Anonymous
Post 01/28/2021 09:34     Subject: Re:Anyone else have to be very restrictive to stay thin?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:What do you mean by invisible? I’m in my early 50’s and not sure what you mean.


They're repeating a misogynistic old trope that is not true - talk about internalized sexism!
Are they talking about the attention of males between 20 and 30? Because everyone else is looking!


No, I am speaking from experience. People might still look and observant people will notice your appearance. They just don't care. It is extremely different from when you are younger and people are genuinely interested in your appearance as a woman, because they view you as a potential partner or as competition for a potential partner or they are trying to figure out if you are pregnant. I'm not saying it's good that people think that way. And if you'd asked me at the age of 35 if that's how people are, I would have said no, that's crazy. But now I'm in my 40s and this is absolutely true.

I am sure there are exceptions to this. If I were single and dating, for instance, obviously my appearance would matter on the dating market. I also assume that people who aren't heterosexual may have other experiences because there may be less of a focus on fertility. But the experience of most to the heterosexual women I know, and especially the ones who are married and/or have kids, is that interest in you as a person drops way off right around 40. People talk to you less. Strangers aren't as nice to you, unless you are with your kids and they are interested in your kids. And it's not just men in their 20s and 30s who lose interest. Men in their 40s/50s used to look at me so much when I was younger that it was annoying. Now that I am the peer of men that age, they look right through me. It's gross.

But for what it's worth, I'm still thin and it doesn't change any of the above. Other women sometimes comment on the fact that I've stayed thin, but it does not increase interest or attention in me. I'm just another middle age lady, and the details are not that interesting to most people.


I think this is totally true. I'm mid 30s. Men and women still check me out in an interested way. I do the same to others. But I do find myself looking at older women in a different way. Over 45 or so, I will glance and them and smile, but there is zero interest in how they look or their hair or what they are wearing--the way I'd look at a woman my age.
Anonymous
Post 01/27/2021 23:10     Subject: Re:Anyone else have to be very restrictive to stay thin?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:What do you mean by invisible? I’m in my early 50’s and not sure what you mean.


They're repeating a misogynistic old trope that is not true - talk about internalized sexism!
Are they talking about the attention of males between 20 and 30? Because everyone else is looking!


No, I am speaking from experience. People might still look and observant people will notice your appearance. They just don't care. It is extremely different from when you are younger and people are genuinely interested in your appearance as a woman, because they view you as a potential partner or as competition for a potential partner or they are trying to figure out if you are pregnant. I'm not saying it's good that people think that way. And if you'd asked me at the age of 35 if that's how people are, I would have said no, that's crazy. But now I'm in my 40s and this is absolutely true.

I am sure there are exceptions to this. If I were single and dating, for instance, obviously my appearance would matter on the dating market. I also assume that people who aren't heterosexual may have other experiences because there may be less of a focus on fertility. But the experience of most to the heterosexual women I know, and especially the ones who are married and/or have kids, is that interest in you as a person drops way off right around 40. People talk to you less. Strangers aren't as nice to you, unless you are with your kids and they are interested in your kids. And it's not just men in their 20s and 30s who lose interest. Men in their 40s/50s used to look at me so much when I was younger that it was annoying. Now that I am the peer of men that age, they look right through me. It's gross.

But for what it's worth, I'm still thin and it doesn't change any of the above. Other women sometimes comment on the fact that I've stayed thin, but it does not increase interest or attention in me. I'm just another middle age lady, and the details are not that interesting to most people.
Anonymous
Post 01/27/2021 23:01     Subject: Anyone else have to be very restrictive to stay thin?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Im 37. 5'5" and 125. I do have to be very restrictive. at 135, I can eat whatever I want. The body definitely has its comfortable spot. I think I will enjoy being thin another 10 yrs, then hang it up and give it to 135.


Life's too short. No one cares or notices if you are 125 or 135.


True, and it could be even shorter if your weight regularly creeps up. Risks for heart disease, stroke, diabetes, NAFLD, and cancer all increase with weight. 10 pounds doesn't sound like a big deal, but it all adds up.


OTOH, being underweight also increases your death risk.


Actually multiple studies show that being slight underweight or at the bottom of the range of normal weight increases your chances of long life.
Anonymous
Post 01/27/2021 23:00     Subject: Re:Anyone else have to be very restrictive to stay thin?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:What do you mean by invisible? I’m in my early 50’s and not sure what you mean.


They're repeating a misogynistic old trope that is not true - talk about internalized sexism!
Are they talking about the attention of males between 20 and 30? Because everyone else is looking!


Perhaps you are unusually attractive.


Ha! No. But I guarantee you people look. Women look. We compare outfits and hairdos and figures. Men look, all the time. You are not invisible even when you want to be.
Anonymous
Post 01/27/2021 22:57     Subject: Anyone else have to be very restrictive to stay thin?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Im 37. 5'5" and 125. I do have to be very restrictive. at 135, I can eat whatever I want. The body definitely has its comfortable spot. I think I will enjoy being thin another 10 yrs, then hang it up and give it to 135.


Life's too short. No one cares or notices if you are 125 or 135.


True, and it could be even shorter if your weight regularly creeps up. Risks for heart disease, stroke, diabetes, NAFLD, and cancer all increase with weight. 10 pounds doesn't sound like a big deal, but it all adds up.


OTOH, being underweight also increases your death risk.
Anonymous
Post 01/27/2021 22:09     Subject: Anyone else have to be very restrictive to stay thin?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Im 37. 5'5" and 125. I do have to be very restrictive. at 135, I can eat whatever I want. The body definitely has its comfortable spot. I think I will enjoy being thin another 10 yrs, then hang it up and give it to 135.


Life's too short. No one cares or notices if you are 125 or 135.


True, and it could be even shorter if your weight regularly creeps up. Risks for heart disease, stroke, diabetes, NAFLD, and cancer all increase with weight. 10 pounds doesn't sound like a big deal, but it all adds up.
Anonymous
Post 01/27/2021 21:49     Subject: Re:Anyone else have to be very restrictive to stay thin?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:What do you mean by invisible? I’m in my early 50’s and not sure what you mean.


They're repeating a misogynistic old trope that is not true - talk about internalized sexism!
Are they talking about the attention of males between 20 and 30? Because everyone else is looking!


Perhaps you are unusually attractive.
Anonymous
Post 01/27/2021 21:00     Subject: Re:Anyone else have to be very restrictive to stay thin?
Anonymous wrote:What do you mean by invisible? I’m in my early 50’s and not sure what you mean.


They're repeating a misogynistic old trope that is not true - talk about internalized sexism!
Are they talking about the attention of males between 20 and 30? Because everyone else is looking!
Anonymous
Post 01/27/2021 20:58     Subject: Anyone else have to be very restrictive to stay thin?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:This is OP. Thanks for the replies and perspectives.

I feel like I look my best at 140, and do notice a big difference in how I look at 145.

My biggest issue is that all my weight goes to my stomach... I have very thin arms and legs and when I gain even a little people constantly think I am pregnant. Last week I was at the grocery store and the woman ringing up my food asked how far along I am.


Ugh, I have had this happen so many times to me. I feel your pain.


Same here, it's so annoying because I really like how the rest of my body looks, and if I lose the belly, it means being stick thin elsewhere... yet I look pregnant!
It's the family curse. All the women on my mother's side look like that as soon as they hit middle age, and worsen as they age. My mother is 70 and is a walking skeleton with a belly... It looks nice elegant she's fully clothed and stands up straight and wears a belt. But in a swimsuit, people look at her as if she's got just a few days to live.

Anonymous
Post 01/27/2021 19:48     Subject: Anyone else have to be very restrictive to stay thin?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Im 37. 5'5" and 125. I do have to be very restrictive. at 135, I can eat whatever I want. The body definitely has its comfortable spot. I think I will enjoy being thin another 10 yrs, then hang it up and give it to 135.


Life's too short. No one cares or notices if you are 125 or 135.


This, especially past 40. What you may not realize, PP, is that you're about to become invisible to most people regardless of your weight. Why not enjoy life rather than dieting to impress people who really, really don't care?


Actually I do agree. Women over 40 become somewhat invisible. But I have my pride and I just won’t feel good about myself. I love how I look at 125. I like how I look at 135 and I’ll let it happen naturally after 45 or so if that is what is meant to be. But I would never let myself get to 145+ even if I had to eat cabbage all damn day, ha


Very true about being less visible (to men at least!) over 40. I used to get a lot of male attention on a regular basis but once I got past my early 40's it really dropped off. Nothing significant has changed about my appearance (I weigh about the same, still have long hair, etc) except I've gotten older. This is going to sound pathetic but I remember feeling anxious when I was in my 30's and it dawned on me that being young and cute wasn't going to last forever-my self esteem was low and I felt like I didn't have much more to offer than that. But now that I'm in my late 40's I find being less visible freeing. I don't have to worry about being sexually harassed by creepy men and I don't obsess about my looks like I used to.

Anonymous
Post 01/27/2021 19:34     Subject: Re:Anyone else have to be very restrictive to stay thin?
What do you mean by invisible? I’m in my early 50’s and not sure what you mean.
Anonymous
Post 01/27/2021 18:24     Subject: Re:Anyone else have to be very restrictive to stay thin?
Invisible or not, I don't want to have to buy new pants or feel like I'm stuffing myself into the ones I have now.
Anonymous
Post 01/27/2021 17:31     Subject: Anyone else have to be very restrictive to stay thin?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Im 37. 5'5" and 125. I do have to be very restrictive. at 135, I can eat whatever I want. The body definitely has its comfortable spot. I think I will enjoy being thin another 10 yrs, then hang it up and give it to 135.


Life's too short. No one cares or notices if you are 125 or 135.


This, especially past 40. What you may not realize, PP, is that you're about to become invisible to most people regardless of your weight. Why not enjoy life rather than dieting to impress people who really, really don't care?


Actually I do agree. Women over 40 become somewhat invisible. But I have my pride and I just won’t feel good about myself. I love how I look at 125. I like how I look at 135 and I’ll let it happen naturally after 45 or so if that is what is meant to be. But I would never let myself get to 145+ even if I had to eat cabbage all damn day, ha
Anonymous
Post 01/27/2021 17:26     Subject: Anyone else have to be very restrictive to stay thin?
I'm normally around #130 at 5'5".

I lost a dear family member and lost a dear friend to covid between Christmas and new years.

The stress and depression killed me appetite. I couldn't care less about food. i know this isn't healthy and im in grief counseling.

Ironically everywhere and i mean everywhere i go people tell me how great i look. I'm probably about #110. I think I look like shit.
Anonymous
Post 01/27/2021 17:12     Subject: Anyone else have to be very restrictive to stay thin?
Anonymous wrote:This is OP. Thanks for the replies and perspectives.

I feel like I look my best at 140, and do notice a big difference in how I look at 145.

My biggest issue is that all my weight goes to my stomach... I have very thin arms and legs and when I gain even a little people constantly think I am pregnant. Last week I was at the grocery store and the woman ringing up my food asked how far along I am.


Ugh, I have had this happen so many times to me. I feel your pain.