Anonymous
02/27/2021 21:14
Subject: When you host a group of teens on vacation:
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Op here. Thanks for the responses.
This is not to entertain my own dc. That sounds like such a jaded outlook on life. Friendships are important, especially to a teenager. All teens can self entertain with their phones and video game consoles. .
We consider vacations family time. We actually spend time with our tween and teens so we don't need about child there. Yes, it is to entertain your kids as you don't want them on the phones/video games.
Op again.
I know you're trying to frame this in a way that makes you feel good about yourself by putting others down but you are wrong. Our family has always traveled both as a nuclear unit and with extended friends and families. I find it odd that you wouldn't want to share one of life's joys with others. I guess it's not that odd, since you posted here not to address the question, but to be anti social.
Anonymous
02/27/2021 20:33
Subject: When you host a group of teens on vacation:
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Op here. Thanks for the responses.
This is not to entertain my own dc. That sounds like such a jaded outlook on life. Friendships are important, especially to a teenager. All teens can self entertain with their phones and video game consoles. .
We consider vacations family time. We actually spend time with our tween and teens so we don't need about child there. Yes, it is to entertain your kids as you don't want them on the phones/video games.
Eh, this is similar to when we occasionally travel with another family. It add another layer of interaction and enjoyment. We also enjoy traveling alone with our kids. We “actually” spend time with our kids, also, and likewise don’t NEED another child there. But it can be fun and a rare treat.
It’s like you’re saying anyone who allows a sleepover must not like spending time with their kids.
Anonymous
02/27/2021 18:37
Subject: When you host a group of teens on vacation:
Anonymous wrote:Op here. Thanks for the responses.
This is not to entertain my own dc. That sounds like such a jaded outlook on life. Friendships are important, especially to a teenager. All teens can self entertain with their phones and video game consoles. .
We consider vacations family time. We actually spend time with our tween and teens so we don't need about child there. Yes, it is to entertain your kids as you don't want them on the phones/video games.
Anonymous
02/27/2021 18:36
Subject: Re:When you host a group of teens on vacation:
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:When we do this, we pay for everything unless the child is bringing something home as a gift or souvenir.
So a tee shirt? guest pays
Small light up toy for sibling: kid pays
The only exception is if the item is something the kids want together (matching shirts, for example) - then I pay. Precovid - when we flew- we also didn’t pay for airfare.
You don't pay for airfare!?
Ha, no, sorry, not sorry. We typically spend a lot of money on vacations. Adding extra kids to escape rooms, restaurants, amusement parks, etc., is more than generous. Heck, one quick fun stop for sbux and I’m out $30-$40 for just the kids, no adults.
Not really.
Not everyone wants a break and you just want the extra kids to entertain yours.
I’m the poster to pats for everything it airfare and souvenirs (but do buy souvenirs if the kids all want to match). This 100% is not to entertain my kids. I can do that and they can do that themselves. It’s a massive responsibility, extremely expensive and can be stressful at times. We end up needing two cars because of the extra kids. Getting to the airport means taking two Ubers each trip. Swimming in an ocean means two adults are watching 4-5 kids all the time - even teens. You have one sick or one injured and one parent has to devote all energy on that one kid. Do you seriously think we do this because we want our kids to have a playmate or company? We could just plan a trip with another family if that’s all we wanted - no stress, no expense, etc.
Someone posted above asking what we’ve spent. The last time we went, we flew from VA to CA. I am guessing we spent thousands of extra dollars, excluding the need to rent a second car - which we wouldn’t have needed to do if we didn’t have the extra kids) and excluding housing. We paid for all admission tickets (including to amusement parks), food, entertainment, etc.
It’s offensive to think people take other kids on vacation to get a break from their kids.
Then stop doing it. Nobody is twisting your arm (except maybe your kid). My kids have gone on vacation with friends a couple of times. It's fine, but honestly my kids could take it or leave it. I feel no obligation to reciprocate, especially since we go on very few vacations and I have no desire to take on another kid. Plus, my kids have never asked! Just like they never really asked for playdates when they were little.
No, I’m not going to stop because some people elect to think we do it to get a break from our kids or to get a reciprocal invite. Neither is true.
We don't expect a similar invite, but if PPs kids are always taking and never giving, friends will move on. Friendships are two-way street, some effort is expected.
Not everyone wants extra kids on vacation. They aren't just taking and never giving. They aren't asking you to take their kids and you are doing it for your needs. Mine couldn't care less either if they went and would think its a bit weird. We'd say no because we know people like you expect something in return and we don't vacation a lot (which you probably don't take into consideration) and while we do have kids at our house constantly pre-covid, we do it for the kids who have crappy uninvolved parents as we don't want ours at unsupervised homes.
Anonymous
02/27/2021 18:34
Subject: Re:When you host a group of teens on vacation:
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:When we do this, we pay for everything unless the child is bringing something home as a gift or souvenir.
So a tee shirt? guest pays
Small light up toy for sibling: kid pays
The only exception is if the item is something the kids want together (matching shirts, for example) - then I pay. Precovid - when we flew- we also didn’t pay for airfare.
You don't pay for airfare!?
Ha, no, sorry, not sorry. We typically spend a lot of money on vacations. Adding extra kids to escape rooms, restaurants, amusement parks, etc., is more than generous. Heck, one quick fun stop for sbux and I’m out $30-$40 for just the kids, no adults.
Not really.
Not everyone wants a break and you just want the extra kids to entertain yours.
I’m the poster to pats for everything it airfare and souvenirs (but do buy souvenirs if the kids all want to match). This 100% is not to entertain my kids. I can do that and they can do that themselves. It’s a massive responsibility, extremely expensive and can be stressful at times. We end up needing two cars because of the extra kids. Getting to the airport means taking two Ubers each trip. Swimming in an ocean means two adults are watching 4-5 kids all the time - even teens. You have one sick or one injured and one parent has to devote all energy on that one kid. Do you seriously think we do this because we want our kids to have a playmate or company? We could just plan a trip with another family if that’s all we wanted - no stress, no expense, etc.
Someone posted above asking what we’ve spent. The last time we went, we flew from VA to CA. I am guessing we spent thousands of extra dollars, excluding the need to rent a second car - which we wouldn’t have needed to do if we didn’t have the extra kids) and excluding housing. We paid for all admission tickets (including to amusement parks), food, entertainment, etc.
It’s offensive to think people take other kids on vacation to get a break from their kids.
Yes, you do it so your kids can have someone to socialize with. Your plan with extra kids seems silly. That makes no sense. So, if you don't do it for your kids then you are doing it to show off and reduce other kids who you think cannot do what you do.
Anonymous
02/27/2021 18:23
Subject: Re:When you host a group of teens on vacation:
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:When we do this, we pay for everything unless the child is bringing something home as a gift or souvenir.
So a tee shirt? guest pays
Small light up toy for sibling: kid pays
The only exception is if the item is something the kids want together (matching shirts, for example) - then I pay. Precovid - when we flew- we also didn’t pay for airfare.
You don't pay for airfare!?
Ha, no, sorry, not sorry. We typically spend a lot of money on vacations. Adding extra kids to escape rooms, restaurants, amusement parks, etc., is more than generous. Heck, one quick fun stop for sbux and I’m out $30-$40 for just the kids, no adults.
Not really.
Not everyone wants a break and you just want the extra kids to entertain yours.
I’m the poster to pats for everything it airfare and souvenirs (but do buy souvenirs if the kids all want to match). This 100% is not to entertain my kids. I can do that and they can do that themselves. It’s a massive responsibility, extremely expensive and can be stressful at times. We end up needing two cars because of the extra kids. Getting to the airport means taking two Ubers each trip. Swimming in an ocean means two adults are watching 4-5 kids all the time - even teens. You have one sick or one injured and one parent has to devote all energy on that one kid. Do you seriously think we do this because we want our kids to have a playmate or company? We could just plan a trip with another family if that’s all we wanted - no stress, no expense, etc.
Someone posted above asking what we’ve spent. The last time we went, we flew from VA to CA. I am guessing we spent thousands of extra dollars, excluding the need to rent a second car - which we wouldn’t have needed to do if we didn’t have the extra kids) and excluding housing. We paid for all admission tickets (including to amusement parks), food, entertainment, etc.
It’s offensive to think people take other kids on vacation to get a break from their kids.
Then stop doing it. Nobody is twisting your arm (except maybe your kid). My kids have gone on vacation with friends a couple of times. It's fine, but honestly my kids could take it or leave it. I feel no obligation to reciprocate, especially since we go on very few vacations and I have no desire to take on another kid. Plus, my kids have never asked! Just like they never really asked for playdates when they were little.
No, I’m not going to stop because some people elect to think we do it to get a break from our kids or to get a reciprocal invite. Neither is true.
We don't expect a similar invite, but if PPs kids are always taking and never giving, friends will move on. Friendships are two-way street, some effort is expected.
Anonymous
02/27/2021 17:22
Subject: Re:When you host a group of teens on vacation:
Anonymous wrote:When my kid gets invited to go away with other families (most commonly to ski house) I always send him with money for snacks, buy his ski ticket, and usually toss some extra money at the family bringing him just to cover incidentals/extra groceries. I love that he gets invites and these fun experiences and I’m happy to cover as much of the financial side as possible.
Same here, and of course I would pay the airfare!
Anonymous
02/27/2021 14:45
Subject: When you host a group of teens on vacation:
Anonymous wrote:For those of you all inclusive inviters:
How much are you spending per guest?
We took one of DS’e friends to Universal/Orlando with us Oct’19.
It was probably about 2500-3k extra.
The delta was airfare, dining, park tickets/fast passes, souvenirs, activities.
DS already had hotel room with two queen beds.
Anonymous
02/27/2021 11:10
Subject: Re:When you host a group of teens on vacation:
Anonymous wrote:Yes activities that you are present for or arrange, no to souvenirs. Yes to food.
This.
Anonymous
02/27/2021 11:08
Subject: When you host a group of teens on vacation:
Vacations are for family. We only get so many with our kids (not counting if they travel with us as adults.) My kids can vacation with their friends when they are adults.
Anonymous
02/27/2021 10:50
Subject: When you host a group of teens on vacation:
Anonymous wrote:When you invite, be extremely clear on what you want to cover, and what you won’t cover. Put it in an email to avoid misunderstandings.
+100
I think any arrangement works as long as you’re clear up front.
I used to take friends on vacation a lot in high school (I’m the youngest - siblings were out of the house by then) and my parents basically paid for my friends stuff when they would pay for my stuff (so, lodging, meals, group activities like mini golf or the movies when we all went together) but not the kind of stuff I’d pay for on my own (souvenirs, clothes, or other shopping, activities and meals/snacks when my friend and I went off on our own) and that worked out fine. I used to go skiing with a friend’s family sometimes, and they paid for lodging and transportation, but my parents paid for my lift tickets, equipment rentals, and meals (we’d split the check even at sit down restaurants). So it was a much more expensive trip for me. Both worked out great - no problems or issues, just make sure you’re upfront about what you’re covering/not covering when you issue in the invite.
Anonymous
02/27/2021 09:58
Subject: Re:When you host a group of teens on vacation:
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:When we do this, we pay for everything unless the child is bringing something home as a gift or souvenir.
So a tee shirt? guest pays
Small light up toy for sibling: kid pays
The only exception is if the item is something the kids want together (matching shirts, for example) - then I pay. Precovid - when we flew- we also didn’t pay for airfare.
You don't pay for airfare!?
Ha, no, sorry, not sorry. We typically spend a lot of money on vacations. Adding extra kids to escape rooms, restaurants, amusement parks, etc., is more than generous. Heck, one quick fun stop for sbux and I’m out $30-$40 for just the kids, no adults.
Not really.
Not everyone wants a break and you just want the extra kids to entertain yours.
I’m the poster to pats for everything it airfare and souvenirs (but do buy souvenirs if the kids all want to match). This 100% is not to entertain my kids. I can do that and they can do that themselves. It’s a massive responsibility, extremely expensive and can be stressful at times. We end up needing two cars because of the extra kids. Getting to the airport means taking two Ubers each trip. Swimming in an ocean means two adults are watching 4-5 kids all the time - even teens. You have one sick or one injured and one parent has to devote all energy on that one kid. Do you seriously think we do this because we want our kids to have a playmate or company? We could just plan a trip with another family if that’s all we wanted - no stress, no expense, etc.
Someone posted above asking what we’ve spent. The last time we went, we flew from VA to CA. I am guessing we spent thousands of extra dollars, excluding the need to rent a second car - which we wouldn’t have needed to do if we didn’t have the extra kids) and excluding housing. We paid for all admission tickets (including to amusement parks), food, entertainment, etc.
It’s offensive to think people take other kids on vacation to get a break from their kids.
Then stop doing it. Nobody is twisting your arm (except maybe your kid). My kids have gone on vacation with friends a couple of times. It's fine, but honestly my kids could take it or leave it. I feel no obligation to reciprocate, especially since we go on very few vacations and I have no desire to take on another kid. Plus, my kids have never asked! Just like they never really asked for playdates when they were little.
No, I’m not going to stop because some people elect to think we do it to get a break from our kids or to get a reciprocal invite. Neither is true.
Anonymous
02/27/2021 09:42
Subject: When you host a group of teens on vacation:
Op here. Thanks for the responses.
This is not to entertain my own dc. That sounds like such a jaded outlook on life. Friendships are important, especially to a teenager. All teens can self entertain with their phones and video game consoles. .
This is not to entertain my own dc. That sounds like such a jaded outlook on life. Friendships are important, especially to a teenager. All teens can self entertain with their phones and video game consoles. .
Anonymous
02/27/2021 06:39
Subject: Re:When you host a group of teens on vacation:
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:When we do this, we pay for everything unless the child is bringing something home as a gift or souvenir.
So a tee shirt? guest pays
Small light up toy for sibling: kid pays
The only exception is if the item is something the kids want together (matching shirts, for example) - then I pay. Precovid - when we flew- we also didn’t pay for airfare.
You don't pay for airfare!?
Ha, no, sorry, not sorry. We typically spend a lot of money on vacations. Adding extra kids to escape rooms, restaurants, amusement parks, etc., is more than generous. Heck, one quick fun stop for sbux and I’m out $30-$40 for just the kids, no adults.
Not really.
Not everyone wants a break and you just want the extra kids to entertain yours.
I’m the poster to pats for everything it airfare and souvenirs (but do buy souvenirs if the kids all want to match). This 100% is not to entertain my kids. I can do that and they can do that themselves. It’s a massive responsibility, extremely expensive and can be stressful at times. We end up needing two cars because of the extra kids. Getting to the airport means taking two Ubers each trip. Swimming in an ocean means two adults are watching 4-5 kids all the time - even teens. You have one sick or one injured and one parent has to devote all energy on that one kid. Do you seriously think we do this because we want our kids to have a playmate or company? We could just plan a trip with another family if that’s all we wanted - no stress, no expense, etc.
Someone posted above asking what we’ve spent. The last time we went, we flew from VA to CA. I am guessing we spent thousands of extra dollars, excluding the need to rent a second car - which we wouldn’t have needed to do if we didn’t have the extra kids) and excluding housing. We paid for all admission tickets (including to amusement parks), food, entertainment, etc.
It’s offensive to think people take other kids on vacation to get a break from their kids.
Then stop doing it. Nobody is twisting your arm (except maybe your kid). My kids have gone on vacation with friends a couple of times. It's fine, but honestly my kids could take it or leave it. I feel no obligation to reciprocate, especially since we go on very few vacations and I have no desire to take on another kid. Plus, my kids have never asked! Just like they never really asked for playdates when they were little.
Anonymous
02/27/2021 06:01
Subject: Re:When you host a group of teens on vacation:
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:When we do this, we pay for everything unless the child is bringing something home as a gift or souvenir.
So a tee shirt? guest pays
Small light up toy for sibling: kid pays
The only exception is if the item is something the kids want together (matching shirts, for example) - then I pay. Precovid - when we flew- we also didn’t pay for airfare.
You don't pay for airfare!?
Ha, no, sorry, not sorry. We typically spend a lot of money on vacations. Adding extra kids to escape rooms, restaurants, amusement parks, etc., is more than generous. Heck, one quick fun stop for sbux and I’m out $30-$40 for just the kids, no adults.
Not really.
Not everyone wants a break and you just want the extra kids to entertain yours.
I’m the poster to pats for everything it airfare and souvenirs (but do buy souvenirs if the kids all want to match). This 100% is not to entertain my kids. I can do that and they can do that themselves. It’s a massive responsibility, extremely expensive and can be stressful at times. We end up needing two cars because of the extra kids. Getting to the airport means taking two Ubers each trip. Swimming in an ocean means two adults are watching 4-5 kids all the time - even teens. You have one sick or one injured and one parent has to devote all energy on that one kid. Do you seriously think we do this because we want our kids to have a playmate or company? We could just plan a trip with another family if that’s all we wanted - no stress, no expense, etc.
Someone posted above asking what we’ve spent. The last time we went, we flew from VA to CA. I am guessing we spent thousands of extra dollars, excluding the need to rent a second car - which we wouldn’t have needed to do if we didn’t have the extra kids) and excluding housing. We paid for all admission tickets (including to amusement parks), food, entertainment, etc.
It’s offensive to think people take other kids on vacation to get a break from their kids.