Anonymous
Post 06/10/2021 11:42     Subject: Re:How much does religion matter with regard to your kids’ future spouses
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I care a lot about the spouse's and grandchildren's religion, but my kids will be the ones picking their spouses based on what matters to them and will also be the ones raising their children.

By the time someone is old enough to be selecting a spouse, they are their own person with their own priorities and hassling them won't be productive. I just hope that my kids' experience growing up in our religion and community will be sufficiently warm, positive, fulfilling, and meaningful to make them want to replicate it for their own children.

Jewish.


Same. My job is to raise them with my values and try to make them attractive. Their job is to figure out how they want to live their lives. The time for influencing them on this is while they are children, so we make Judaism a big and hopefully happy part of their lives.

So it is not so much whether or not your child married someone religious, but whether or not they have the same ethnicity

What? I am the original PP of this subthread and I have no idea how you could possibly infer that from any of the posts. I would be perfectly happy for my children to marry converts to Judaism, of any ethnic background. I myself am a convert to Judaism with an ethnically mixed family tree.
Anonymous
Post 06/10/2021 11:41     Subject: How much does religion matter with regard to your kids’ future spouses
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:My (formerly) Christian daughter met a Jewish man and converted. He’s wonderful and I could not be more pleased with my son in law. He’s kind, professional, handsome, family-oriented, loving, etc. If I had insisted on her husband being Christian, it would have been ridiculous, because you don’t choose who you fall in love with. I know his parents would definitely have preferred he marry a woman from a Jewish family, but they treat my daughter well.

Why is it always the woman who must convert?


I don’t know. It’s a choice though. She didn’t have to marry him, she had a choice. She decided it was what she wanted in life. Men and women can both make decisions about their lives and parents should respect their decisions, as long as it’s safe/legal/sane and makes them happy. Her husband took a pretty large battle on with his family by marrying a woman that didn’t come from a Jewish family, so it’s not like he had it easy. So far so good. Bring on the grandchildren I say.
Anonymous
Post 06/10/2021 11:33     Subject: Re:How much does religion matter with regard to your kids’ future spouses
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I care a lot about the spouse's and grandchildren's religion, but my kids will be the ones picking their spouses based on what matters to them and will also be the ones raising their children.

By the time someone is old enough to be selecting a spouse, they are their own person with their own priorities and hassling them won't be productive. I just hope that my kids' experience growing up in our religion and community will be sufficiently warm, positive, fulfilling, and meaningful to make them want to replicate it for their own children.

Jewish.


Same. My job is to raise them with my values and try to make them attractive. Their job is to figure out how they want to live their lives. The time for influencing them on this is while they are children, so we make Judaism a big and hopefully happy part of their lives.

So it is not so much whether or not your child married someone religious, but whether or not they have the same ethnicity
Anonymous
Post 06/10/2021 10:31     Subject: Re:How much does religion matter with regard to your kids’ future spouses
Anonymous wrote:I care a lot about the spouse's and grandchildren's religion, but my kids will be the ones picking their spouses based on what matters to them and will also be the ones raising their children.

By the time someone is old enough to be selecting a spouse, they are their own person with their own priorities and hassling them won't be productive. I just hope that my kids' experience growing up in our religion and community will be sufficiently warm, positive, fulfilling, and meaningful to make them want to replicate it for their own children.

Jewish.


Same. My job is to raise them with my values and try to make them attractive. Their job is to figure out how they want to live their lives. The time for influencing them on this is while they are children, so we make Judaism a big and hopefully happy part of their lives.
Anonymous
Post 06/10/2021 07:16     Subject: How much does religion matter with regard to your kids’ future spouses
Anonymous wrote:Yes, since you asked, but I'd rather stay out of it, which is more important. We are not religious at all.
I don't see my kids getting together and staying together with someone who is religious.


That’s what my atheist in-laws thought. Now DH is in leadership in our church. Boy are the in-laws surprised!
Anonymous
Post 06/10/2021 07:09     Subject: How much does religion matter with regard to your kids’ future spouses
Anonymous wrote:My (formerly) Christian daughter met a Jewish man and converted. He’s wonderful and I could not be more pleased with my son in law. He’s kind, professional, handsome, family-oriented, loving, etc. If I had insisted on her husband being Christian, it would have been ridiculous, because you don’t choose who you fall in love with. I know his parents would definitely have preferred he marry a woman from a Jewish family, but they treat my daughter well.

Why is it always the woman who must convert?
Anonymous
Post 06/10/2021 00:08     Subject: How much does religion matter with regard to your kids’ future spouses
My (formerly) Christian daughter met a Jewish man and converted. He’s wonderful and I could not be more pleased with my son in law. He’s kind, professional, handsome, family-oriented, loving, etc. If I had insisted on her husband being Christian, it would have been ridiculous, because you don’t choose who you fall in love with. I know his parents would definitely have preferred he marry a woman from a Jewish family, but they treat my daughter well.
Anonymous
Post 06/09/2021 22:38     Subject: Re:How much does religion matter with regard to your kids’ future spouses
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Not at all. And we are regular churchgoers. What matters to me is kindness, generosity, honesty and that they're always in each other's corner.


So it won't bother you if they won't go to church with you? If they don't celebrate Christmas? If they ask that you NOT send christmas gifts?


send them anyhow, if it makes you feel good. They can give them away, if they don't want them.
Anonymous
Post 06/09/2021 20:40     Subject: Re:How much does religion matter with regard to your kids’ future spouses
Anonymous wrote:Not at all. And we are regular churchgoers. What matters to me is kindness, generosity, honesty and that they're always in each other's corner.


So it won't bother you if they won't go to church with you? If they don't celebrate Christmas? If they ask that you NOT send christmas gifts?
Anonymous
Post 06/09/2021 16:45     Subject: Re:How much does religion matter with regard to your kids’ future spouses
Not at all. And we are regular churchgoers. What matters to me is kindness, generosity, honesty and that they're always in each other's corner.
Anonymous
Post 06/09/2021 16:15     Subject: How much does religion matter with regard to your kids’ future spouses
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:It will only matter if they are extremely "religious" and associated with an organization/theology that does not support women or LGBTQ+. Otherwise, we believe all religions have the same purpose and are very open minded.


Same.


Same - any religion or no religion is fine as long as tolerant. Although tbh I would be shocked if DC did get involved with someone who was non-tolerant.
Anonymous
Post 06/09/2021 16:12     Subject: How much does religion matter with regard to your kids’ future spouses
Anonymous wrote:Yes, since you asked, but I'd rather stay out of it, which is more important. We are not religious at all.
I don't see my kids getting together and staying together with someone who is religious.


Same. We are non-religious. I plan to stay out of it unless views are extreme.
Anonymous
Post 06/09/2021 16:07     Subject: Re:How much does religion matter with regard to your kids’ future spouses
Anonymous wrote:We are jewish and I would feel like my children are disowning me if they did not marry within the religion. My son dated a non-jewish girl in high school and it took a lot of self control to not say anything to him about it. Nobody in my or my husband's extended family has ever married outside the religion. No reason to start now.


I can't fathom controlling my kid's life that much.
Anonymous
Post 06/09/2021 15:03     Subject: How much does religion matter with regard to your kids’ future spouses
I'd be upset about an evangelical christian a practicing mormon or any other religion that taught my daughter was subservient to her husband
Anonymous
Post 06/09/2021 14:48     Subject: Re:How much does religion matter with regard to your kids’ future spouses
Honest answer. I would be disappointed if my kids had married evangelical Christians. I grew up in the southern Baptist cult and wouldn’t want my grandkids to go through what I did. I still consider myself a Christian. I am fine with any faith path other than the creepy, culty, controlling ones.