Would depend entirely on whether we needed money or not. Assuming not, of course we wouldn't charge them rent.

And we would not charge any siblings or expect them to chip in.

Re: spending down estate - talk to a lawyer about how to do that sensibly.

If they aren't good with money and you can afford it, then charge them and save it for them for the future.

Otherwise, it doesn't seem necessary.

Anonymous wrote:It’s funny, depending on my parent’s financial situation when they needed to live with me, I would charge my mom rent but not my dad. After turning 18, my mother charged me rent to live in their house anytime I had a job. And I’m talking first job out of college when I was making $1500/month and I paid 2/5ths of their whole mortgage. I’m pretty sure she wouldn't respect me if I let her live in my house free. My dad on the other hand - he thought my mom was crazy, and always found ways to give me my rent money back - buying me a really beat up old Honda, buying me tires, etc.

Same here. Actually I was 18, going to college full time and working part time for barely above minimum wage--so after taxes taking home about $70/week. My parents made me pay $100/month rent. Not allowed to use their car and lived in a suburb with not great public transportation, so I had to walk a mile to work and beg rides off friends to get to school. You bet I would charge my parents rent if they lived with me.

It’s funny, depending on my parent’s financial situation when they needed to live with me, I would charge my mom rent but not my dad. After turning 18, my mother charged me rent to live in their house anytime I had a job. And I’m talking first job out of college when I was making $1500/month and I paid 2/5ths of their whole mortgage. I’m pretty sure she wouldn't respect me if I let her live in my house free. My dad on the other hand - he thought my mom was crazy, and always found ways to give me my rent money back - buying me a really beat up old Honda, buying me tires, etc.

Anonymous wrote:It might not be a bad idea for your parents to pay you rent. If you anticipate they may need a nursing home in the future, it would be a way to “spend down” their assets in case they would need to apply for Medicaid. I would check with an elder care attorney first, but I have heard of people doing this.

Yes, exactly this. I would charge them rent and just save the money for them.

It depends.

When my father was in his last illness, we moved him into my house for post surgery recovery and radiation treatments. We moved him into our bedroom because it had an en suite that worked better. It ended up that he was with us for 9 months and I was the main caregiver throughout that time. He died peacefully in his bed. Both my sister and my father insisted on paying a monthly amount to cover the added costs and some remuneration for my time. I was very hesitant, but they insisted. My sister was 400 miles away and had just started a chemo regime. I finally relented and it turned out to be a comfort. It helped me feel appreciated.

I think there are many circumstances where it would make sense and some where it would not.

Anonymous wrote:I hope my kids are raised better than to ask this question. You should be ashamed.

My mother took care of my grandmother for 25 years in our home. My grandmother did pay rent, which helped my parents afford a larger home where my grandmother could have her own room. It was a portion of her social security and pension so well within what she could afford and well below market rate for rent. My grandmother would have been very unhappy to not contribute—she also contributed to household expenses when she lived with her parents and worked as a young single woman. Many people feel that if you live in a household, you contribute. (She also helped with stuff around the house to the extent she was able and as long as she was able.). She would have hated the idea of my parents skipping things for themselves to pay for her support when she herself was capable of contributing. Of course, my mother did not charge for the many hours of care over 25 years and well into my mother’s own elder years.
It’s not an unreasonable question to ask whether someone that lives in a household should financial contribute if that person has income. If I had a child who was not a student, I would also expect them to financially contribute unless they were unable to do so.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If they would otherwise spend down to medicaid at some point, I'd probably talk to them about charging them market rent and putting that money aside to be used in case they need it later.

+1. I can think of lots of reasons it might make sense to charge them market rent. It is a way to transfer wealth.

+3 As the other PP said this isn't about making them pay so much that they can't afford to eat, but about being smart with money, which you can put aside. You could also take advantage of tax benefits geared toward landlords.

I know of a family where the grandparents bought a house with the son and DIL. All 4 people were equal owners of the house. Both couples paid into the common cost of the house (utilities, food costs etc).

Eventually, the younger couple bought out the parents for market price and now the parents pay them a much reduced rent and smaller share of food and utilities. The younger couple had two kids and take more space and use up more stuff. So now what the older couple are now paying is in keeping with what they actually use. Initial pooling of resources enabled them to buy a huge house in an expensive neighborhood which they could not have been able to afford on their own.

The older couple used the lump sum of their share of the house in providing for their other son and DIL too and so the second son also has been able to afford a good house in an expensive neighborhood. A good lesson in how wealth is created for future generations.

Anonymous wrote:It might not be a bad idea for your parents to pay you rent. If you anticipate they may need a nursing home in the future, it would be a way to “spend down” their assets in case they would need to apply for Medicaid. I would check with an elder care attorney first, but I have heard of people doing this.

+1. My mom let her aunt live with her for decades rent free. When she needed a nursing home, all of her savings went to the nursing home before Medicaid kicked in, which meant she then had zero in cash for buying little luxuries like a box of candy, Xmas presents for her nieces and nephews, a new dress for Easter, some nicer furniture for the facility, etc. if she had paid my mother a “fair market rent” (or less) for the room, my mom could have put it aside to let her have those little luxuries in her final years. Of course, we tried to buy her things but she didn’t want us spending our money on her, and it’s not quite the same.
I’m not saying make your elderly relatives skimp and eat catfood to pay you rent....but it maybe doesn’t make sense for elderly people to build up a big reserve of savings. Also a lot of elderly people want to pay some towards their room and board so that they don’t feel like freeloaders.

No

I hope my kids are raised better than to ask this question. You should be ashamed.

It might not be a bad idea for your parents to pay you rent. If you anticipate they may need a nursing home in the future, it would be a way to “spend down” their assets in case they would need to apply for Medicaid. I would check with an elder care attorney first, but I have heard of people doing this.

yourself

Anonymous wrote:Are they offering? Maybe they want to call it "rent", when they actually just want to give you money. If the parents really want to give you money Op, find a way. Let them call it "rent".