Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Buddy, you know your love best. Dont stress about this too much. My husband bought a beautiful ring. I would have said yes if it was made out of a twist tie. Now we are older and both work with our hands a lot, and our wedding rings are on a carabiner that hangs on a hook. Congrats on deciding to marry her.

This.

Ignore the friend.

Completely agree with the above!
- a woman who adores gemstones and collects jewelry

OP, ask your girlfriend. I was great working on finding the ring with my DH and didn't care about a surprise proposal with a ring. He proposed first, we looked for a ring second.

My friend's fiance asked me what kind of ring I thought she wanted--I told him she definitely didn't want one that cost 3 months worth of salary and that she would appreciate going together to pick one out. And that's what they did, and she was thrilled.

We were in our late 20s and early 30s, so not 22 year olds.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Buy the ring you want to buy. I bought my wife a 1.8 carat ring and we have not yet met a friend or coworker with a larger one. We make good money and could have easily gone bigger but I’m really glad we didn’t. There have been several awkward moments where one or the other of us has felt like it is too big or showy (eg her bosses boss has a smaller ring)

What?!

My ring is 2.5 ct and it's on the smaller side when compared to others in my circle. But we don't go around comparing, it's just something I've noticed. It also really has no bearing on income or wealth. How could there be awkward moments? I think you're imagining this.

My next ring (upgrade) will be 3 ct. Five year anniversary coming up so maybe we'll upgrade for that.

Yes, you do silently compare if you notice your ring is smaller than your circle of friends. You must be young and materialistic because as you age, diamond size doesn't matter anymore. I have a 1.5 ring and could have upgraded a long time ago but I love the ring my husband proposed with 25 years ago.

Seriously! I'm in my 40s and don't even wear my rings anymore because my fingers got bigger after my second child and I haven't gotten around to resizing them yet.

I'm the one who chose my ring together with my husband. According to the shop I bought it at, it's still a one of a kind, the designer has never made the same ring for anyone else. That makes me so happy!

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Buy the ring you want to buy. I bought my wife a 1.8 carat ring and we have not yet met a friend or coworker with a larger one. We make good money and could have easily gone bigger but I’m really glad we didn’t. There have been several awkward moments where one or the other of us has felt like it is too big or showy (eg her bosses boss has a smaller ring)

What?!

My ring is 2.5 ct and it's on the smaller side when compared to others in my circle. But we don't go around comparing, it's just something I've noticed. It also really has no bearing on income or wealth. How could there be awkward moments? I think you're imagining this.

My next ring (upgrade) will be 3 ct. Five year anniversary coming up so maybe we'll upgrade for that.

Oh, inb4 someone calls me fat- I'm a size 0 or 2. I have long slender fingers (ring size 5). This comes up on every thread about carat size. 2 ct is not gaudy!

You seem a little defensive about your ring and like an incredibly insecure person, but....

that's great that you're wealthy and have wealthy friends and are so materialistic that you look at other people's rings and compare them to your own on the sly. Really, really great. Good for you, OP. Like, really good for you.


(hopefully that made you feel a little bit better about yourself, sounds like you need it). And if your husband buying you a bigger ring helps you feel even MORE better about yourself, then go for it, by all means. Whatever makes you feel a little more confident in yourself, sounds good to me. It makes me sad that you're this insecure, honestly.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Buy a lab grown diamond. They are exactly identical in composition to mined diamonds. And they don’t have all the blood-diamond problems.

A compromise on your ring: get a 1.25 or 1.5 and get a halo of smaller stones around it.

Halos are very unfashionable at the moment.

Hidden halos are VERY fashionable, though. Funny enough, my ring from 10+ years ago has a hidden halo. I started a trend, LOL

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:1.5 is a really nice size.
2 might tip into gawdy.
What are the other stats on the rings.
Size isn’t everything.

OP here. The ring I’m looking at is 1.5 carats. Ideal cut, F color, and VVS1 clarity.

Sounds beautiful. Personally, I’d rather have 1.98 carats f color VS1. More bang for your buck.

Same!

10 carats.

Or go home.

When I was searching for rings to propose 17 years ago, I got input directly from her. She wanted 2.0 carats, which implied that she might be one of those high maintenance, spoiled, type of wife, even though her personality was/is exactly the opposite. I got her the ring she wanted, and we remain madly in love to this day. She is hotter than ever and I can't get enough of her. The ring was a great investment and as long as she is happy, I could care less what anybody thinks.

Anonymous wrote:Buy the ring you want to buy. I bought my wife a 1.8 carat ring and we have not yet met a friend or coworker with a larger one. We make good money and could have easily gone bigger but I’m really glad we didn’t. There have been several awkward moments where one or the other of us has felt like it is too big or showy (eg her bosses boss has a smaller ring)

#projection. The only person who thinks this scenario is awkward = you. I’m sure her boss’s boss could’ve afforded a much bigger ring, but everyone has different financial priorities / things they care about. One of the reasons why I’m so glad I left the Midwest after living there for a few years was that everyone there thinks “bigger is better,” and that’s just not my scene. DC is much more understated. Millionaires driving twenty year old Volvos are my people.

Anonymous wrote:Let your girlfriend pick out her own ring, please. Propose with a cheap CZ and tell her that you would like to choose a ring with her input so that you know it's something she loves. I am SO GLAD my husband did it this way. I got the ring of my dreams.

Yes!

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:1.5 is a really nice size.
2 might tip into gawdy.
What are the other stats on the rings.
Size isn’t everything.

OP here. The ring I’m looking at is 1.5 carats. Ideal cut, F color, and VVS1 clarity.

Sounds beautiful. Personally, I’d rather have 1.98 carats f color VS1. More bang for your buck.

Either of these would raise serious questions for me about your judgment.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Buy the ring you want to buy. I bought my wife a 1.8 carat ring and we have not yet met a friend or coworker with a larger one. We make good money and could have easily gone bigger but I’m really glad we didn’t. There have been several awkward moments where one or the other of us has felt like it is too big or showy (eg her bosses boss has a smaller ring)

What?!

My ring is 2.5 ct and it's on the smaller side when compared to others in my circle. But we don't go around comparing, it's just something I've noticed. It also really has no bearing on income or wealth. How could there be awkward moments? I think you're imagining this.

My next ring (upgrade) will be 3 ct. Five year anniversary coming up so maybe we'll upgrade for that.

You live in an alternate universe.

And a sad one.

What finger size does she have? A 1.5 carat on a size 3 finger looks different than a 1.5 carat on a size 6.

What industry or social circle is she in? Consider whether a ring too large may be inappropriate for her workplace.

Can you return or swap the ring? Some places allow a 30-day refund or exchange policy.

If you can afford a 2 carat ring or 1.75-1.8c ring, and you can exchange it, I would go bigger and let her decide if she wants to go smaller.

If you can’t afford a larger ring, then there’s no question, just get her what you can afford and she’ll love it.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Buddy, you know your love best. Dont stress about this too much. My husband bought a beautiful ring. I would have said yes if it was made out of a twist tie. Now we are older and both work with our hands a lot, and our wedding rings are on a carabiner that hangs on a hook. Congrats on deciding to marry her.

This.

Ignore the friend.

+100

The most important choice is the partner, not the jewel! She is the true Diamond in the rough, demonstrate that you understand it however is most meaningful to you two. Wish you the best!