Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If my kid is cut or demoted, the right thing is to focus on finding new opportunities, e.g., tryouts with other clubs. You don't want to have your kid get injured in a game for the club that just cut him and not being able to tryout elsewhere. If he has an offer in hand and landed elsewhere, sure, he can play with his old team to get extra touches, but there is no guarantee that the coach will give him meaningful minutes.

I think there is no right or wrong thing to do in this case except not to sabotage the team like leaving them hanging for a goalkeeper at the last minute.
By all means if your child is a goalkeeper who was cut you do not have to play but you should give the team as much notice as you can. If they tell you you were cut today and the tournament is Saturday that's their fault but don't just not show up.

to me that depends, did they give enough notice that the kid could try out elsewhere or did they get the news after other clubs were done with playoffs? If it's the latter, the coach better have a penny and a spare set of gloves

So if a club did not give you enough notice to try out at other clubs it's a bad club? Tryouts are basically done.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If my kid is cut or demoted, the right thing is to focus on finding new opportunities, e.g., tryouts with other clubs. You don't want to have your kid get injured in a game for the club that just cut him and not being able to tryout elsewhere. If he has an offer in hand and landed elsewhere, sure, he can play with his old team to get extra touches, but there is no guarantee that the coach will give him meaningful minutes.

I think there is no right or wrong thing to do in this case except not to sabotage the team like leaving them hanging for a goalkeeper at the last minute.
By all means if your child is a goalkeeper who was cut you do not have to play but you should give the team as much notice as you can. If they tell you you were cut today and the tournament is Saturday that's their fault but don't just not show up.

to me that depends, did they give enough notice that the kid could try out elsewhere or did they get the news after other clubs were done with playoffs? If it's the latter, the coach better have a penny and a spare set of gloves

So if a club did not give you enough notice to try out at other clubs it's a bad club? Tryouts are basically done.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If my kid is cut or demoted, the right thing is to focus on finding new opportunities, e.g., tryouts with other clubs. You don't want to have your kid get injured in a game for the club that just cut him and not being able to tryout elsewhere. If he has an offer in hand and landed elsewhere, sure, he can play with his old team to get extra touches, but there is no guarantee that the coach will give him meaningful minutes.

I think there is no right or wrong thing to do in this case except not to sabotage the team like leaving them hanging for a goalkeeper at the last minute.
By all means if your child is a goalkeeper who was cut you do not have to play but you should give the team as much notice as you can. If they tell you you were cut today and the tournament is Saturday that's their fault but don't just not show up.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If my kid is cut or demoted, the right thing is to focus on finding new opportunities, e.g., tryouts with other clubs. You don't want to have your kid get injured in a game for the club that just cut him and not being able to tryout elsewhere. If he has an offer in hand and landed elsewhere, sure, he can play with his old team to get extra touches, but there is no guarantee that the coach will give him meaningful minutes.

I think there is no right or wrong thing to do in this case except not to sabotage the team like leaving them hanging for a goalkeeper at the last minute.
By all means if your child is a goalkeeper who was cut you do not have to play but you should give the team as much notice as you can. If they tell you you were cut today and the tournament is Saturday that's their fault but don't just not show up.

to me that depends, did they give enough notice that the kid could try out elsewhere or did they get the news after other clubs were done with playoffs? If it's the latter, the coach better have a penny and a spare set of gloves

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Do kids who get cut or get rejection letters not so up for Memorial Day tournaments? or finish out the season?
Would like to hear any experiences you've had dealing with this and what clubs?

Kids get placed at different team levels throughout their playing career. Being placed on the B team is not "cut". Being cut means there is no spot for you on the team or at the club.

If your kid got placed on a lower level team or did not get promoted your player was not "cut". If this is the actual scenario I would not recommend having a temper tantrum over that.

If your kid did not make ANY team at the current club then THAT would be different.

Sorry but if you were on the A team and got an offer for the B team....that's being cut. You really shouldn't soften it for your kid unless he's like 5 maybe.

No it isn't the same as being cut, especially at small sided ages.

If your kid was not getting significant minutes during the season then this should not have been a surprise. Put your ego aside and welcome the opportunity for your kid gain significant playing time. Find out where he/she needs to improve and work on that. You don't need to start worry about the team until full sided.

Nobody likes being demoted but it is not the same as being cut.

In dcum world, demotions never relate to kid’s performance and are always fault of greed of club or preference for bigger players.

It's not a job, they don't need two weeks notice. At the tryouts, they are looking to see if anyone is better than your kid anyway. It's good to leave on a positive note (not trashing the club, saying that you appreciate what your coach and the club did for you), but it is not required to give a certain amount of notice in advance of the tryout that your child will not be attending. At the end of the day, while it is great to be polite, the club's interest is in what is best for the club, not your kid as an individual.


This may be true for some clubs and some coaches but DD's friend gave a club a lot of notice she was looking around and it was fine. The coach had helped train her for 2 years and was supportive. It is not a big club so they are more about personal relationships than about thinking of kids as bags of money.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Do kids who get cut or get rejection letters not so up for Memorial Day tournaments? or finish out the season?
Would like to hear any experiences you've had dealing with this and what clubs?

Kids get placed at different team levels throughout their playing career. Being placed on the B team is not "cut". Being cut means there is no spot for you on the team or at the club.

If your kid got placed on a lower level team or did not get promoted your player was not "cut". If this is the actual scenario I would not recommend having a temper tantrum over that.

If your kid did not make ANY team at the current club then THAT would be different.

Sorry but if you were on the A team and got an offer for the B team....that's being cut. You really shouldn't soften it for your kid unless he's like 5 maybe.

No it isn't the same as being cut, especially at small sided ages.

If your kid was not getting significant minutes during the season then this should not have been a surprise. Put your ego aside and welcome the opportunity for your kid gain significant playing time. Find out where he/she needs to improve and work on that. You don't need to start worry about the team until full sided.

Nobody likes being demoted but it is not the same as being cut.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If my kid is cut or demoted, the right thing is to focus on finding new opportunities, e.g., tryouts with other clubs. You don't want to have your kid get injured in a game for the club that just cut him and not being able to tryout elsewhere. If he has an offer in hand and landed elsewhere, sure, he can play with his old team to get extra touches, but there is no guarantee that the coach will give him meaningful minutes.

I think there is no right or wrong thing to do in this case except not to sabotage the team like leaving them hanging for a goalkeeper at the last minute.
By all means if your child is a goalkeeper who was cut you do not have to play but you should give the team as much notice as you can. If they tell you you were cut today and the tournament is Saturday that's their fault but don't just not show up.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Do kids who get cut or get rejection letters not so up for Memorial Day tournaments? or finish out the season?
Would like to hear any experiences you've had dealing with this and what clubs?

Kids get placed at different team levels throughout their playing career. Being placed on the B team is not "cut". Being cut means there is no spot for you on the team or at the club.

If your kid got placed on a lower level team or did not get promoted your player was not "cut". If this is the actual scenario I would not recommend having a temper tantrum over that.

If your kid did not make ANY team at the current club then THAT would be different.

Sorry but if you were on the A team and got an offer for the B team....that's being cut. You really shouldn't soften it for your kid unless he's like 5 maybe.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Do kids who get cut or get rejection letters not so up for Memorial Day tournaments? or finish out the season?
Would like to hear any experiences you've had dealing with this and what clubs?

Kids get placed at different team levels throughout their playing career. Being placed on the B team is not "cut". Being cut means there is no spot for you on the team or at the club.

If your kid got placed on a lower level team or did not get promoted your player was not "cut". If this is the actual scenario I would not recommend having a temper tantrum over that.

If your kid did not make ANY team at the current club then THAT would be different.

Anonymous wrote:

No. A coach has a duty to coach the kids on their team. Period. This is what is wrong with travel soccer. Too many coaches loyal to themselves or their club or their reputation vs. serving their paying customers. You should not get into youth coaching to: make a profit; feed your ego; “get wins”. You should get into coaching to: teach kids how to play the game; help kids mature and grow as people; and when relevant help a kid get to the next level of play.


I agree with this, but realistically, I can also see why he would invest more energy in kids that are staying with the club. I have no idea why your daughter told him she was leaving. That wasn't necessary or helpful to her. They can always fill her spot at tryout time - not trying out tells them the information that they need to know at that point.
You can at least make it a teachable moment. Put your two weeks notice in, see the rest of the season out, don’t burn your bridge and move on. Grass is not always greener on the other side. Sometimes it is. But you always can come back across that bridge if its no burned down.

It's not a job, they don't need two weeks notice. At the tryouts, they are looking to see if anyone is better than your kid anyway. It's good to leave on a positive note (not trashing the club, saying that you appreciate what your coach and the club did for you), but it is not required to give a certain amount of notice in advance of the tryout that your child will not be attending. At the end of the day, while it is great to be polite, the club's interest is in what is best for the club, not your kid as an individual.

Anonymous wrote:If my kid is cut or demoted, the right thing is to focus on finding new opportunities, e.g., tryouts with other clubs. You don't want to have your kid get injured in a game for the club that just cut him and not being able to tryout elsewhere. If he has an offer in hand and landed elsewhere, sure, he can play with his old team to get extra touches, but there is no guarantee that the coach will give him meaningful minutes.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Any kid who no-shows for the rest of the season after being cut/demoted deserves to be cut/demoted. The ones hurt the most by that decision aren’t the club or the coach, it’s the teammates who had absolutely nothing to do with the decision.

On the flip side, the kid can choose to move on and know it early, do the right thing and tell the coach/club so that the club can make the appropriate choices for other players. And then be screwed/not played/travel and spend $$ for no reason out of spite.... I know, it happened to my DD when she knew in April that she was leaving a team a few years ago and told the coach. Then she rode the bench. Despite the fact that the reason she was leaving was to move to a higher level of play. It goes both ways -- if the demoted player is supposed to be loyal to the club and the teammates, then the club needs to return the courtesy.

What did the teammates have to do with the coach’s decision here? The whole point of the previous post is that the other kids on the team have no say in other kids’ team placement, so if your kid is going to retaliate in a way that primarily hurts the other kids, they’re not a good teammate.

If the kid does not want to play it is okay. Maybe someone else on the bench gets more minutes. The teammate and the team are not screwed. Grow up.

Then I guess kid was disposable and deserved to be cut. See how that works? If your absence doesn’t hurt the team, then there’s no reason to keep you.

Not always. Both our keepers were cut and replaced by a shiny new snowflake. They could decide to be a$$hats and not show up or do the right thing. If they don’t show, there is literally no one with any experience who could fill for the tournaments they have scheduled. It isn’t always that other kids can jump right in - it depends on level and position.

Why is showing the right thing? If that was my kid, I’d have them reach out to the other keeper to see if the want to hang out on Saturday. Let the coach find out when no keeper shows and they need to toss a penny on someone

No. A coach has a duty to coach the kids on their team. Period. This is what is wrong with travel soccer. Too many coaches loyal to themselves or their club or their reputation vs. serving their paying customers. You should not get into youth coaching to: make a profit; feed your ego; “get wins”. You should get into coaching to: teach kids how to play the game; help kids mature and grow as people; and when relevant help a kid get to the next level of play.


I agree with this, but realistically, I can also see why he would invest more energy in kids that are staying with the club. I have no idea why your daughter told him she was leaving. That wasn't necessary or helpful to her. They can always fill her spot at tryout time - not trying out tells them the information that they need to know at that point.
You can at least make it a teachable moment. Put your two weeks notice in, see the rest of the season out, don’t burn your bridge and move on. Grass is not always greener on the other side. Sometimes it is. But you always can come back across that bridge if its no burned down.