Anonymous wrote:Some threads make me so damn sad, and this is one of them.

It’s so so sad. Mom’s own disordered eating is screwing up her daughter. A time old story.... your fear of having a FAT daughter is motivating you
To squash this otherwise nice friendship. Awful.

"Very worried" is extreme, you need to balance your anxiety in other ways rather than fixating on this family.

"Food rules" - what exactly do you mean? Teens in my house eat everything I cook (healthy) and I add cut up fruit and veggies when they get junk snacks. I buy healthier versions of junk, and they like how it tastes better than the alternatives. They eat what they want when they want, save I like for them not to eat just before dinner.

They get to live how they like. So do you. You might enjoy life a lot more if you focused on yourself more rather than distracted with thinking like this. It's more toxic of a path than smoking imo.

Some threads make me so damn sad, and this is one of them.

Anonymous wrote:
If your families' values are very different, the friendship likely won't last long anyway. Just continue promoting your own values about nutrition and exercise, and let the relationship run its course.

Don’t encourage them to spend time together. If it gets too frequent where you’re kids metabolism and habits are some positive influence friends and activities.

Anonymous wrote:OP here. I don’t want her eating all that crap. I just don’t. So I guess my option is to just say no to her going over there and say the friend can come to our house?

OP, I'm afraid you are responsible for this problem.

If you have FOOD RULES and never bothered to explain FOOD CHOICES and consequences (based on science), then you have created a monster who CANT WAIT to get that horrible stuff into their gullet and bloodstream as fast as possible.

How have you made it with your daughter all the way to 13 and this is now all of a sudden a problem. First time she has a friend, hmmm? Never been to anyone home that had FORBIDDEN FOODS?

What the heck is going on here?

Anonymous wrote:OP here. I don’t want her eating all that crap. I just don’t. So I guess my option is to just say no to her going over there and say the friend can come to our house?

Your other option is to recognize that sometimes being a decent parent means putting our kids needs first, and that your kid needs this friendship, and that the benefits outweigh what you want.

Anonymous wrote:Holy Sh1t, MIND YOUR OWN BUSINESS, OP.

Thank you I really wanted to post just that!

100% agree.

Anonymous wrote:You do not address this with DD. It's none of your business. If your daughter brings it up, you go with "different strokes for different folks" and move on. You raise your kid with your values, and then you don't judge others, nor do you teach your daughter to judge others.

There's so, so much judgment in your post.

+10000000

Holy Sh1t, MIND YOUR OWN BUSINESS, OP.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. I don’t want her eating all that crap. I just don’t. So I guess my option is to just say no to her going over there and say the friend can come to our house?

You're daughter's health is in much greater peril based on your control issues than it would be if she went to her friend's house once a week through high school and gorged herself. Good lord.

+1 seek help Op. your reaction to this situation is not Normal.

You lost me at food rules.

Anonymous wrote:You do not address this with DD. It's none of your business. If your daughter brings it up, you go with "different strokes for different folks" and move on. You raise your kid with your values, and then you don't judge others, nor do you teach your daughter to judge others.

There's so, so much judgment in your post.

X1000000

Were you never a teenager? We all grew up in healthy households and we spent our time out eating fries with gravy and milkshakes at the diner. Lunch at school was the same. We ate tons of recreational junk. No one was fat. Let it be. It’s better she has a nice friend.

Anonymous wrote:17:12 again. How many of you go on regular family hikes with your teens? Not happening in my house. There are not a lot of family activities right now with the moody hormones raging.

My kids hate hiking. Always have. Now that they're teens they'd rather jump off the mountain than hike it as a family. Can't blame them. I hate hiking too.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. I don’t want her eating all that crap. I just don’t. So I guess my option is to just say no to her going over there and say the friend can come to our house?

You're daughter's health is in much greater peril based on your control issues than it would be if she went to her friend's house once a week through high school and gorged herself. Good lord.

Ding ding ding. She's 13 not 3. She will figure this out on her own. So what if she eats too much junk food? She'll feel like crap and maybe not eat so much the next time.

Because I'm sure your house has absolutely no junk food (and probably has locks on the cabinets)