her. Who knows what the neighbors think.

But, yes, some people are lazy!

my 7 year old son - he runs off whenever i give him chores (emptying the dishwasher/recycling bins, folding his clothes, vacuuming his room) and takes long bathroom breaks in between.

Anonymous wrote:Someone might say it about me. But I have issues they aren't privy to and am doing my best under the circumstances.

I have a neighbor whose wife sounds like this. He’s a successful guy, brings in like a million a year, spends lots of time with his kids and has a big group of friends, all the rest. His wife meanwhile quit working years ago and is always “under the weather” so apparently just sleeps all the time. She seems perfectly normal whenever I do see her out. She has maids and nannies to do everything at home, so I’m not sure what’s so draining. We thought she was a closet drunk or an addict, but I’m told it’s all “mental health” related.

My depression tells me I'm this person. When I have free time, I use it to lay on the couch and watch TV or sleep. I do feed my family every night, but I make frozen or really easy meals. I do the bare minimum at my job - doing what's expected of me but not as much as I'm capable of. I've been planning to organize and redecorate our home for a year now; I'm home all the time, I have no excuse. Intellectually I realize it's my depression that is robbing me of motivation, but I feel like I'm just lazy and useless.

Anonymous wrote:Someone might say it about me. But I have issues they aren't privy to and am doing my best under the circumstances.

This is always the case.

Anonymous wrote:Someone might say it about me. But I have issues they aren't privy to and am doing my best under the circumstances.

I know someone like this. But in her case, her joy is yelling at people and complaining - the landscaping company, whatever worker she has at the house. It's like she "finally made it" (well, her husband did) and she always wanted a staff to yell at, or it makes her feel more important, or something. Very odd. Not saying you do that, but your post reminded me of her. She literally does nothing all day.

My XH was the laziest. Never lifted a finger around the house, complained about how his laundry was done or how clean the kitchen was. Sat on his butt while I took care of the yardwork. (We both worked full time making similar salaries). Now that he's remarried he actually has to be a man and do some work around the house because his wife is very submissive and their relationship is definitely more along the traditional gender roles. I LOVE seeing him actually doing stuff and almost wrecked my car when I saw him mowing their lawn(!).

His dad (my XFIL) is the second laziest. He retired and my XMIL worked for a few more years. He doesn't do anything, their house is literally falling apart around them and she does everything. I should have realized before I married my XH what his role model was.

I find it telling that someone loves them enough to bear their burden - parents, spouse, children. They are blessed because someone is bringing them breakfast in bed, cooking for them, giving them money, taking them to cruises and resorts.

My question to all of you is - do you have someone in your life who will take care of you like this? If "No", then why not?

BTW - I am a spoiled lazy human but my family does not think so.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think I might be that person. I work at a responsible job but have fallen far short of my potential.

Troll.

You need to go look up the definition of troll and stop using that word until you actually know what it means.

Anonymous wrote:My husband, hands down. He hasn't held a job in years and only wants to work on his hobbies and do odd jobs for money, but won't help out around the house and barely helps with the kids. He used to out earn me by at least double, but he says he's done with working. He's not even 40 yet. He doesn't seem depressed. He does nothing all day while I work, usually simultaneously helping my youngest with online school, take kids to soccer, then make dinner, etc, put kids to bed, then he wants sex, and then gets upset with me because I'm not enthusiastic enough during it. I hate to have to divorce, but looks like I'm going to need to for my own sanity.

I was really relieved when I got to the end of your post and saw that you are thinking seriously about divorce. Your situation sounds miserable and this guy does not deserve you.

Someone might say it about me. But I have issues they aren't privy to and am doing my best under the circumstances.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Spoiled and lazy are different things.
My ex was so lazy he wouldn't bend down to put on his shoes. If he couldn't step into a shoe, he wouldn't go out. He'd simply not eat because he was too lazy to cook. If I cooked for him, and if I asked him to do the dishes (he'd do nothing without being asked), he'd wash the exact items that he used. After awhile, he stopped eating when I cooked because he didn't want to do even that. His idea of sex is lying on his back and telling his partner to hop on.

He wasn't spoiled at all though. Grew up very poor in Latin America and had a rough, traumatic childhood. He's done well financially but is a very angry person.

+1

I think anger and deprivation has a TON to do with it - resulting in control issues. MIL grew up poor and has tremendous issues around food (feels shameful for ever having leftovers, and will only order half a plate) and messes (pretends they don't exist), etc. It is kind of fascinating how different people handle poverty. In MIL's case, I am fairly sure there was abuse, too - made to feel useless, and treated that way. In a way it is sad, but grown adults need professional help to learn that they can't try to inflict their pain and issues on other people.

Also can't be bothered unless it is "her idea"; and the one time DH asked her to watch the kids (she is local) - I precooked a fresh lasagna, fresh chicken and veggies, dish, and one other dish (can't recall now) and she couldn't be bothered to heat anything up in the microwave for the kids. Also, couldn't be bothered to open the door for the dogs to go out (we have a fence, so it is literally just opening the door). Television first, all else second. Very strange way to live.

My friend's ex husband is the worst person I know. No job, was unable to be a SAHD or contribute around the house due to addiction. She had to drop the kids off at grandma's every day while she worked because he couldn't be relied upon to be sober enough to watch his own kids.