Anonymous wrote:Talk to any MS teacher. They will tell you it's fine.

The kids are practicing/trying it out amongst friends. In ES, they listened to you and didn't repear the bad words. Now they are getting older, rebelling a little.

As long as they understand amongst friends, fine. With adults, NEVER.

I have been a middle school teacher for 20+ years. I don't know a single middle school teacher who would "tell you it's fine" for a 6th or 7th grade student to curse or swear. But keep making stuff up if you want...

Anonymous wrote:It's normal and I'd advise you let it go because if you make a big deal out of the little stuff they will find a way to hide it and then you'll never be alert to the big stuff.

+1

Exactly

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What I told my kids is that I don't care if they curse, but I care that they not curse AT people. And they absolutely can NOT use racially aggressive words.

This, and also to know your audience. I don't really care if they swear among themselves because they are trying out the power of words. But I care a lot more if they are swearing in the classroom or in conversations with teachers/other adults. So far my 5th grader seems to understand those limits.

Exactly this. I’m fine with swearing at or about a situation, but not using those words as weapons towards somebody else. My kids are 14 and 18 and best I can tell her approach has worked pretty well.

+1

I told my kids that anything they put in writing has to be for everyone’s eyes— me and teachers are the audience. On top of that, if others get mean, use offensive terms about others, they have to say something if they can but at least stop all communication on that particular thread. So far, it’s worked. Luckily, they agree with me. They’re sensible kids. My Dd is a senior and my DS is in 8th grade. Others are swearing in their text chats, including the girls to my son, but my kids aren’t.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Honestly it makes me question of my kid should be friends w a kid who swears and puts people down in group texts. My DD is in 6th and when her older was in 6th a few years back I never saw texts like I see now. I realize a lot is from COVID but it still is off putting to me

Swearing and putting people down are two different things. And good luck telling your 7th grader who you think they should or shouldn’t be friends with. Doesn’t always go over well.

I think questioning whether your 6th grader or 7th grader should be friends with a particular kid is what is not really normal. At that age they tend to know what's normal and what's not.

A 7th grader’s idea of “normal” is often quite different than their parents’. One of many reasons things get very difficult around this age.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Honestly it makes me question of my kid should be friends w a kid who swears and puts people down in group texts. My DD is in 6th and when her older was in 6th a few years back I never saw texts like I see now. I realize a lot is from COVID but it still is off putting to me

Swearing and putting people down are two different things. And good luck telling your 7th grader who you think they should or shouldn’t be friends with. Doesn’t always go over well.

I think questioning whether your 6th grader or 7th grader should be friends with a particular kid is what is not really normal. At that age they tend to know what's normal and what's not.

My DS's friends trash talk each other all the time on group texts. Then they make up 2 minutes later and forget it happened. It's usually in the context of a video game.

I find it strange but they don't seem bothered by it.

Anonymous wrote:Honestly it makes me question of my kid should be friends w a kid who swears and puts people down in group texts. My DD is in 6th and when her older was in 6th a few years back I never saw texts like I see now. I realize a lot is from COVID but it still is off putting to me

Swearing and putting people down are two different things. And good luck telling your 7th grader who you think they should or shouldn’t be friends with. Doesn’t always go over well.

Honestly it makes me question of my kid should be friends w a kid who swears and puts people down in group texts. My DD is in 6th and when her older was in 6th a few years back I never saw texts like I see now. I realize a lot is from COVID but it still is off putting to me

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would nip that in the bud. Bad language is a hard habit to break and the way we speak (and type) informs other peoples' impression of us. I know a lot of people think it is the age but as a middle school teacher I think you need to reel that language in. I am pretty appalled at all the posters here who think it is okay to curse, and who aren't blinking an eye at a 6th or 7th grader cursing. Yikes.

I heartily agree. It's intellectual laziness at its core - not wanting to find interesting and creative ways to express your feelings, but going for the obvious that everyone uses. That's why I don't allow swearing in my house. I want my children to think for themselves. There are so many fruity and pungent words to express frustration.

I'd be more upset if my dc texted "fruity " or "pungent" to their peers. Might as well wear a "kick me" sign on their back.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would nip that in the bud. Bad language is a hard habit to break and the way we speak (and type) informs other peoples' impression of us. I know a lot of people think it is the age but as a middle school teacher I think you need to reel that language in. I am pretty appalled at all the posters here who think it is okay to curse, and who aren't blinking an eye at a 6th or 7th grader cursing. Yikes.

I heartily agree. It's intellectual laziness at its core - not wanting to find interesting and creative ways to express your feelings, but going for the obvious that everyone uses. That's why I don't allow swearing in my house. I want my children to think for themselves. There are so many fruity and pungent words to express frustration.

If only people were capable of both. Swear words, as well as more thoughtful expressions of every type, are capable of being uttered by the same individual. I would def be rolling my eyes if my child used the words fruity and pungent in the manner used by PP. That sort of view, and language, is overly fussy and shows little capability for being easy going or very likable.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What I told my kids is that I don't care if they curse, but I care that they not curse AT people. And they absolutely can NOT use racially aggressive words.

This, and also to know your audience. I don't really care if they swear among themselves because they are trying out the power of words. But I care a lot more if they are swearing in the classroom or in conversations with teachers/other adults. So far my 5th grader seems to understand those limits.

+1. Everyone says things around friends they wouldn’t say around others. It about kids learning context, boundaries, Situational awareness, and how to maintain respect. The goal of monitoring text is not to punish kids for everything in them, but maintain awareness of what’s going on, help keep them safe, and help them navigate growing up in a digital environment.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would nip that in the bud. Bad language is a hard habit to break and the way we speak (and type) informs other peoples' impression of us. I know a lot of people think it is the age but as a middle school teacher I think you need to reel that language in. I am pretty appalled at all the posters here who think it is okay to curse, and who aren't blinking an eye at a 6th or 7th grader cursing. Yikes.

I heartily agree. It's intellectual laziness at its core - not wanting to find interesting and creative ways to express your feelings, but going for the obvious that everyone uses. That's why I don't allow swearing in my house. I want my children to think for themselves. There are so many fruity and pungent words to express frustration.

I'd be more upset if my dc texted "fruity " or "pungent" to their peers. Might as well wear a "kick me" sign on their back.

I'll seems to be a rite of passage. They tone it down eventually

Anonymous wrote:I would nip that in the bud. Bad language is a hard habit to break and the way we speak (and type) informs other peoples' impression of us. I know a lot of people think it is the age but as a middle school teacher I think you need to reel that language in. I am pretty appalled at all the posters here who think it is okay to curse, and who aren't blinking an eye at a 6th or 7th grader cursing. Yikes.

I heartily agree. It's intellectual laziness at its core - not wanting to find interesting and creative ways to express your feelings, but going for the obvious that everyone uses. That's why I don't allow swearing in my house. I want my children to think for themselves. There are so many fruity and pungent words to express frustration.