Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would focus on how serious your sons anxiety is.
If it is bad then STA might not be the best for him

Agree. You might want to choose a school that is less of a pressure cooker.

How is it a pressure cooker though? Is the schedule on the website just for COVID time or does the academic day always only have 4 classes and end at lunch?

The current schedule is only because of COVID. It's about 60% of what the usual workload is; the school day usually ends around 2:30 if I recall, with lower school sports until 4/4:30 and upper school then from 4/4:30-6/6:30. It's a pressure cooker in normal times because: the day is long with required sports until 6/6:30; virtually all the boys are very high performing so everywhere you turn, someone is way better than you at something (true in life, but those who get in to STA at 9th were probably used to being at the top of the class pretty easily so it's an adjustment); the reading and writing is MUCH more challenging than what most publics and many other privates expect; if a kid if grade obsessed it can be hard to ascertain what it takes to get a high A from some teachers (it can feel like a moving target if used to having a rubric to work backwards from.) The homework load is relatively high. It was a shock for my son to realize he really did need to do homework from 7-11 or 12 weeknights, including Friday night, plus spend many hours on Sat and Sun to get papers written and study for tests in order to do well. I think the pressure comes for boys (and parents of boys) who compare themselves to others and worry about their position in a hierarchy. It is hard to be at the "top" at STA and it's an adjustment for many who come in at 9th. If he/you can ignore the invidious comparison dynamic and focus on learning and self-improvement and not obsess over where you stand relative to others, the boys seem to be really supportive of each other, help each other out, and come to recognize and appreciate the diverse individual talents of each other. Some kids just have a hard time making the adjustment away from thinking about school as a competitive environment.

Is that "worth it"? It has felt worth it for our family because I see how the work will prepare him for success in college, wherever that may be, although without the counterfactual of seeing what is happening in our public HS perhaps I'm overestimating the difference.

Honestly, since you say your son would thrive in public?

I’m going to say no. Take that 200k, invest it, and give him the lump sum when he turns 30.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would focus on how serious your sons anxiety is.
If it is bad then STA might not be the best for him

Agree. You might want to choose a school that is less of a pressure cooker.

How is it a pressure cooker though? Is the schedule on the website just for COVID time or does the academic day always only have 4 classes and end at lunch?

STA pushes boys to be their best while offering a variety of ways to shine, whether it's student leadership, academic honors, the fine and performing arts, or sports. There is no question these students are beyond academically prepared for college when they graduate. Good grades are not handed out at STA, they are earned. Boys are allowed to "mess up" (read: forget to turn in homework, blow off a quiz), but they are also held accountable and re-directed as needed. The thing we are parents like the most is that every single boy learns "soft skills", such as how to hold conversations with adults and how to advocate for themselves. The chapel talks are always engaging and thoughtful and give the boys a chance to learn and experience empathy in a peer setting. No school is perfect, but our son is really happy there.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think there are few expensive schools that are worth the tuition compared to public, but STA is one that falls in the worth it category.

I disagree that this is always the case. For a kid who would get lost in the shuffle perhaps but not necessarily a hard working student who is a rule follower and will do well anywhere. In fact, in a larger well regarded public school in this area, he might find more friend options and will definitely have more advanced class options his senior year, this is simply a factor of size. It really depends on the kid. OP, if you are still uncertain I’d say don’t do it. 200k plus the additional increase each year and then expected donations is money that could be spent on college or grad school or a vacation home... if you aren’t sold by now there is a reason you feel this way. I know a few families there in different grades. Some are happy and some feel so so. The happy ones have kids who who would not thrive at public or went to schools like STA themselves, the so so feeling ones are those whose sons would likely do well anywhere and are very strong students from what they say. Take from that what you will...

Not many kids "who would get lost in the shuffle" at public school are getting admitted to STA in 9th grade. Maybe a couple, but at that level, all of the kids admitted will be successful anywhere. That shouldn't be the deciding factor.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Thinking things through as the binding date approaches.
My son is smart, funny, athletic, and very conscientious about his school work (in part due to anxiety which he hides well). We thought (think) STA would be a great fit
because he thrives when teachers invest in him. However, I have no doubt that he would thrive at any school. He's a kid who does what is expected of him.
Do you think STA is good investment and worth $50K a year for high school? Would welcome any thoughts and please be kind.

This also worries me. I thought St. A could be a little sink or swim. On the other hand "he does what is expected of him" and I am guessing a lot is so he may rise to the occasion! I just wonder if OP is looking for a little more nurturing, which St. A may have--but hadn't heard that was the overall 'feel'

Is STA nurturing in the sense that teachers are relational and invested? We chose STA over Sidwell because we were under the impression that STA was a bit warmer (?) I hesitate to say "supportive" (because he's organized andd self motivated) but that's sort of what I mean.

Many teachers at STA are this way (not every single one), but I think all boys find mentors and are loved and helped to reach their potential. Education is top notch and most boys exit with a strong ability to speak to people of all ages, project confidence, etc. And while a poster above thought that your DS wouldn't end up at a better college, I would say that the college process is really strong there.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Thinking things through as the binding date approaches.
My son is smart, funny, athletic, and very conscientious about his school work (in part due to anxiety which he hides well). We thought (think) STA would be a great fit
because he thrives when teachers invest in him. However, I have no doubt that he would thrive at any school. He's a kid who does what is expected of him.
Do you think STA is good investment and worth $50K a year for high school? Would welcome any thoughts and please be kind.

OP, it's impossible to answer this question for you. Is it a stretch for you to come up with $200,000 to send your kid to four years of high school, or are you made of money? What kind of "investment" are you talking about? Will it get him into a better college than if he goes to Next Door High School? No. Will he get a better high school education than if he goes to Next Door High School? Quite possibly. Will he love and thrive in the community at STA, as compared to Next Door High School? Impossible to know.

If you're really looking to put a dollar value on this decision, that's a 100% personal choice. No one can decide that but you.

Disagree. It will get him into a better college most likely. Yes the top top of Publics and others go to Ivies but even the lower tier at STA goes to pretty top notch schools. All go to 4 year college and most are in the top 30 in the country.

Apples to apples you get in to the same sort of school from Whitman and STA.

Anonymous wrote:I think there are few expensive schools that are worth the tuition compared to public, but STA is one that falls in the worth it category.

I disagree that this is always the case. For a kid who would get lost in the shuffle perhaps but not necessarily a hard working student who is a rule follower and will do well anywhere. In fact, in a larger well regarded public school in this area, he might find more friend options and will definitely have more advanced class options his senior year, this is simply a factor of size. It really depends on the kid. OP, if you are still uncertain I’d say don’t do it. 200k plus the additional increase each year and then expected donations is money that could be spent on college or grad school or a vacation home... if you aren’t sold by now there is a reason you feel this way. I know a few families there in different grades. Some are happy and some feel so so. The happy ones have kids who who would not thrive at public or went to schools like STA themselves, the so so feeling ones are those whose sons would likely do well anywhere and are very strong students from what they say. Take from that what you will...

Anonymous wrote:I've found that most boys who have the perfect grades, etc needed to get into these schools have some degree of (often controlled) anxiety. The default for an 8th grade boy is to blow off grades a bit. Not to the degree of failing but to let a few things slide. It's almost a rite of passage or a stage of development. Those who make it through junior high with everything done perfectly are often motivated in part by anxiety. not pathological anxiety but some low-grade anxiety that is often motivating. I speak from experience.

Great post! Thank you!

I've found that most boys who have the perfect grades, etc needed to get into these schools have some degree of (often controlled) anxiety. The default for an 8th grade boy is to blow off grades a bit. Not to the degree of failing but to let a few things slide. It's almost a rite of passage or a stage of development. Those who make it through junior high with everything done perfectly are often motivated in part by anxiety. not pathological anxiety but some low-grade anxiety that is often motivating. I speak from experience.

Anonymous wrote:You all would be shocked how many kids, including boys at STA have anxiety - diagnosed or not. Honestly it is extremely common in kids today, especially those in high income, high expectation, highly competitive environments.

Yeah so? Not going to worry about stuff I have zero control over.

You all would be shocked how many kids, including boys at STA have anxiety - diagnosed or not. Honestly it is extremely common in kids today, especially those in high income, high expectation, highly competitive environments.

Anonymous wrote:OP- I think if you are able to spend the money with no problem that it's worthwhile. IF your public is like ours, the classes will be large. At StA your child will have small classes and the teachers will all know him. The curriculum is rich as well. If the $ is not easy to part with, or if you will constantly be comparing our wondering, then I'd say no.

If you can easily afford it, and your son is excited about going/ invested in it, it will be worth it.

Anonymous wrote:I would focus on how serious your sons anxiety is.
If it is bad then STA might not be the best for him

Agree. You might want to choose a school that is less of a pressure cooker.

Anonymous wrote:I would consider St. Anselm’s instead.

not with the anxiety though.