Anonymous
Post 05/06/2021 14:12     Subject: Choosing the sex of a transfer if already doing genetic testing
Anonymous wrote:I always find it so weird when people want to choose the gender. Like what if you end up with a boyish lesbian tomboy or a girly feminine boy? Will you be totally disappointed?


All children end up disappointing their parents at least some of the time. No one should go into parenting expecting 24/7 delight.

A girly boy is still a boy. A tomboy girl is still a girl.
Anonymous
Post 05/06/2021 14:11     Subject: Choosing the sex of a transfer if already doing genetic testing
Anonymous wrote:We did not want to choose. The doctor chose the strongest one without regard to sex (the doctor's office didn't even get the sexes from the genetic testing company, so the doctor had no idea what sex she was choosing). I kept thinking how awful I would feel if we did choose a preferred sex, then that didn't work out, and we ended up having a baby of our not-preferred sex. How would they feel knowing they weren't what we initially wanted?

If we go for a second, I could possibly see us choosing the sex then, to have the experience of parenting one of each (you know, to the extent that sex actually is a thing that matters). But it'll depend how we feel then, I guess.


? How would they know that unless you tell them? Not telling is completely within your power..
Anonymous
Post 05/06/2021 13:13     Subject: Choosing the sex of a transfer if already doing genetic testing
I always find it so weird when people want to choose the gender. Like what if you end up with a boyish lesbian tomboy or a girly feminine boy? Will you be totally disappointed?
Anonymous
Post 05/06/2021 13:03     Subject: Re:Choosing the sex of a transfer if already doing genetic testing
We asked the dr to choose the best embryo out of three. I desperately wanted a girl, but I did not want to do anything that would preclude a healthy baby. We had a boy and while I’m sad about not having a girl, I am so glad we didn’t choose the gender.
Anonymous
Post 05/06/2021 12:55     Subject: Choosing the sex of a transfer if already doing genetic testing
We did not want to choose. The doctor chose the strongest one without regard to sex (the doctor's office didn't even get the sexes from the genetic testing company, so the doctor had no idea what sex she was choosing). I kept thinking how awful I would feel if we did choose a preferred sex, then that didn't work out, and we ended up having a baby of our not-preferred sex. How would they feel knowing they weren't what we initially wanted?

If we go for a second, I could possibly see us choosing the sex then, to have the experience of parenting one of each (you know, to the extent that sex actually is a thing that matters). But it'll depend how we feel then, I guess.
Anonymous
Post 05/05/2021 21:03     Subject: Choosing the sex of a transfer if already doing genetic testing
Anonymous wrote:I had 3 boys in 3 years.... They are so cute and easy


Hahaha that's a total lie. The friend I know with 3 boys the only way to describe their life is chaotic. ER basically every year if not multiple times a year.
Anonymous
Post 05/05/2021 20:58     Subject: Choosing the sex of a transfer if already doing genetic testing
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I'm looking for perspectives from people who have done IVF with genetic testing: did you select the sex of your embryos for transfer?

We are doing genetic testing for age reasons and will be able to find out the sex. The sex has never been that important to me. In fact, part of me is tempted to merely ask the doctor to place the best-looking embryo. In the event we are able to have two children, perhaps my ideal would be one of each. But this journey to even getting pregnant has been so difficult I am not going to tempt fate at this point.

Did you choose? Leave it to the embryologist? What went into your decision? Anything that you regretted later? Thanks.


We did full genetic testing, including the sex, and transferred the sex we wanted. If you have PGS results, looks don't come into play.



Aren’t they still graded and therefore ranked?


In my experience, yes. Maybe PPs were all ranked the same so doctor didn’t mention it? But at least at SGF, PGS embryos are still graded.


We did ours in 2018 so it's possible that the technology has changed. All we were told was that we have four PGS normals, and their sex. SGF did not mention rank to us at all. When we were transferring, they asked what sex we wanted, and that was that.


This is similar to what happened to us. We were told they were all normal. Told there was no evidence-based difference in them in terms of outcome. I wasn't really going to let some random pick the gender. So I picked.

This was also a while ago though when the PGS option was newer.


Actually there are now several studies that seem to indicate that well graded euploid embryos do better than poorly graded euploid embryos and day 5 euploid embryos have a higher likelihood of success than day 7. For example—
https://www.fertstert.org/article/S0015-0282(16)63012-1/pdf

That’s why embryologists and doctors will consider the embryo grade along with the day when determine which embryos to transfer first.
Anonymous
Post 05/05/2021 18:32     Subject: Re:Choosing the sex of a transfer if already doing genetic testing
FWIW we're in the SGF DE guarantee program. We have 6 PGT normal embryos and the best 3 have identical grades. I don’t know if they’re the same gender or a mix but my nurse said that if we chose the gender it would invalidate the guarantee. I’m fine with letting the embryologist or RE pick which one to transfer. Honestly, I don’t want to know until the anatomy scan. We’ve had some failures and I think if i don’t get pregnant or miscarry knowing the gender would just make it harder.
Anonymous
Post 05/05/2021 16:16     Subject: Choosing the sex of a transfer if already doing genetic testing
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I'm looking for perspectives from people who have done IVF with genetic testing: did you select the sex of your embryos for transfer?

We are doing genetic testing for age reasons and will be able to find out the sex. The sex has never been that important to me. In fact, part of me is tempted to merely ask the doctor to place the best-looking embryo. In the event we are able to have two children, perhaps my ideal would be one of each. But this journey to even getting pregnant has been so difficult I am not going to tempt fate at this point.

Did you choose? Leave it to the embryologist? What went into your decision? Anything that you regretted later? Thanks.


We did full genetic testing, including the sex, and transferred the sex we wanted. If you have PGS results, looks don't come into play.



Aren’t they still graded and therefore ranked?


In my experience, yes. Maybe PPs were all ranked the same so doctor didn’t mention it? But at least at SGF, PGS embryos are still graded.


We did ours in 2018 so it's possible that the technology has changed. All we were told was that we have four PGS normals, and their sex. SGF did not mention rank to us at all. When we were transferring, they asked what sex we wanted, and that was that.


This is similar to what happened to us. We were told they were all normal. Told there was no evidence-based difference in them in terms of outcome. I wasn't really going to let some random pick the gender. So I picked.

This was also a while ago though when the PGS option was newer.
Anonymous
Post 05/05/2021 09:50     Subject: Choosing the sex of a transfer if already doing genetic testing
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I'm looking for perspectives from people who have done IVF with genetic testing: did you select the sex of your embryos for transfer?

We are doing genetic testing for age reasons and will be able to find out the sex. The sex has never been that important to me. In fact, part of me is tempted to merely ask the doctor to place the best-looking embryo. In the event we are able to have two children, perhaps my ideal would be one of each. But this journey to even getting pregnant has been so difficult I am not going to tempt fate at this point.

Did you choose? Leave it to the embryologist? What went into your decision? Anything that you regretted later? Thanks.


We did full genetic testing, including the sex, and transferred the sex we wanted. If you have PGS results, looks don't come into play.



Aren’t they still graded and therefore ranked?


In my experience, yes. Maybe PPs were all ranked the same so doctor didn’t mention it? But at least at SGF, PGS embryos are still graded.


We did ours in 2018 so it's possible that the technology has changed. All we were told was that we have four PGS normals, and their sex. SGF did not mention rank to us at all. When we were transferring, they asked what sex we wanted, and that was that.