Anonymous
Post 03/21/2021 10:57     Subject: Playdate - did we do something wrong?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:A family just moved in down the street with a daughter the same age (4) as DD.
I met the mom and we traded #s, and I texted her this week to set up a playdate. I suggested meeting at a park near our house but they suggested meeting in their yard. It was hard to land on a time.
We settled on "around 1pm." At 1:10, after DD had changed her pants 100 times, I said, "On our way!" We walked the 60 seconds over to their house. The other girl ignored DD and it was very awkward. Then she went inside after 5 minutes and we were left kind of standing there. The mom did not try to go back in and cajole her out.
She said, oh sorry, she was thrown because you were 10 minutes late and really likes a schedule...We ended up staying talking to the mom for a bit and then left.

Now I feel really weird and bad??!?!? Did we do something wrong? Should I reach out again? In my mind, "around 1" in preschool time is within 15 or so minutes and it's tough to get kids out the door?


Why did you let your kid "change her pants 100 times"? My kid knows that we respect others' time and keep our plans. After one pant change, we'd be out the door.


Because kids are weird? If we are OK with a 4 year old being a stickler for time, then we should be ok with one who needs to change pants.


Maybe your kid is "weird," but my kid may want to change clothes a lot and we are supposed to be out the door to honor plans, I step in and do this thing called "parenting." I would say, "one different pick, and then we are leaving." It's almost as if its me, and not a 4yo, who runs the show.


Some people run their homes like dictatorships and some don't. Different strokes.
Anonymous
Post 03/21/2021 10:52     Subject: Re:Playdate - did we do something wrong?
I suggested meeting at a park near our house but they suggested meeting in their yard. It was hard to land on a time.


Really sounds like like the mom really had little or no interest and couldn't come out and say it.
Anonymous
Post 03/21/2021 10:46     Subject: Playdate - did we do something wrong?
She sounds nuts. Avoid.
Anonymous
Post 03/21/2021 10:46     Subject: Re:Playdate - did we do something wrong?
Well, if her daughter really likes a schedule she should have said 1 pm period. And when you were delayed you should have texted to let her know. Maybe she was lukewarm about the whole thing to begin with though.
Anonymous
Post 03/21/2021 10:45     Subject: Playdate - did we do something wrong?
The kid only knew you were late because the MOM made a big deal out of it. How would a little kid know you were late otherwise? Now you know. Be punctual with this mom or just drop her.
Anonymous
Post 03/21/2021 10:42     Subject: Re:Playdate - did we do something wrong?
NP. I think other mom was a little rigid/weird, but I would keep an open mind and I’d be fine with a request from them to try again.

I think both kids may have been over-excited, which causes a grouchy crash.

I agree that kids will eventually meet up in school and may do better (or not!) at that time.
Anonymous
Post 03/21/2021 10:42     Subject: Playdate - did we do something wrong?
OP texted that they were in their way at 1:10 so she showed up at 1:15 or later for a 1 pm play date. The other family had to be ready at 1. Most likely the other 4 year old had been waiting 15 minutes which is a lot turca kid that age.
Anonymous
Post 03/21/2021 10:40     Subject: Playdate - did we do something wrong?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:A family just moved in down the street with a daughter the same age (4) as DD.
I met the mom and we traded #s, and I texted her this week to set up a playdate. I suggested meeting at a park near our house but they suggested meeting in their yard. It was hard to land on a time.
We settled on "around 1pm." At 1:10, after DD had changed her pants 100 times, I said, "On our way!" We walked the 60 seconds over to their house. The other girl ignored DD and it was very awkward. Then she went inside after 5 minutes and we were left kind of standing there. The mom did not try to go back in and cajole her out.
She said, oh sorry, she was thrown because you were 10 minutes late and really likes a schedule...We ended up staying talking to the mom for a bit and then left.

Now I feel really weird and bad??!?!? Did we do something wrong? Should I reach out again? In my mind, "around 1" in preschool time is within 15 or so minutes and it's tough to get kids out the door?


Why did you let your kid "change her pants 100 times"? My kid knows that we respect others' time and keep our plans. After one pant change, we'd be out the door.


Because kids are weird? If we are OK with a 4 year old being a stickler for time, then we should be ok with one who needs to change pants.


Maybe your kid is "weird," but my kid may want to change clothes a lot and we are supposed to be out the door to honor plans, I step in and do this thing called "parenting." I would say, "one different pick, and then we are leaving." It's almost as if its me, and not a 4yo, who runs the show.


Deep breaths.
Anonymous
Post 03/21/2021 10:39     Subject: Re:Playdate - did we do something wrong?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:It took 10 minutes to settle on a pair of pants? Sounds like a one and done play date and that’s that.

So dcum. Why write a neighbor off so quickly?


Because some of us have been burned enough by flaky, selfish, unreliable people. Our circle is full of trustworthy, respectful, reliable people who have their shit together. That's who we spend our time with.
Anonymous
Post 03/21/2021 10:39     Subject: Re:Playdate - did we do something wrong?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:It took 10 minutes to settle on a pair of pants? Sounds like a one and done play date and that’s that.

So dcum. Why write a neighbor off so quickly?


Because of the apparent weirdness in the response. Maybe one more try and then leave it alone.
Anonymous
Post 03/21/2021 10:37     Subject: Playdate - did we do something wrong?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:A family just moved in down the street with a daughter the same age (4) as DD.
I met the mom and we traded #s, and I texted her this week to set up a playdate. I suggested meeting at a park near our house but they suggested meeting in their yard. It was hard to land on a time.
We settled on "around 1pm." At 1:10, after DD had changed her pants 100 times, I said, "On our way!" We walked the 60 seconds over to their house. The other girl ignored DD and it was very awkward. Then she went inside after 5 minutes and we were left kind of standing there. The mom did not try to go back in and cajole her out.
She said, oh sorry, she was thrown because you were 10 minutes late and really likes a schedule...We ended up staying talking to the mom for a bit and then left.

Now I feel really weird and bad??!?!? Did we do something wrong? Should I reach out again? In my mind, "around 1" in preschool time is within 15 or so minutes and it's tough to get kids out the door?


Why did you let your kid "change her pants 100 times"? My kid knows that we respect others' time and keep our plans. After one pant change, we'd be out the door.


Because kids are weird? If we are OK with a 4 year old being a stickler for time, then we should be ok with one who needs to change pants.


Maybe your kid is "weird," but my kid may want to change clothes a lot and we are supposed to be out the door to honor plans, I step in and do this thing called "parenting." I would say, "one different pick, and then we are leaving." It's almost as if its me, and not a 4yo, who runs the show.
Anonymous
Post 03/21/2021 10:36     Subject: Playdate - did we do something wrong?
Anonymous wrote:I personally would never be late the very first time I was getting together with someone. I think fluid friendships are built over time, when everyone has proven to be respectful of time and reliable.

I wouldn't hold 10 minutes against anyone, but 20 minutes the first time we were meeting up with no text? I would be kind and honor the play date, but wouldn't make plans with you again. Too many rude, flaky people in this world who think their time is more valuable than mine. I spend my time with considerate, reliable people.

It was “around 1.” OP wasn’t late.
Anonymous
Post 03/21/2021 10:35     Subject: Re:Playdate - did we do something wrong?
Anonymous wrote:It took 10 minutes to settle on a pair of pants? Sounds like a one and done play date and that’s that.

So dcum. Why write a neighbor off so quickly?
Anonymous
Post 03/21/2021 10:34     Subject: Playdate - did we do something wrong?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:A family just moved in down the street with a daughter the same age (4) as DD.
I met the mom and we traded #s, and I texted her this week to set up a playdate. I suggested meeting at a park near our house but they suggested meeting in their yard. It was hard to land on a time.
We settled on "around 1pm." At 1:10, after DD had changed her pants 100 times, I said, "On our way!" We walked the 60 seconds over to their house. The other girl ignored DD and it was very awkward. Then she went inside after 5 minutes and we were left kind of standing there. The mom did not try to go back in and cajole her out.
She said, oh sorry, she was thrown because you were 10 minutes late and really likes a schedule...We ended up staying talking to the mom for a bit and then left.

Now I feel really weird and bad??!?!? Did we do something wrong? Should I reach out again? In my mind, "around 1" in preschool time is within 15 or so minutes and it's tough to get kids out the door?


Why did you let your kid "change her pants 100 times"? My kid knows that we respect others' time and keep our plans. After one pant change, we'd be out the door.


Because kids are weird? If we are OK with a 4 year old being a stickler for time, then we should be ok with one who needs to change pants.
Anonymous
Post 03/21/2021 10:31     Subject: Re:Playdate - did we do something wrong?
It took 10 minutes to settle on a pair of pants? Sounds like a one and done play date and that’s that.