Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We have three kids - K, 4th and 6th. All three have sports and DH will usually just pick up one for practice while others stay home. Sometimes I have to do it and lug all three. And what age is it appropriate for oldest to stay home and watch youngest? Our oldest will be 7th next year. She's mature for her age and definitely our responsible one, though we've yet to leave her at home yet. I'm looking forward to a day when I'm not dragging everyone out together.

NEVER! Siblings are not their children and should not be giving you free childcare of any kind. The only way to ask them is to offer them to pay them the same hourly rate as you would pay any other sitter.

OP here. That's insane to me. We're a family. We take care of each other, and that's how it's been done for eons. You may disagree but that is not how we will be doing it in this household. Our children have responsibilities just like we do. And to be honest, I don't want to be near kids who don't learn early on that we take care of each other. Appreciate your comments but that is not what I'm debating here. It's only the age that is in question.

Will your younger children be cleaning the house(or the first born’s room) while the older one babysits?

They all clean the house anyway so I don't need to set aside a special time for that. And no, each child is responsible for his/her own room. And no, I do not assume that the youngest is capable of the same tasks as the oldest. Why on Earth would I assume that?

It was a rhetorical question. Your younger children are obviously getting special treatment. It’s an “Everybody hates Chris” shit.

Yeah, I'm sorry your family treated you like crap, but that's not normal. An older child watching the younger so mom can go run an errand for 20 minutes that probably neither kid would want to go to anyway is not taking advantage of anyone and is not special treatment. WTF did your family do to you???

Yes, it is. Your first born deserves a better mother. Probably all of your kids do.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OMG the people on this board are nuts. I have three kids similarly aged to the OP. Your 12 year old can babysit for other families, FFS! He/she can watch a sibling for 20 minutes while you run an errand. My 12-year-old will babysit while DH and I grab a quick dinner nearby. We pay him $12/hour for that. I do not pay him if I’m running out for 20 mins and his siblings are literally on their iPads.

I do an incredible amount of stuff for all my kids. Hours and hours and hours of work. And they lead very privileged lives, with piano lessons and expensive sports teams and iPads and xboxes. When of age, they can help out with keeping the household running.

It is your obligation to take care of your children but it is not their
To give you free childcare. This is who
h the eldest child frequently hates younger siblings.

+1

Anonymous wrote:OMG the people on this board are nuts. I have three kids similarly aged to the OP. Your 12 year old can babysit for other families, FFS! He/she can watch a sibling for 20 minutes while you run an errand. My 12-year-old will babysit while DH and I grab a quick dinner nearby. We pay him $12/hour for that. I do not pay him if I’m running out for 20 mins and his siblings are literally on their iPads.

I do an incredible amount of stuff for all my kids. Hours and hours and hours of work. And they lead very privileged lives, with piano lessons and expensive sports teams and iPads and xboxes. When of age, they can help out with keeping the household running.

It is your obligation to take care of your children but it is not their
To give you free childcare. This is who
h the eldest child frequently hates younger siblings.

I think the older 2 for a couple of hours with a phone to reach you and maybe a text check-in halfway through the first few times. All 3 during the daytime for up to an hour. Within a year or so, as they've all gotten settled in to that skill, I would think all 3 for a couple of hours. DD wasn't comfortable being left alone or with older DS in the evenings after dark until an older age (13/14?), but we could easily do dinner from 6-8ish down the street and still be fine. I imagine your oldest might feel similarly so you might want to aim toward daylight hours.

When it gets to be a longer period of time or you're adding tasks such as serving and cleaning up a meal, I would throw a couple of bucks her way as a thank you. Yes, it's part of being a family, but also nice to show a kid how to have a "job."

Anonymous wrote:What about just a 4th and 6th grader - can I leave them home alone? For how long?

Np yes. Why can’t you leave a 12 and 10 year old home? Not sure in the younger but the older can be left alone all day

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We have three kids - K, 4th and 6th. All three have sports and DH will usually just pick up one for practice while others stay home. Sometimes I have to do it and lug all three. And what age is it appropriate for oldest to stay home and watch youngest? Our oldest will be 7th next year. She's mature for her age and definitely our responsible one, though we've yet to leave her at home yet. I'm looking forward to a day when I'm not dragging everyone out together.

NEVER! Siblings are not their children and should not be giving you free childcare of any kind. The only way to ask them is to offer them to pay them the same hourly rate as you would pay any other sitter.

Wow. You aren’t Catholic, that’s for sure! We’re big on the whole, “He ain’t heavy, he’s my brother” idea.

I feel sad for you that you feel this way. I always cared for my little brother and sisters because they were my family - and still do.

I am 10 years older than my youngest sibling and have zero issues around this sort of thing. I never wanted to go to my brother's soccer games and my mom didn't want to have to deal with my little sister at the games, so I would watch her. I would give her something to play with or we would watch TV. It was really not a big deal. If my parents were going out on a weekend when I was in high school, they would ask me or my brother if we could watch her and usually one of us could. They never made us change our plans to watch her - they always asked. Sounds like a lot of you were forced to watch your younger siblings, but that is NOT what OP is asking.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We have three kids - K, 4th and 6th. All three have sports and DH will usually just pick up one for practice while others stay home. Sometimes I have to do it and lug all three. And what age is it appropriate for oldest to stay home and watch youngest? Our oldest will be 7th next year. She's mature for her age and definitely our responsible one, though we've yet to leave her at home yet. I'm looking forward to a day when I'm not dragging everyone out together.

NEVER! Siblings are not their children and should not be giving you free childcare of any kind. The only way to ask them is to offer them to pay them the same hourly rate as you would pay any other sitter.

OP here. That's insane to me. We're a family. We take care of each other, and that's how it's been done for eons. You may disagree but that is not how we will be doing it in this household. Our children have responsibilities just like we do. And to be honest, I don't want to be near kids who don't learn early on that we take care of each other. Appreciate your comments but that is not what I'm debating here. It's only the age that is in question.

Will your younger children be cleaning the house(or the first born’s room) while the older one babysits?

They all clean the house anyway so I don't need to set aside a special time for that. And no, each child is responsible for his/her own room. And no, I do not assume that the youngest is capable of the same tasks as the oldest. Why on Earth would I assume that?

It was a rhetorical question. Your younger children are obviously getting special treatment. It’s an “Everybody hates Chris” shit.

Yeah, I'm sorry your family treated you like crap, but that's not normal. An older child watching the younger so mom can go run an errand for 20 minutes that probably neither kid would want to go to anyway is not taking advantage of anyone and is not special treatment. WTF did your family do to you???

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We have three kids - K, 4th and 6th. All three have sports and DH will usually just pick up one for practice while others stay home. Sometimes I have to do it and lug all three. And what age is it appropriate for oldest to stay home and watch youngest? Our oldest will be 7th next year. She's mature for her age and definitely our responsible one, though we've yet to leave her at home yet. I'm looking forward to a day when I'm not dragging everyone out together.

NEVER! Siblings are not their children and should not be giving you free childcare of any kind. The only way to ask them is to offer them to pay them the same hourly rate as you would pay any other sitter.

What? This is a family and part of being a family is helping each other out. Let me guess - new england WASP?

I’m pretty sure my 12yo neighbor babysat my 5yo. I can’t remember if she started at 12 or waited until her 13th birthday. I only felt comfortable with a sitter that young bc they literally were our next door neighbor and the parents would have been home. If something happened, she could get her parents.

I have an 11yo (12 this month), 9yo and 4yo. I plan to leave 4yo with 12 yo for short periods of time (<1 hour). My middle child plays travel soccer and tennis.

A mature 7th grader is plenty old enough to babysit a kindergartner for a couple hours and absolutely can be expected to do it from time to time without pay. It's no different from any other "chore."

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We have three kids - K, 4th and 6th. All three have sports and DH will usually just pick up one for practice while others stay home. Sometimes I have to do it and lug all three. And what age is it appropriate for oldest to stay home and watch youngest? Our oldest will be 7th next year. She's mature for her age and definitely our responsible one, though we've yet to leave her at home yet. I'm looking forward to a day when I'm not dragging everyone out together.

I read the comments on this post with great amazement. Yes of COURSE it is ok for your 6th grader to watch the youngest! That's a 12-year old watching a 5-yeat old. I am assuming that the care you require is not along the lines of feeding or bathing but rather the standard is "both kids are alive and in one piece when I come home". Of course it's OK. Why would it not be?

My 10-year old has been staying home alone for 1 to 3 hours for a while now. He has the house keys, a bike and the run of the fridge. And he has watched his 5-year old sister for an hour or two. They've gone to the park together and back.

Of course you don't have to drag all three to practice. Make it easy on yourself and your kids.

Agree. Reading some of these responses is like landing on another planet. Does not resonate in the slightest. Genuinely curious if there's a cultural or geographic component to the "never" responses? I'm solidly east coast suburban and urban and that type of response is totally surprising.

It also sounds like a lot of ppl have built up resentment over how they were treated as kids. Me? I loved loved the opportunities to stay home with my younger sibling especially if it meant missing my older brother's sports. And even better when my older brother got to stay home with me when my younger one had stuff.

Anonymous wrote:We have three kids - K, 4th and 6th. All three have sports and DH will usually just pick up one for practice while others stay home. Sometimes I have to do it and lug all three. And what age is it appropriate for oldest to stay home and watch youngest? Our oldest will be 7th next year. She's mature for her age and definitely our responsible one, though we've yet to leave her at home yet. I'm looking forward to a day when I'm not dragging everyone out together.

I read the comments on this post with great amazement. Yes of COURSE it is ok for your 6th grader to watch the youngest! That's a 12-year old watching a 5-yeat old. I am assuming that the care you require is not along the lines of feeding or bathing but rather the standard is "both kids are alive and in one piece when I come home". Of course it's OK. Why would it not be?

My 10-year old has been staying home alone for 1 to 3 hours for a while now. He has the house keys, a bike and the run of the fridge. And he has watched his 5-year old sister for an hour or two. They've gone to the park together and back.

Of course you don't have to drag all three to practice. Make it easy on yourself and your kids.

OMG the people on this board are nuts. I have three kids similarly aged to the OP. Your 12 year old can babysit for other families, FFS! He/she can watch a sibling for 20 minutes while you run an errand. My 12-year-old will babysit while DH and I grab a quick dinner nearby. We pay him $12/hour for that. I do not pay him if I’m running out for 20 mins and his siblings are literally on their iPads.

I do an incredible amount of stuff for all my kids. Hours and hours and hours of work. And they lead very privileged lives, with piano lessons and expensive sports teams and iPads and xboxes. When of age, they can help out with keeping the household running.

What about just a 4th and 6th grader - can I leave them home alone? For how long?