Anonymous wrote:I don’t like it either. It just serves as a reminder that I will literally never get an actual break, not even for one day.

I'm taking a three-night girls trip and returning on Sunday on time for dinner.

If you have financial constraints or literally no spouse or help, I'm truly sorry. But if you do, is it that you never get an actual break, or that you don't take one? FFS, book yourself a hotel room Saturday night and return home Sunday in time for take-out dinner.

To me, it’s just another day with the notable and ironic exception that my husband is like, “just relax today! It’s Mother’s Day, don’t run an errand or clean the bathrooms!!!11” So then my chores schedule gets completely off track and it takes me all week to catch up. Note, does he clean the bathrooms or do my Target run, no he does not.

I don’t like it either. It just serves as a reminder that I will literally never get an actual break, not even for one day.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My husband’s birthday is always the same week. So the weekend is trumped by that, and of course his mother takes precedence in the celebrating.

And my own mother sent me a happy mother’s day card and present today, a week early, in a spectacularly passive aggressive move. Stunning really.

What's wrong with that?

I was wondering that too. I have a feeling her kids will be on here in a few years posting about how their mom is never happy with what they do on MD and they dread the holiday.

It literally makes no sense why she perceives this as being passive aggressive! Apparently I am passive aggressive myself since both my mother and my mother-in-law have already received their Mother’s Day cards and gifts. Mail is taking much longer these days and companies are still shipping on delayed schedules. I’m sure if that posters mom had sent her a card and a gift that arrived even one second after Mother’s Day, should be on here complaining. I’m not appreciate somebody doing something for you, and ensuring it reaches you before the actual day so you can enjoy it versus taking a risk it may arrive late?

Anonymous wrote:My local MIL makes Mother’s Day all about her. She expects to be feted and have DH visit or will propose that we all go out for brunch so that I can also celebrate. Nope.

Now I just tell DH to go over solo to visit his mom and I get the short end of the stick. It’s like I don’t matter.

When I was a new mom, DH and I took our baby and went away for my first Mother’s Day. He called his mom to wish her a happy Mother’s Day and FIL answered b/c MIL was upset that we dared be away for her day. That was 15 years ago.

Then make Saturday YOUR day. Give him a list and tell him to make it happen, or you too can become a whining troublemaker on Sunday.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My husband’s birthday is always the same week. So the weekend is trumped by that, and of course his mother takes precedence in the celebrating.

And my own mother sent me a happy mother’s day card and present today, a week early, in a spectacularly passive aggressive move. Stunning really.

What's wrong with that?

I was wondering that too. I have a feeling her kids will be on here in a few years posting about how their mom is never happy with what they do on MD and they dread the holiday.

Lol ^^ does NOT like cut flowers.

Maybe I’m the only one who does like real cut flowers. All the steps then cleaning the vase. We always end up keeping them too long and they smell. Or the ones from florist are so expensive.
As for Fathers Day ... anniversary of DH death so no.

I don’t like the pressure either. We are a 2 mom family too. DW asked what I wanted and I said flowers for the deck. She said she wants time to go play cards by herself. I had DD make her one of those stepping stones from a kit. My Mom lives in England so I sent her a card and made a phone call back in March when it’s celebrated there. We are having dinner with in laws tonight to celebrate with them because I work a 12 hour shift next Sunday. MIL likes to act like the whole dinner is about her, forgetting there are 2 Mothers there as well who are actually currently parenting.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op - what do your kids do for you?

My kids are 5/3/1. The 5 year old will show up with some art or dandelions she picked and it will likely be the one nice part of the day. I hope to not put this pressure on them ever

PP with the DH who is bad at gift giving yet good at everything else. My kids are young adults who earn their own money. I am hurt that they either don’t give me anything or buy some afterthought thing from CVS. I put a lot of thought to gifts for everyone in my family. It’s not the monetary cost. Even a nice card would be appreciated. After years of being made to feel like I ruined the holiday and everyone on eggshells around me, I just stay out of the way and smile on the outside while I’m hurting inside. DH usually gets take out or maybe restaurant this year because we’re all vaccinated and I try to be thankful for that and count my blessings. Monday can’t come soon enough because it takes the spotlight off of me to enjoy something I hate.

Keep it simple, OP. Instead of calling the mothers in your life who hate Mother’s Day, give your 5 year old two blank pieces of paper and some crayons. Ask her to draw a happy picture on each, one for each mother. Then you can write, “Thinking of you and sending hugs!” and have everyone sign their name somewhere on the page. Mail to each mother and you’re done.

For your Mother’s Day, order your favorite take out for dinner and have your DH pick it up. Give your 5 and 3 year olds the napkins, plates and flatware to set the table for you. It won’t be Martha Stewart perfect, but it’ll be charming because your kids did it. When someone asks how your Mother’s Day was, you can say, “Great! DH took care of dinner and it was lovely.”

I hope you’ll have a pleasant Mother’s Day this year.

I just treat it like any other holiday - thanksgiving or Christmas- we have a big meal with the in-laws since they live in town. I get take-out so I don’t have to cook.

Anonymous wrote:My local MIL makes Mother’s Day all about her. She expects to be feted and have DH visit or will propose that we all go out for brunch so that I can also celebrate. Nope.

Now I just tell DH to go over solo to visit his mom and I get the short end of the stick. It’s like I don’t matter.

When I was a new mom, DH and I took our baby and went away for my first Mother’s Day. He called his mom to wish her a happy Mother’s Day and FIL answered b/c MIL was upset that we dared be away for her day. That was 15 years ago.

You are not your husbands mother. Get it. I only got to celebrate Father’s Day after my dad and wives dad dropped dead. My wife lucky for her my mom died a few years after marriage so I was free always. Her mom is still alive and she still has to share

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op - what do your kids do for you?

My kids are 5/3/1. The 5 year old will show up with some art or dandelions she picked and it will likely be the one nice part of the day. I hope to not put this pressure on them ever

Sigh. You are really manufacturing a problem that does not exist. There is no pressure except the one you invented, OP. Stop it.

Anonymous wrote:Op - what do your kids do for you?

My kids are 5/3/1. The 5 year old will show up with some art or dandelions she picked and it will likely be the one nice part of the day. I hope to not put this pressure on them ever