Anonymous wrote:We are in a similar situation. Up until this year my DD age 15, has been top of her class. She is smart and she is very capable, but this year has been bizarre. Efficiency is dismal. We have a messed up combination of what seems like procrastination/time management/day dreaming and perfectionism going on. For years I've been certain she has OCD, but it seemed very manageable. The pandemic has brought the OCD to a whole new level. The only way she has gotten stuff done this year is by sitting with her at the kitchen table, and reeling her back in when she starts checking out. Stuff that should take an hour, is taking 9- 10 hours to get it right by her standards. Crazy as I've never been involved in her getting work done before. Watching her work is concerning. Can one have both OCD and ADHD? Not sure what help to seek either, when anything she manages to get in is 90% or higher. Just we have a crap load of zeros too for the stuff she ran out of time on, 3/4 done but won't submit.

Anonymous wrote:DD age 14, currently has F’s in four of her five classes. She is very smart. It’s not an issue of comprehension, she just doesn’t do her assignments on time and gets very far behind. This has always been an issue, but her grades have never been this bad.
I want to get help for her someone who can work with her on time management skills, and overcoming procrastination, but who does this? She doesn’t need a tutor and this really doesn’t seem like the kind of thing a therapist does. Who if anyone provides the kind of help we are looking for?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:NP. Executive function coaches cost over $100 an hour. We can’t afford that. Children’s told us 15-18 months before my kid can be seen. All other testers don’t take insurance. Only rich people deserve to be helped.

I am trying to help my kid with executive function type tips and strategies. It’s exhausting and demoralizing.

OP here. This is my issue as well.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:NP. Executive function coaches cost over $100 an hour. We can’t afford that. Children’s told us 15-18 months before my kid can be seen. All other testers don’t take insurance. Only rich people deserve to be helped.

I am trying to help my kid with executive function type tips and strategies. It’s exhausting and demoralizing.

OP here. This is my issue as well.

Anonymous wrote:NP. Executive function coaches cost over $100 an hour. We can’t afford that. Children’s told us 15-18 months before my kid can be seen. All other testers don’t take insurance. Only rich people deserve to be helped.

I am trying to help my kid with executive function type tips and strategies. It’s exhausting and demoralizing.

Anonymous wrote:Likely inattentive adhd exacerbated by remote learning. My dd has adhd, and it only become apparent when she started high school. We monitored her school work like a hawk, but she still couldn't get stuff turned in.
So that insurance covers it, bring her to pediatrician asap, tell dr.her symptoms and get referral to psychologist and/or therapist. Then get diagnosis from psychologist and probably meds, and get written order for school evaluation for IEP and/or 504 plan.
Do it immediately, because it only gets worse

Anonymous wrote:A tutor. You need to take charge. You need to make sure she gets to each class and participates and monitor the homework/due date and sit with her if necessary to get it done. She needs support. Also, try therapy in case its depression.

Do not wipe the slate clean and pretend nothing is happening.

Anonymous wrote:OP - just to reassure you, you are not alone this year. I am a HS teacher and I have a lot of students with this problem, and my own 15 year old has been slowly sinking all year. I attribute a lot of it to the developmental age of young teens and the fact that they have been working alone all year, rather than surrounded by peers and being monitored by an adult other than their parents.

In normal times, if I gave an explanation of a task in class and then set kids loose to work on it, about 1/4 would have been paying attention and gotten started. Then slowly there would be a ripple across the room or within groups of "oh, we are doing something" and "what are we doing?" and "how do we do this?" until there are just a handful of students not working. Then the teacher is circulating and can prompt students with "why haven't you started yet?" and address individual problems. When everyone is working on a thing, it is easier for students to keep working on the thing (because clearly, now is the time to do the thing.) They get positive social feedback from doing the same thing as everyone, they can get support from peers if they need it, and they can support others (boosting their own self-confidence).

This year, that whole process is broken. Kids are left on their own to provide their own executive functioning and positive feedback system. They can't glance around at peers and get a clue about something they need help with. They definitely don't want to call attention to themselves by asking an actual question of the teacher. Sometimes they actually do know what is going on, but they are doubting themselves and don't get feedback that they are on the right track, so they stop. Some students may have fallen into a negative feedback loop - where efforts in earlier quarters didn't pay off with top grades, so they doubt themselves and second guess themselves and don't turn in work, which makes worse grades, which makes them freeze even more. Adult brains think it is a simple problem to solve (just do the thing), but smushy teen brains which are trying to figure out who they are and which don't have fully functioning prefrontal cortexes yet, just can't do it on their own.

I think that things will get better for everyone next year, in person. But I also think that this year has exposed some anxiety and ADD/ADHD issues for some students that they may have been able to work around in normal times, but now they need more support to get back on track.

Anonymous wrote:OP - just to reassure you, you are not alone this year. I am a HS teacher and I have a lot of students with this problem, and my own 15 year old has been slowly sinking all year. I attribute a lot of it to the developmental age of young teens and the fact that they have been working alone all year, rather than surrounded by peers and being monitored by an adult other than their parents.

In normal times, if I gave an explanation of a task in class and then set kids loose to work on it, about 1/4 would have been paying attention and gotten started. Then slowly there would be a ripple across the room or within groups of "oh, we are doing something" and "what are we doing?" and "how do we do this?" until there are just a handful of students not working. Then the teacher is circulating and can prompt students with "why haven't you started yet?" and address individual problems. When everyone is working on a thing, it is easier for students to keep working on the thing (because clearly, now is the time to do the thing.) They get positive social feedback from doing the same thing as everyone, they can get support from peers if they need it, and they can support others (boosting their own self-confidence).

This year, that whole process is broken. Kids are left on their own to provide their own executive functioning and positive feedback system. They can't glance around at peers and get a clue about something they need help with. They definitely don't want to call attention to themselves by asking an actual question of the teacher. Sometimes they actually do know what is going on, but they are doubting themselves and don't get feedback that they are on the right track, so they stop. Some students may have fallen into a negative feedback loop - where efforts in earlier quarters didn't pay off with top grades, so they doubt themselves and second guess themselves and don't turn in work, which makes worse grades, which makes them freeze even more. Adult brains think it is a simple problem to solve (just do the thing), but smushy teen brains which are trying to figure out who they are and which don't have fully functioning prefrontal cortexes yet, just can't do it on their own.

I think that things will get better for everyone next year, in person. But I also think that this year has exposed some anxiety and ADD/ADHD issues for some students that they may have been able to work around in normal times, but now they need more support to get back on track.