Personally I would always deliver at a hospital with a level 3 nicu, regardless of how low risk the pregnancy is. I had a friend who tried to have a home birth, she almost didn’t make it, thank god the hospital was very close to her house.

Think about some scenarios from each point of view:

Let’s say you give birth in a hospital and nothing dire happens to you or baby. But your birth experience is less than ideal.

Let’s say you give birth in birth center and something dire does happen, you are too far away from a hospital and you or baby die, or baby dies and to save you you also lose your uterus and can’t carry another pregnancy.

In the first scenario, it kinda sucks. In the second, there is death.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op, you are what is called an "elderly primagravida". I was one. You want to be in the hospital. Both of mine were C-sections.

Lol, both of yours were c sections BECAUSE you were in a hospital.

Why do you think your reproduction organs suddenly cease to work correctly beyond 35 years of age?

Yes, statistically that is exactly what happens. I’m very surprised a midwife would allow this for a high risk mother (ama + first child=high risk)
I had a textbook perfect pregnancy and delivery at 38 right until my uterus inverted and I could have bled out. Happened to a friend of mine at home who had to be ambulances to hospital. Don’t be selfish. You need to start thinking of your family not just your comfort.

Not to pile on, but I totally agree with DH. 1 hour is way too far away. My first baby I had a totally normal pregnancy at 33 and then labored forever and baby had shoulder dystocia (sp?) and then I hemorrhaged. I could've never anticipated either complication but it would be scary to not be in a hospital. I went to a physician/midwife practice and spent most of my delivery with my midwife but the OB had to step in when things started to go sideways.

Ditto all PP, 1 hour is way too far away in case things go wrong. And yes, medical emergencies happen more often than you hear about. Please go with the hospital. This is the safest option for both you and your baby.

Agree with your husband. This actually happened to a friend who wanted to have a home birth in bowlines, near San Francisco. There were serious complications and they had to hurry to the hospital, which as far away.

Yup 100% with DH. My uneventful pregnancy ended with an unresponsive baby at birth. Thankfully I was at Fairfax INOVA so they saved her life.

My baby would have died if we had done what you are contemplating.

Anonymous wrote:I’m with your Dh. Sorry. It’s his kid, too.

This it’s his kid and his wife that will die of something goes wrong.

DCUM is just about the worst place to ask for advice regarding an oit of hospital or natural birth.

With that said, I'd make a deal with your DH that you birth in a hospital this time but next time you can go to a birth center or have the midwives come to your home, whichever you prefer. Make sure you take a natural birth class and understand all of the interventions they'll try to coerce you into. As you can see from this thread, empowerment for natural birthing methods is severely lacking in this country and especially this region.

Anonymous wrote:Op, you are what is called an "elderly primagravida". I was one. You want to be in the hospital. Both of mine were C-sections.

Lol, both of yours were c sections BECAUSE you were in a hospital.

Why do you think your reproduction organs suddenly cease to work correctly beyond 35 years of age?

Anonymous wrote:An hour away is WAY too risky. Totally agree with your husband on this one.

+1

No way

Yeah, no. My sister, your age, same deal wanted the birth center too but it’s was only 10 min from the hospital which turned out to be a literal lifesaver when she came down with pre-eclampsia and had to have an emergency csection to save her and baby, so no.

An hour away means you or dc are dead if a hospital is needed

Former L&D nurse here. Big fan of qualified birthing centers. That said, an hour is way too far from a hospital. I don't think people realize how critical mere minutes can be when a situation goes wrong. Compromise and find somewhere closer. And please make sure to do a lot of research before hand. What's their emergency equipment? What's their plan if labor doesn't progress as expected. Etc.