Just say you aren’t interested in setting up a carpool if they ask. If I asked someone if they wanted to carpool to camp and they said no, I would just say okay and move on. There’s nothing awkward and it’s not like my kids camp experience hinges on carpooling with you.
I think you are way overthinking it!

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If they ask, can you say "I'd love to but we our mornings are chaotic and we often don't go directly home after camp so I can't commit to a regular carpooling schedule. I know [insert your child's name here] will be thrilled to play with [insert other kid's name here] at camp though!!

I have kind of poor social skills but an answer like that is always confusing to me, because half of it is yes and half is no. It sounds like they want to so maybe it’s an invitation to problem solve?

Just say “I’m so glad they will be together. Carpooling doesn’t work for us, but Larla will look forward to seeing Hortense at camp!

I agree about keeping it simple. “Unfortunately that doesn’t work with our schedule, but Larla is excited to see Larlo at camp!”

I’m curious ( not judging) why you don’t want to carpool? Is it because you can’t do everyone so you’d rather do no one? My kid does one camp that is 10 mins away and I don’t feel the need to carpool. Pre Covid though she also did an art camp 25/30 mins away and I totally wanted to carpool. Shared the drive with 3 other moms so only had to drive once in one direction every other day.

I'm a parent who likes to carpool. I like driving less, my kids like arriving places with friends. It works for me.

But I don't understand why, if I ask you if you would like to carpool, you can't just say "no thanks". You don't need to apologize or be kind or let me down gently. You also don't have to imply that because I like to carpool and you don't that I'm some kind of user with whiny kids who is out to sue you or take advantage of you. You just say "No, thanks".

Sorry. I can’t this summer. Too many obligations.

Giving an excuse just opens the door to a negotiation.

Anonymous wrote:What do you mean put out feelers? They asked or they didn't. Easiest way to say you're not interested. "Sorry that won't work for us this summer". Really not that difficult. No explanation, no excuses needed, just say no.

All of this.

It sounds like they may have been just making conversation if they didn't bring up transportation.

And just politely say no. It shouldn't be anywhere near this difficult.

Anonymous wrote:Don't people know driving other people's kids around is a paid job? Do bus drivers and monitors do that for free? No to mention its in your private vehicle.

Yep and they will sue you if something happens.

Anonymous wrote:If they ask, can you say "I'd love to but we our mornings are chaotic and we often don't go directly home after camp so I can't commit to a regular carpooling schedule. I know [insert your child's name here] will be thrilled to play with [insert other kid's name here] at camp though!!

This is way too long and gives people too many things to poke holes into to try to convince you to do it. I like short and sweet- “we can’t commit to any carpooling this summer but the kids are really looking forward to camp!”

“Thanks but we’re not going to do carpools this summer.” Then pivot to something else. “But the camp should be really fun for the kids. My Larlo is excited to be there with your Larlen.”

Don't people know driving other people's kids around is a paid job? Do bus drivers and monitors do that for free? No to mention its in your private vehicle.

Please learn to decline so your kids will know it's ok for them to say no. The exact words are far less important than developing the nerve.

Anonymous wrote:"it's a pandemic".
"i'd keeping things simple and not carpooling this summer because i don't know when our schedule might change".

Just be honest.

If you are worried about the pandemic you don't do in person.

2nd one is better.

"it's a pandemic".
"i'd keeping things simple and not carpooling this summer because i don't know when our schedule might change".

Just be honest.

Anonymous wrote:“Hell to the no. I am not driving your snotty, dirty, whiny kids around every day to and from camp. Even for money, I don’t want to do it because I find you and your kids annoying. Also, I have better stuff to do.”

Love, Mrs. Poo

Sometimes this does work best, sadly.