Anonymous
Post 03/30/2021 17:33     Subject: Electing not to breastfeed
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:OP, it's ok if you don't breastfeed, at all, even if it's just that you don't want to do it.


Agree. Never ask on DCUM about breastfeeding as 99% of women on here are breastfeeding zealouts and love to shame those who choose not to BF. A happy mother is best. you should do what you think is best for you.


You know what? I don't care what you do with your baby. But, if you ask for opinions and I have an opinion on breastfeeding than I will tell you that. Op should do what she wants and if she can't read advice and learn to dismiss it if she doesn't agree than life is going to be very difficult.
Anonymous
Post 03/30/2021 17:32     Subject: Electing not to breastfeed
It doesn't have to be all or nothing. We did mostly breastfeeding, but made sure we were doing one DH feeding a day of either breastmilk or formula so that the baby was used to the bottle. When I went back to work, I pumped, but we supplemented with formula.

I personally enjoyed breastfeeding because I felt it was easier than making and waning bottles at night. Ask a few friends, maybe, but whatever you decide will be fine!
Anonymous
Post 03/30/2021 17:31     Subject: Re:Electing not to breastfeed
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:+1 to the idea you can do both, or BF at first and then switch when it becomes annoying. I really enjoyed breastfeeding and didn't mind pumping. I ended up breastfeeding in some capacity until 20 months, but obviously DD was getting other food during a lot of that time. Toward the end it was just a nursing session in the morning to wake up together, which was nice. We also started a bottle at 3 weeks, on my LC's advice, so that DH could pitch in and so that we'd have no refusal issues when I returned to work.

There are many ways to bond with your baby but BF is a good one and if you're not turned off by the idea (only the logistics) I encourage you to try it. You can quit any time.


Good on your LC! I wish the broader breastfeeding community would recognize the importance of introducing a bottle and formula for those of us that WOH, instead of treating it like some dangerous thing. My postpartum doula didn't want me to pump even a little before 6 weeks and I was going back to work part-time at 8 weeks. She also said my partner shouldn't do night feedings.

It's so frustrating that so many breastfeeding advocates act like mothers and mothers alone must stay home with the baby for a year plus and do all night feedings. It's incredibly damaging and anti-feminist.


I think you are overstating this. When I breastfed not one advocate suggested that. It was the opposite for me. Everyone was trying to get me to formula feed and shamed me for breastfeeding in public ( discreetly)
Anonymous
Post 03/30/2021 17:22     Subject: Electing not to breastfeed
You all are way over-reacting. Who has shamed anyone on this thread? If the OP does not want to read about different suggestions or experiences relating to her post, why is she posting it on DCUM?

Some babies are breastfed, some are formula fed, some are a combo. If you don't want to discuss those possibilities, don't come on the thread.
Anonymous
Post 03/30/2021 17:22     Subject: Electing not to breastfeed
I didn’t breastfeed.

My DH did the middle of the night feeding every night, and he enjoyed that time.

No regrets.
Anonymous
Post 03/30/2021 17:18     Subject: Electing not to breastfeed
I nursed my first for 2 months and hated every second of it for many reasons. Deciding to stop was the hands down best choice I made for our family in those early days. I enjoyed my time with my son and being a mother much more after that. I chose to skip it altogether with our second and have zero regrets. A fed baby, however you chose to do it, and a happy mom is best.
Anonymous
Post 03/30/2021 17:12     Subject: Electing not to breastfeed
Anonymous wrote:OP, it's ok if you don't breastfeed, at all, even if it's just that you don't want to do it.


Agree. Never ask on DCUM about breastfeeding as 99% of women on here are breastfeeding zealouts and love to shame those who choose not to BF. A happy mother is best. you should do what you think is best for you.
Anonymous
Post 03/30/2021 16:25     Subject: Electing not to breastfeed
OP, it's ok if you don't breastfeed, at all, even if it's just that you don't want to do it.
Anonymous
Post 03/30/2021 15:37     Subject: Electing not to breastfeed
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Personally, I'd nurse while you are home, but let your spouse give bottles of pumped milk or formula so he can share that responsibility. And then just switch to formula when you return to work. It doesn't have to be all or nothing.


Hoe about that approach? Just BF while you are on leave. It is easy in the sense that you never have to worry about formula or bottles or anything and it is free. Big bonus is that is burns tons of calories and is protective of your health. THen switch to formula when you return to office.


This sentiment is one that really bothered me after I had my son. I’m sure PP means well but I did not find breastfeeding easy. It was uncomfortable, took a while to get a rhythm and my whole day revolved around feeding the baby. Formula feeding is much easier and I switched pretty early on. And I was one of those people that did not lose weight until after I stopped breastfeeding - sure you burn a ton of calories but you also have to eat a ton of calories to produce milk.


Ok. If BF turns out to be hard or op is gaining weight then that is fine. I don't think op started a thread about the topic just to get 50 posts saying the same thing. Wasn't the point to hear about different experiences, options and opinions?

I did not know about the calorie burn of producing milk before having a baby. It is useful info to consider. Consider does not mean it will or will not be the right choice. But it is something to learn about.
Anonymous
Post 03/30/2021 15:30     Subject: Electing not to breastfeed
Both of my babies were formula fed. Grew up healthy.
Anonymous
Post 03/30/2021 15:27     Subject: Electing not to breastfeed
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Personally, I'd nurse while you are home, but let your spouse give bottles of pumped milk or formula so he can share that responsibility. And then just switch to formula when you return to work. It doesn't have to be all or nothing.


Hoe about that approach? Just BF while you are on leave. It is easy in the sense that you never have to worry about formula or bottles or anything and it is free. Big bonus is that is burns tons of calories and is protective of your health. THen switch to formula when you return to office.


This sentiment is one that really bothered me after I had my son. I’m sure PP means well but I did not find breastfeeding easy. It was uncomfortable, took a while to get a rhythm and my whole day revolved around feeding the baby. Formula feeding is much easier and I switched pretty early on. And I was one of those people that did not lose weight until after I stopped breastfeeding - sure you burn a ton of calories but you also have to eat a ton of calories to produce milk.

I actually gained weight while breastfeeding!

OP, the only right decision is what works best for you. Everyone gets dealt a different hand, and what's easy to one person can be really difficult and stressful to another. I wish I quit breastfeeding earlier with my first, because it was really hard, and I struggled a lot to make it work, until I found that formula was the answer. With my second, pumping/breastfeeding has been really easy, and I'm still going strong. You never know until you get there, so my best advice is to not set any expectations, and just roll with it until you find what works for you.
Anonymous
Post 03/30/2021 15:18     Subject: Re:Electing not to breastfeed
I have a friend who elected not to breastfeed from before birth, and another who decided it wasn’t for them after two weeks. If you’re sure about it, you do you. There’s no doubt that nursing and pumping are more time and physically consuming. My MIL actually pressures me NOT to breastfeed because she didn’t (which I find super annoying and can only imagine how people feel being pressured to breastfeed).
Anonymous
Post 03/30/2021 15:12     Subject: Electing not to breastfeed
You’re deciding too early. Educate yourself on the pros and cons and wait to see once your child is here. You may feel very differently about how and what you want to feed your baby once he or she is born. Meet them first, give nursing a try, and see how it goes. It may seem like a hassle but so is formula. All of it is time consuming. That’s part of parenting. And while it is hard the time goes quickly, and you don’t get it back.
Anonymous
Post 03/30/2021 14:22     Subject: Electing not to breastfeed
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Personally, I'd nurse while you are home, but let your spouse give bottles of pumped milk or formula so he can share that responsibility. And then just switch to formula when you return to work. It doesn't have to be all or nothing.


Hoe about that approach? Just BF while you are on leave. It is easy in the sense that you never have to worry about formula or bottles or anything and it is free. Big bonus is that is burns tons of calories and is protective of your health. THen switch to formula when you return to office.


This sentiment is one that really bothered me after I had my son. I’m sure PP means well but I did not find breastfeeding easy. It was uncomfortable, took a while to get a rhythm and my whole day revolved around feeding the baby. Formula feeding is much easier and I switched pretty early on. And I was one of those people that did not lose weight until after I stopped breastfeeding - sure you burn a ton of calories but you also have to eat a ton of calories to produce milk.
Anonymous
Post 03/30/2021 13:59     Subject: Electing not to breastfeed
Anonymous wrote:Personally, I'd nurse while you are home, but let your spouse give bottles of pumped milk or formula so he can share that responsibility. And then just switch to formula when you return to work. It doesn't have to be all or nothing.


Hoe about that approach? Just BF while you are on leave. It is easy in the sense that you never have to worry about formula or bottles or anything and it is free. Big bonus is that is burns tons of calories and is protective of your health. THen switch to formula when you return to office.