Anonymous
Post 03/23/2021 10:40     Subject: Brother in law and His girlfriend proclaim DH’s family racist this on social media.
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Why not trust that a woman that represents a minority knows better what is racist and what is not?


Just because someone is offended by something does not de facto make the offender a racist person. People are offended by all sorts of things but we can't let their subjective experience define our objective reality


That sounds like what a racist would say to defend themselves.
Anonymous
Post 03/23/2021 10:38     Subject: Re:Brother in law and His girlfriend proclaim DH’s family racist this on social media.
I didn’t know he was racist before reading this thread. If I found out about it after wearing the costume I would absolutely apologize to SIL (but also think maybe as a family member she or my brother could have said “hey did you guys know...?”)
Anonymous
Post 03/23/2021 10:38     Subject: Brother in law and His girlfriend proclaim DH’s family racist this on social media.
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Joe Exotic used strong racist language while filming the doc. It was cut out. He is a racist. You dressed up as a racist.


So, if all I saw was the documentary, and not any of the stuff on social media, I wouldn't know that he used this kind of language? So I might not be aware that he was such a racist? Would I still be racist if I dressed up like him, not knowing about the rants and offensive language?

Like, instead of saying that OP is racist, why not point out, "Hey, you might not know this, but JE uses really graphic, offensive, and racist language. They cut it out of the documentary, but there are lots of videos of him saying truly awful things." Then OP and her husband, if they are normal, decent people, would say, "Oh, wow, no, I didn't know. We definitely won't be dressing up like him again! Thanks for telling us; I think we'll take down the photo." Instead of "He's racist, so you're racist."


OP's first post said that SIL wrote that 'it' was racist (not that OP/DH were racist). OP was silent and then left the text thread. My guess is that there was plenty of opportunity for OP and her husband to say "Oh, wow, no, I didn't know. We definitely won't be dressing up like him again! Thanks for telling us; I think we'll take down the photo" to solve the problem. In fact, it's still ok to say that!
Anonymous
Post 03/23/2021 10:36     Subject: Brother in law and His girlfriend proclaim DH’s family racist this on social media.
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Why not trust that a woman that represents a minority knows better what is racist and what is not?


Just because someone is offended by something does not de facto make the offender a racist person. People are offended by all sorts of things but we can't let their subjective experience define our objective reality

So dressing like a person that rants about injustice of not being able to use N word is not racist?


I didn’t know until today that Joe Exotic is a racist. It’s unreasonable to think everyone should know that. I don’t follow celebrity news, and neither do a lot of other people.

I agree.
Anonymous
Post 03/23/2021 10:34     Subject: Brother in law and His girlfriend proclaim DH’s family racist this on social media.
Anonymous wrote:Joe Exotic used strong racist language while filming the doc. It was cut out. He is a racist. You dressed up as a racist.


So, if all I saw was the documentary, and not any of the stuff on social media, I wouldn't know that he used this kind of language? So I might not be aware that he was such a racist? Would I still be racist if I dressed up like him, not knowing about the rants and offensive language?

Like, instead of saying that OP is racist, why not point out, "Hey, you might not know this, but JE uses really graphic, offensive, and racist language. They cut it out of the documentary, but there are lots of videos of him saying truly awful things." Then OP and her husband, if they are normal, decent people, would say, "Oh, wow, no, I didn't know. We definitely won't be dressing up like him again! Thanks for telling us; I think we'll take down the photo." Instead of "He's racist, so you're racist."

Anonymous
Post 03/23/2021 10:33     Subject: Brother in law and His girlfriend proclaim DH’s family racist this on social media.
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I mean if you dressed as David Duke, or Nathan Bedford Forrest, would that not be racist?


For Halloween? Is it racist to dress as a racist person for Halloween? Also, Tiger King may be racist (I don't actually know that much about the guy, and I didn't watch the documentary) but is he known primarily for being racist? Like, a lot of people are racist, but that's not *why* people choose to dress up like them for Halloween.

I'm not saying that OP and her husband are totally innocent, but it's possible that they just dressed up like a tacky, highly recognizable character from pop culture, maybe without knowing all the details of that person's life and views.

So you did not read or open the links above?


No, and probably OP and her husband didn't either. The issue is what they knew when they decided on those costumes, not what random people on the internet knew (or learned later).

Well now she knows! She should send an apology and explain her ignorance.
Anonymous
Post 03/23/2021 10:31     Subject: Brother in law and His girlfriend proclaim DH’s family racist this on social media.
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Why not trust that a woman that represents a minority knows better what is racist and what is not?


Just because someone is offended by something does not de facto make the offender a racist person. People are offended by all sorts of things but we can't let their subjective experience define our objective reality

So dressing like a person that rants about injustice of not being able to use N word is not racist?


I didn’t know until today that Joe Exotic is a racist. It’s unreasonable to think everyone should know that. I don’t follow celebrity news, and neither do a lot of other people.
Anonymous
Post 03/23/2021 10:31     Subject: Brother in law and His girlfriend proclaim DH’s family racist this on social media.
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I mean if you dressed as David Duke, or Nathan Bedford Forrest, would that not be racist?


For Halloween? Is it racist to dress as a racist person for Halloween? Also, Tiger King may be racist (I don't actually know that much about the guy, and I didn't watch the documentary) but is he known primarily for being racist? Like, a lot of people are racist, but that's not *why* people choose to dress up like them for Halloween.

I'm not saying that OP and her husband are totally innocent, but it's possible that they just dressed up like a tacky, highly recognizable character from pop culture, maybe without knowing all the details of that person's life and views.

I don't know Tiger King either but if OP and her husband mistakenly dressed up as people who have done all the racist things the other poster is saying (I'm not clicking on the links; I'm assuming that's accurate for the sake of this post) then the proper response is to apologize to the offended family members.
Anonymous
Post 03/23/2021 10:26     Subject: Brother in law and His girlfriend proclaim DH’s family racist this on social media.
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:You are racist op, and ignorant about being racist. Just bcs you don't think you are racist, doesn't mean you are not.


Please enlighten us as to how on earth the OP is racist.

OP, this is why social media is so toxic. The good news is that she and BIL are exposing themselves for the idiots they are. You don't need to say a word. Just let it all play out. The more they post, the more people see they're ridiculous.

I'm part Japanese. I have no problem with geisha costumes or any other depiction of Asian people at Halloween. Some microaggressions can be really burdensome, but this isn't one of them.


I posted links above! They dressed up as a confirmed racist. Caught on film, you can see it all over YouTube. Would you dress as a person that is known for hate speech towards Japanese people?
Anonymous
Post 03/23/2021 10:25     Subject: Brother in law and His girlfriend proclaim DH’s family racist this on social media.
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I mean if you dressed as David Duke, or Nathan Bedford Forrest, would that not be racist?


For Halloween? Is it racist to dress as a racist person for Halloween? Also, Tiger King may be racist (I don't actually know that much about the guy, and I didn't watch the documentary) but is he known primarily for being racist? Like, a lot of people are racist, but that's not *why* people choose to dress up like them for Halloween.

I'm not saying that OP and her husband are totally innocent, but it's possible that they just dressed up like a tacky, highly recognizable character from pop culture, maybe without knowing all the details of that person's life and views.

So you did not read or open the links above?


No, and probably OP and her husband didn't either. The issue is what they knew when they decided on those costumes, not what random people on the internet knew (or learned later).
Anonymous
Post 03/23/2021 10:25     Subject: Brother in law and His girlfriend proclaim DH’s family racist this on social media.
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Why not trust that a woman that represents a minority knows better what is racist and what is not?


Just because someone is offended by something does not de facto make the offender a racist person. People are offended by all sorts of things but we can't let their subjective experience define our objective reality

So dressing like a person that rants about injustice of not being able to use N word is not racist?
Anonymous
Post 03/23/2021 10:24     Subject: Brother in law and His girlfriend proclaim DH’s family racist this on social media.
I suspect that OP and her husband aren't as innocent as they pretend to be, but it's also possible that it was other family members who really threw the fuel on the fire. Like, OP could have just explained the costume and said that she didn't realize it would be offensive. But instead, it sounds like OP and her husband just left without saying anything, and the rest of the family attacked the BIL/girlfriend. And then it just kept festering, and everyone probably took turns adding to it with more accusations and insults. The BIL/GF shouldn't lie about the family's actions, but I think everyone needs to learn better ways of managing conflict.
Anonymous
Post 03/23/2021 10:24     Subject: Brother in law and His girlfriend proclaim DH’s family racist this on social media.
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I mean if you dressed as David Duke, or Nathan Bedford Forrest, would that not be racist?


For Halloween? Is it racist to dress as a racist person for Halloween? Also, Tiger King may be racist (I don't actually know that much about the guy, and I didn't watch the documentary) but is he known primarily for being racist? Like, a lot of people are racist, but that's not *why* people choose to dress up like them for Halloween.

I'm not saying that OP and her husband are totally innocent, but it's possible that they just dressed up like a tacky, highly recognizable character from pop culture, maybe without knowing all the details of that person's life and views.

So you did not read or open the links above?
Anonymous
Post 03/23/2021 10:20     Subject: Brother in law and His girlfriend proclaim DH’s family racist this on social media.
Anonymous wrote:Why not trust that a woman that represents a minority knows better what is racist and what is not?


Just because someone is offended by something does not de facto make the offender a racist person. People are offended by all sorts of things but we can't let their subjective experience define our objective reality
Anonymous
Post 03/23/2021 10:18     Subject: Brother in law and His girlfriend proclaim DH’s family racist this on social media.
Anonymous wrote:I mean if you dressed as David Duke, or Nathan Bedford Forrest, would that not be racist?


For Halloween? Is it racist to dress as a racist person for Halloween? Also, Tiger King may be racist (I don't actually know that much about the guy, and I didn't watch the documentary) but is he known primarily for being racist? Like, a lot of people are racist, but that's not *why* people choose to dress up like them for Halloween.

I'm not saying that OP and her husband are totally innocent, but it's possible that they just dressed up like a tacky, highly recognizable character from pop culture, maybe without knowing all the details of that person's life and views.