Anonymous
Post 03/31/2021 13:30     Subject: Re:Unhappy, frustrated son
Anonymous wrote:Maybe competitive sports just aren't for your kid. Maybe he should be a writer or a broadcaster. Playing isn't for everyone. Its ok very few of us have children who are above average. If the abuse is that bad maybe your husband should step in a defend his child face to face with the coach.


5/5. Best IAI score I've ever seen - and in just two lines. Well done!
Anonymous
Post 03/31/2021 13:26     Subject: Re:Unhappy, frustrated son
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:What is the exact abuse going on. Is it physical or strictly verbal ? Physical no question confront him. Verbally is more vague. I think many will agree the travel soccer culture tends to have more soft parent protected players than almost any other sport. Parents are more well off in general and the children dont experience as much adversity as others. Therefore the sheltered snowflake model is born. Dont get me wrong I think everyone would love to raise their children in such a safe environment. The drawback is when they are faced with strong adversity their world is destroyed.


This is total crap. Coaches don't make great players, players make great players. Listen to Pulisic's dad talk sometime. The reason his son became an elite player was his own drive to make himself a better player, practicing for hours outside alone. The best players all have this in common, they work on it on their own. Not they had some jerk coach screaming in their face that they suck when they were 10 years old.

Kids can face adversity many ways without being put down by a coach at age 10 FFS. This is EXACTLY the problem with youth sports. It is a SPORT, for 95% of them they won't play it in college, it is for FUN.


The problem is travel soccer is an insulated sport almost where kids are treated with kid gloves. Youth sports aren't like that across the board. When kids are babied all the time they grow up with thin skin. My guess is this kid has never even been in as much as a fist fight with another kid. Im sure even when he does suck and loses a game he gets the praise of a winner from mommy never learning from the loss.


Not the OP - but to say "I am sure" about something where you cannot possibly know the true situation is just silly. You may be correct, and I would certainly agree that many kids today are too sheltered, but you may also be completely off base.
Anonymous
Post 03/31/2021 13:05     Subject: Re:Unhappy, frustrated son
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:What is the exact abuse going on. Is it physical or strictly verbal ? Physical no question confront him. Verbally is more vague. I think many will agree the travel soccer culture tends to have more soft parent protected players than almost any other sport. Parents are more well off in general and the children dont experience as much adversity as others. Therefore the sheltered snowflake model is born. Dont get me wrong I think everyone would love to raise their children in such a safe environment. The drawback is when they are faced with strong adversity their world is destroyed.


This is total crap. Coaches don't make great players, players make great players. Listen to Pulisic's dad talk sometime. The reason his son became an elite player was his own drive to make himself a better player, practicing for hours outside alone. The best players all have this in common, they work on it on their own. Not they had some jerk coach screaming in their face that they suck when they were 10 years old.

Kids can face adversity many ways without being put down by a coach at age 10 FFS. This is EXACTLY the problem with youth sports. It is a SPORT, for 95% of them they won't play it in college, it is for FUN.


Genetics played a big role both parents D1 athletes. He also had access to many amenities played top teams in his area. If you think he never had his ass ripped by a coach I'm sure you're wrong.
Anonymous
Post 03/31/2021 12:57     Subject: Re:Unhappy, frustrated son
Maybe competitive sports just aren't for your kid. Maybe he should be a writer or a broadcaster. Playing isn't for everyone. Its ok very few of us have children who are above average. If the abuse is that bad maybe your husband should step in a defend his child face to face with the coach.
Anonymous
Post 03/31/2021 12:50     Subject: Re:Unhappy, frustrated son
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:What is the exact abuse going on. Is it physical or strictly verbal ? Physical no question confront him. Verbally is more vague. I think many will agree the travel soccer culture tends to have more soft parent protected players than almost any other sport. Parents are more well off in general and the children dont experience as much adversity as others. Therefore the sheltered snowflake model is born. Dont get me wrong I think everyone would love to raise their children in such a safe environment. The drawback is when they are faced with strong adversity their world is destroyed.


This is total crap. Coaches don't make great players, players make great players. Listen to Pulisic's dad talk sometime. The reason his son became an elite player was his own drive to make himself a better player, practicing for hours outside alone. The best players all have this in common, they work on it on their own. Not they had some jerk coach screaming in their face that they suck when they were 10 years old.

Kids can face adversity many ways without being put down by a coach at age 10 FFS. This is EXACTLY the problem with youth sports. It is a SPORT, for 95% of them they won't play it in college, it is for FUN.


The problem is travel soccer is an insulated sport almost where kids are treated with kid gloves. Youth sports aren't like that across the board. When kids are babied all the time they grow up with thin skin. My guess is this kid has never even been in as much as a fist fight with another kid. Im sure even when he does suck and loses a game he gets the praise of a winner from mommy never learning from the loss.
Anonymous
Post 03/31/2021 12:50     Subject: Re:Unhappy, frustrated son
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:What is the exact abuse going on. Is it physical or strictly verbal ? Physical no question confront him. Verbally is more vague. I think many will agree the travel soccer culture tends to have more soft parent protected players than almost any other sport. Parents are more well off in general and the children dont experience as much adversity as others. Therefore the sheltered snowflake model is born. Dont get me wrong I think everyone would love to raise their children in such a safe environment. The drawback is when they are faced with strong adversity their world is destroyed.


This is total crap. Coaches don't make great players, players make great players. Listen to Pulisic's dad talk sometime. The reason his son became an elite player was his own drive to make himself a better player, practicing for hours outside alone. The best players all have this in common, they work on it on their own. Not they had some jerk coach screaming in their face that they suck when they were 10 years old.

Kids can face adversity many ways without being put down by a coach at age 10 FFS. This is EXACTLY the problem with youth sports. It is a SPORT, for 95% of them they won't play it in college, it is for FUN.


Nitpicking - team sports were not invented for fun, although they work better when they are fun and therefore they should be fun. They were invented so kids could experience working together in a team and learn from that experience. Either way, an abusive coach is detracting from the experience and I agree that the poster who somehow thinks an abusive coach is helping children by accustoming them to adversity is misguided.
Anonymous
Post 03/31/2021 11:18     Subject: Re:Unhappy, frustrated son
Anonymous wrote:What is the exact abuse going on. Is it physical or strictly verbal ? Physical no question confront him. Verbally is more vague. I think many will agree the travel soccer culture tends to have more soft parent protected players than almost any other sport. Parents are more well off in general and the children dont experience as much adversity as others. Therefore the sheltered snowflake model is born. Dont get me wrong I think everyone would love to raise their children in such a safe environment. The drawback is when they are faced with strong adversity their world is destroyed.


This is total crap. Coaches don't make great players, players make great players. Listen to Pulisic's dad talk sometime. The reason his son became an elite player was his own drive to make himself a better player, practicing for hours outside alone. The best players all have this in common, they work on it on their own. Not they had some jerk coach screaming in their face that they suck when they were 10 years old.

Kids can face adversity many ways without being put down by a coach at age 10 FFS. This is EXACTLY the problem with youth sports. It is a SPORT, for 95% of them they won't play it in college, it is for FUN.
Anonymous
Post 03/31/2021 11:03     Subject: Re:Unhappy, frustrated son
What is the exact abuse going on. Is it physical or strictly verbal ? Physical no question confront him. Verbally is more vague. I think many will agree the travel soccer culture tends to have more soft parent protected players than almost any other sport. Parents are more well off in general and the children dont experience as much adversity as others. Therefore the sheltered snowflake model is born. Dont get me wrong I think everyone would love to raise their children in such a safe environment. The drawback is when they are faced with strong adversity their world is destroyed.
Anonymous
Post 03/31/2021 10:43     Subject: Unhappy, frustrated son
DTMFA

That’s the learning experience your son needs — that abusive behavior is wrong, and Mom & Dad will back him up when he says it makes him not want to play.

JFC. Your son is making up injuries and begging to stay home and do homework. How many more red flags do you need?
Anonymous
Post 03/31/2021 10:42     Subject: Re:Unhappy, frustrated son
It may be that your kid is either hitting that age where many leave the game for whatever reasons. Or it maybe that your kid sees he isn't as good as he used to be and thats why. To think of all the kids at the club this coach has it out for just your kids is a extreme. Unless your kid ha so much talent and the coach is angry that he isn't using it. Is it a personal vendetta with you as parents? Are you too talkative , disruptive, or coaching from sidelines? Is your kid on time and present at all trainings and pre game times?
Anonymous
Post 03/31/2021 10:19     Subject: Re:Unhappy, frustrated son
Trust me when I say at that age we had a similar experience with my son and it honestly ruined his love for the game. We had discussions with the club over the coach's behavior and he was let go. That said the damage was done and even with two great coaches over the next 4 years he just never had his heart in it and plans on quitting next year.

Don't put up with a coach who makes your child hate the game at that age, period. It is soccer, there are plenty of other leagues and teams for him to play on that don't make him hate the game.
Anonymous
Post 03/30/2021 15:05     Subject: Re:Unhappy, frustrated son
Is your kid a starter? Maybe the coach is just trying to find a way to raise your kids game.
Anonymous
Post 03/30/2021 10:19     Subject: Re:Unhappy, frustrated son
If you knew this coach was a "lunatic" and still the kid decided to play on this team, then I'd want to know exactly why you signed him up for this team, and what *he* thought would be the benefit.


No, of course not. He has played for the same club since he started in U8. He has been assigned different coaches prior to this guy. They were all fine.
Anonymous
Post 03/30/2021 10:18     Subject: Re:Unhappy, frustrated son
he's not going to say which club b/c it will out her.

Will your coach be the same next year? Try outs are starting now so I'd consider your optinons.


We've unfortunately been with this coach for two years. Multiple people have left after last year (meaning that they quit playing travel soccer, not that they moved to another team).

We are definitely trying out elsewhere in the fall, just to see what our options are. I really can't take the financial hit of moving him to another travel team this spring (can't pay for two teams for that season).
Anonymous
Post 03/30/2021 09:50     Subject: Re:Unhappy, frustrated son
Yeah I agree if multiple kids are feeling its so bad they want to leave it might be the coach. If its just your kid and maybe one other. Then chances are its your kid who cant take criticism. Maybe he needs to face some adversity on his own a learn some valuable life lesson. You cant hold his hand thru life. The sooner he faces life outside the protective parent bubble the better. Im not trying to pick on you or your child. The reality is most interactions you kid has in life won't be as loving and protecting as with the parents. There is a fine line between guiding your kids and sheltering them.