The pay to play youth sports industry (i.e. non-revenue/Title IX college sports) operates on the naive dreams of kids and (mostly) parents... the adrenaline flows at the sight of adidas/UA-sweated college coaches roaming the fields at showcase tournaments. What school are they from?...are they coming to our field?...quick...a flyer! Granted, it is very exciting.
The problem is there is no distinction between the laborious commitment expected from revenue and non-revenue jox in college. Every coach for every sport has to justify their existence, so the non-revs approach their job as if the NFL or NBA were on the line. I used to hope non-revs were run like a youth club. Not at all. The ID camps are a great glimpse at reality...players and a few coaches lay it on the line in those settings. Me, personally, i never saw a current college player who was helping with camps smile. It kind of struck me. But they do tell the kids be prepared to eat, drink, sleep soccer...if you're not, you will fail. After-all. they don't want to commit kids who will decide they don't want to be tied to it. My kid once told me 18-22 doesn't come back. It is indeed the life for some, I think that's really how recruiting operates. For the kid who is willing to play in the ECNL or whatever national level leagues, there is more shot they won't question the college life. For an athletic kid at a lower level league, they don't reach out. The system ~works~. You just have to know if your kid is in long term and if you want to try out for those national leagues and commit the resources. I've heard of social misery even from D2 and D3 players.
The college thing just needs perspective and it's hard to not get sucked up into something you, as a parent, probably wouldn't do between 18-22.