Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Anyone who can leave a 3-4 month old baby to cry is a sociopath, point blank. Shame on you OP.

Not OP but no it’s not. I sleep trained early with both my kids and we are very loving. We all needed sleep. Kids are great sleepers and happy. We’re better parents because we are getting sleep. Most babies will cry much longer when you add it up without sleep training. It’s more detrimental for a baby do be waking up and crying multiple times a night for many months or year than crying for the time it takes to sleep train.

+1. This is my philosophy too. Train them young and you'll avoid a lot of angst!

I mean, sure, in the sense that the kid is learning not to cry. Studies on cortisol levels of infants show sleep training doesn't take away the *urge* to cry. You're teaching them self control, essentially. And this isn't necessarily a bad thing when done at the correct ages. But the idea of "oh just do it earlier, it's better" using methods *designed* for older babies is not sound. Even Ferber says 4 months is the earliest--and admits its maybe even not appropriate for some babies until 6m.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Anyone who can leave a 3-4 month old baby to cry is a sociopath, point blank. Shame on you OP.

Not OP but no it’s not. I sleep trained early with both my kids and we are very loving. We all needed sleep. Kids are great sleepers and happy. We’re better parents because we are getting sleep. Most babies will cry much longer when you add it up without sleep training. It’s more detrimental for a baby do be waking up and crying multiple times a night for many months or year than crying for the time it takes to sleep train.

+1. This is my philosophy too. Train them young and you'll avoid a lot of angst!

Anonymous wrote:We sleep trained at 13 weeks. Our pediatrician at the time (part of Tribeca Pediatrics in NYC) is famous for pushing sleep training at 12 weeks. Definitely consult with your ped beforehand as your kid needs to be at least 12 pounds, etc. to start sleep training. Assuming that there are no medical reasons to not sleep train, I'd do it. We're actually doing it again with #2 when he/she arrives in a few months.

Here's the deal:

The first night is the hardest. We put our daughter down at 8:30, since our ped said to put her down/get her up at a time that worked best for us (yes, you do not need to wake up at 5 am every day!). My daughter cried for 40 agonizing minutes the first night. My husband was running at the time, so he doesn't remember it being bad (because he wasn't there!). I sat outside the room staring at the monitor and balling eyes out silently. I remember texting him "I can't do this! We will scar her!" blah blah. Anyway, she stopped after about 40 minutes... and started sleeping. She cried a little here and there during the first night, but slept through the night without issue. We got her up the next morning at 8:30 and she was happy. It got easier every day and at day three she stopped crying after we put her down. Her naps started to consolidate. Heck, she started napping on a schedule, which had never happened prior. At present, she is 22 months and still sleeps from 8:30 pm to 8:30 am (today she woke up at 7:45, but this happens 2-3 times a month... Definitely not all the time).

Just stick with it and for us, the cry it out method was what worked. My kid is not the type of kid who deals well with back-and-forth. If she sees us leave and come back (in any scenario) it makes her anxious and she thinks that she can get us to come back. That's not good for her or for us. You're in control here, not your child. Taking the negotiation out of bedtime makes it enjoyable for everyone. We do dinner, bath, call grandparents/eat yogurt snack (when I was breastfeeding, we replaced the yogurt with milk), brush teeth, read books, sing with low lights, and then bed. The pre-bedtime routine is important, but your will do make sleep training work is also important. Don't make it fight!

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Anyone who can leave a 3-4 month old baby to cry is a sociopath, point blank. Shame on you OP.

Not OP but no it’s not. I sleep trained early with both my kids and we are very loving. We all needed sleep. Kids are great sleepers and happy. We’re better parents because we are getting sleep. Most babies will cry much longer when you add it up without sleep training. It’s more detrimental for a baby do be waking up and crying multiple times a night for many months or year than crying for the time it takes to sleep train.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sleep training means teaching the baby to sleep independently, NOT cutting out night feedings.

We taught our baby from the moment we brought him home that he can fall asleep independently.

It was actually much easier than having him cry at 4 months, because when you first bring the baby home, he does not know that he can fall asleep on you/rocked. He will basically fall asleep the way you teach him. He only ever fussed for 2-3 minutes at a time initially - sometimes no, sometimes yes. Same after he woke up to eat at night (he woke up to eat up until around 3 months because he needed food, but he would go back to sleep by himself after the feeding, no rocking, etc.), we would put him back into his bed. There he would fuss for 2-3 minutes sometimes and would then fall asleep. There were a few times where he fussed for more than 3 minutes, we would go stroke him and shhhh him so that he knows we are there, and he would then fall asleep. So much easier to teach this skill from birth. Again, has nothing to do with not feeding. In fact, at night, when he woke up, we knew he was waking up because he WAS HUNGRY and not just unable to connect sleep cycles on his own.

Bawhahahahaha. You had an easy baby. I had a shrieking banshee vomit machine.

Anonymous wrote:Sleep training means teaching the baby to sleep independently, NOT cutting out night feedings.

We taught our baby from the moment we brought him home that he can fall asleep independently.

It was actually much easier than having him cry at 4 months, because when you first bring the baby home, he does not know that he can fall asleep on you/rocked. He will basically fall asleep the way you teach him. He only ever fussed for 2-3 minutes at a time initially - sometimes no, sometimes yes. Same after he woke up to eat at night (he woke up to eat up until around 3 months because he needed food, but he would go back to sleep by himself after the feeding, no rocking, etc.), we would put him back into his bed. There he would fuss for 2-3 minutes sometimes and would then fall asleep. There were a few times where he fussed for more than 3 minutes, we would go stroke him and shhhh him so that he knows we are there, and he would then fall asleep. So much easier to teach this skill from birth. Again, has nothing to do with not feeding. In fact, at night, when he woke up, we knew he was waking up because he WAS HUNGRY and not just unable to connect sleep cycles on his own.

Anonymous wrote:Stop holding your baby to sleep for naps. You're creating bad sleeping habits.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, is the baby still in your room? Can you move him to another, very dark room where you’d still hear him? We moved ours into the walk in closet at about 4 months and everyone slept better.

OP here. We moved him into his crib in his room with blackout shades and white noise. It still didn’t help.