Anonymous wrote:My guess is that the injured child is actually the one going later, and so he doesn't have the option of walking as easily.

But, setting aside the injury, how about alternating your driving time? You drive once per day, and three times a week you drive early, two times a week you drive late. If it is raining cats and dogs you'll default to driving early regardless of whose day it is.

That way the "burden" of walking or biking is on both kids equally-ish, and both feel like they are being taking care of and loved, but the schedule acknowledges that everyone can get to school on their own power, but the ride is a kindness.

Anonymous wrote:DC2 sounds rather spoiled.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We live 0.7 miles from kids' school. Easy walking and biking distance, when that works. (One child has had leg injury that prevents biking now, one has to carry lots of sports equipment, rainy days, etc.)

With back to school, they have to be there in the morning at different start times - one at 8:15 and the other at 8:45.

DH is adamant that "we're not going to run a shuttle back and forth to school all morning" - meaning, that we will offer one ride in the morning and that's it. Obviously, car has to leave the house in time for the first start. DC2 is balking at that, saying it is "unfair" to force an early departure to accommodate DC1. DC2 would get to school a half hour earlier than necessary, or can choose to walk or bike.

Is this reasonable? They are both in high school.

Unreasonable. This is not a huge ask, ffs. Just drive them separately. You're less than a mile. And this short lived given that you're only doing it twice b/c one is injured.

I hope you and your DH never need some accommodation.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Fwiw, if someone I knew was driving back home to pick up the 8:45 kid later, I would never respect them again.

I feel just the opposite. If you can't accommodate two short rides, one of which is for an injured kid, then I'd think you're the biggest jerk off ever. This is not a big deal or thing to give in on for a temporary time frame.

Anonymous wrote:Fwiw, if someone I knew was driving back home to pick up the 8:45 kid later, I would never respect them again.

Anonymous wrote:We live 0.7 miles from kids' school. Easy walking and biking distance, when that works. (One child has had leg injury that prevents biking now, one has to carry lots of sports equipment, rainy days, etc.)

With back to school, they have to be there in the morning at different start times - one at 8:15 and the other at 8:45.

DH is adamant that "we're not going to run a shuttle back and forth to school all morning" - meaning, that we will offer one ride in the morning and that's it. Obviously, car has to leave the house in time for the first start. DC2 is balking at that, saying it is "unfair" to force an early departure to accommodate DC1. DC2 would get to school a half hour earlier than necessary, or can choose to walk or bike.

Is this reasonable? They are both in high school.

Anonymous wrote:Yes, reasonable, though I think you should be understanding towards how it inconveniences DC2. His schedule is being dictated by his sibling, and it really might impact him -- a lot of teenagers really need the extra sleep or time to relax in the morning. So I would say "I know this is a bit unfair to you since you're day starts later. But it doesn't make sense for us to spend an hour driving back and forth to school, especially for kids who are mature enough to walk or bike many days. So tell us how we can make this easier for you on those days that you are going to school early and, within reason, we will try to accommodate it."

It could be something as simple as making sure you always have his preferred breakfast item in the house, or he gets the favored seat in the car, or something. But just acknowledging that this is a bit unfair to him and offering to compensate in some way will probably go a long way towards making him feel heard and listened to. Often it seems like kids are throwing a fit over nothing (it's 30 minutes, not a huge deal) but teenagers have a lot of insecurity about their place in the world. Making sure he understands he's valued in your family is really important developmentally. Especially in a case where he probably feels like he is being forced to sacrifice for his sibling (kids need to feel like they are individually seen and appreciated).