Anonymous wrote:If the BF posted here asking for advice, I'd tell him to modify his order practices to fall in line with the rest of your family. But since you posted here, I'm going to tell you to get over it. If he's a nice guy and he is good to your daughter and she's happy with him, this is nothing in the scheme of things.

+1 and if this were a Miss Manners column, I’m not sure whether the gluttonous kid (Lenny!) or the shockingly cheap, dreadfully judgmental, host would come in for more scorn. If you a begrudging someone an extra Chick-fil-A meal and are not desperately poor, you are an embarrassingly ungenerous person. At least the boyfriend is young and has time to learn better manners.

Anonymous wrote:The Chick Fil A thing wouldn’t bother me at all, but the Thai thing seems greedy and clueless. Are you sure he and your DD aren’t sharing each other’s food?

As a PP said, set parameters.

This.

If you order takeout a lot, he must assume you don’t care about the money.

Why have you not solved this by ordering cheaper, and/or cooking instead of ordering out so frequently?

Anonymous wrote:He's a young man, he's hungry. Don't invite people if you are gonna be cheap.

+1

This.

Anonymous wrote:We’ve been doing a lot of takeout. We love having our college daughter home but when we order dinner for her bf, he really seems to treat himself. When I got Chick-fil-A the other night, he gets a combo plus another full sandwich. Tonight we are getting Thai and he’s getting an appetizer, entree, and dessert! I mean, I’d love a mango and sticky rice too, but all those extras add up. Is this kind of rude? His order is always the most expensive thing!

He’s a college age boy, right? This is what I’d expect. We kinda order an extra pizza just for DS.

Teen boys usually have a big appetite. If money is a problem, you should order yourself, you don't have to ask what he wants.

Anonymous wrote:College aged boys eat a lot. A LOT. They are like a human garbage pail.

Do you want him to order enough to satisfy himself or do you want him to order as little as you and be hungry? Or do you want him to offer to pay for his share?

You could always ... just not order in when he's around. Go ahead, be stingy.

Then, he can eat at home. His parents failed to teach him manners. You don't order more than a meal or what your host orders.

He's a young man, he's hungry. Don't invite people if you are gonna be cheap.

Anonymous wrote:Rich? Is the kid from a rich family? I housed some boys from NYC and Connecticut, and if we stopped by even Burger King this one kid would order three meals!
Knowing that I had cooked dinner as well, but teen athletes so I was trying to make sure they were full. He had money from parents a ton of money, and he knew we were not that well off based on our house! Never one offered to pay for his own.

Np this seems more something a kid from a lower class family would do. At least that’s what I’ve seen. Rich kids have always had excellent manners

I will say that it’s awkward being a guest and wanting more. You offer to pay but the hosts don’t let you.

I think it’s rude to always have the most expensive order. But my answer is somewhat modified by whether he’s just at your house for a meal or whether he’s staying there. If he’s staying there, then he needs to order what he needs to satiate his appetite. And that amount is not unusual for a guy that age. But if he’s just coming by for dinner, I would expect him to have a heavy afternoon snack or late night snack (like a PP suggested—guys this age are keeping fast food restaurants in business by ordering second dinners in their way to/from places). If he’s coming for dinner, that’s one dinner. If he needs essentially two dinners, it’s rude to expect you to supply both.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Oh my God, you don’t really track quantity on a fast food order?!

Set some parameters for takeout: “We’re ordering from Thai Palace. Let us know what two entrees you want, and give me ideas for an appetizer to share.”

It’s manners. When I stayed at my then GF’s house, I would try to order last and gauge what to order based on what her parents ordered (and even then, try to stay on the cheap side for entrees).

One could argue that you came off as “always ‘on’” and uncomfortable and never part of the family...

This is so easily fixed. If you don’t want to host, don’t. If you want to host with some boundaries, set some freaking boundaries.

If a young man treats my daughter well and makes her happy, I won’t begrudge him some freaking shrimp.

The bolted is your way forward, if you're actually looking for a solution. Which I doubt; this is so petty that you clearly just wanted to vent.

Young people in general have crappy manners, and no one ever has the balls to correct them (because we have good manners), so it continues.....

College aged boys eat a lot. A LOT. They are like a human garbage pail.

Do you want him to order enough to satisfy himself or do you want him to order as little as you and be hungry? Or do you want him to offer to pay for his share?

You could always ... just not order in when he's around. Go ahead, be stingy.

For the food, he's a young man and probably eats a lot, much more than a young woman. It is rude to order dessert if no one else does.

Really rude. I would say something if he's expecting you to pay. That's telling of how he was raised and I'd worry if he didn't make a fortune they'd always be broke. My know one meal and if you are out and someone is paying always go cheaper.