Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here.

I posted because I AM SO RELIEVED. And I needed to share that sentiment

No question, no vent, just sharing. No applications yet. We were agonizing about selecting which schools to apply to because the 11th and 12th grade strategy is very different for universities abroad vs US. The school abroad is McGill (Montreal - French).

You can criticize all you want, I'm just so happy right now.

Congratulations! Unfortunately you picked a bad place to post this, these narcissistic whack jobs don't understand your culture and university system hence the complete foppish American ignorance and related comments. Best to you and your student...as a human note for all of the ridiculous detractors here, informed and respectful family decisions are often successful...try it, you might be pleasantly surprised.

Agreed. Congrats OP. This is an argument over semantics. If you’d said ‘we worked closely with our kid to help him/her develop a list’ no one would’ve blinked an eye. Obviously the actual choice to enroll would be best left to the kid.

Anonymous wrote:OP here.

I posted because I AM SO RELIEVED. And I needed to share that sentiment

No question, no vent, just sharing. No applications yet. We were agonizing about selecting which schools to apply to because the 11th and 12th grade strategy is very different for universities abroad vs US. The school abroad is McGill (Montreal - French).

You can criticize all you want, I'm just so happy right now.

I’d be happy, too. It is a relief.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
I feel so relieved.

We picked a 1st choice, 2nd choice, 3rd choice. "We" because it was a family decision: we parents wanted low-cost options, and our teen wasn't picky as long as the colleges had the major he wanted and were either close to home or within a context that felt familiar - so one of these choices is in a country that speaks our native language. I know that's not a lot of colleges. But frankly we're done here, and unless he collapses completely, he's certain to get into his 2nd and 3rd picks.

So detailed yet so oddly opaque. Why not add the language and school?

Because she’s expressing relief about the “we” part while leaving her kid’s story to be her kid’s story. Because she is respectful.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
I feel so relieved.

We picked a 1st choice, 2nd choice, 3rd choice. "We" because it was a family decision: we parents wanted low-cost options, and our teen wasn't picky as long as the colleges had the major he wanted and were either close to home or within a context that felt familiar - so one of these choices is in a country that speaks our native language. I know that's not a lot of colleges. But frankly we're done here, and unless he collapses completely, he's certain to get into his 2nd and 3rd picks.

You and your child are SEPARATE PEOPLE. It's your child's list.

This

In some families, the money makes it an obvious “we”. Just shut up and worry about your own household.

What’s the list?

Anonymous wrote:But OP it is still confusing regarding timing. If this is for senior year, you are pretty late. if your child is a junior, I think it is great to have a list, but your and your child's views may change between now and a year from now based on all the college fairs/ virtual visits etc. so maybe this can be a "working" list. At any rate, Im with you on this being a family decision but don't really get why you posted. congrats anyway.

This.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
I feel so relieved.

We picked a 1st choice, 2nd choice, 3rd choice. "We" because it was a family decision: we parents wanted low-cost options, and our teen wasn't picky as long as the colleges had the major he wanted and were either close to home or within a context that felt familiar - so one of these choices is in a country that speaks our native language. I know that's not a lot of colleges. But frankly we're done here, and unless he collapses completely, he's certain to get into his 2nd and 3rd picks.

You and your child are SEPARATE PEOPLE. It's your child's list.

Is your child paying their way?

Do you only buy clothes and music and books for your child that YOU like?

I’ve never understood people who resent meeting their children’s financial needs. Seems like some of you just had a kid so you could tell them what to do.

+1000 It is not your list!! I would never pick my kid’s college list (or major for that matter). As long as they know the financial parameters, it is completely their decision. Parents around here are so controlling. I will offer advice about what I think, but ultimately my kid’s life. We can pay full tuition for our kids, so maybe this is the difference?

That is absolutely the difference.

Anonymous wrote:
Do you only buy clothes and music and books for your child that YOU like?

I’ve never understood people who resent meeting their children’s financial needs. Seems like some of you just had a kid so you could tell them what to do.

The entitlement on this board is unbelievable at times. Who said anything about RESENTING anything, other than you? Some of us would love to be able to send little Larlo off to the $75K university of their dreams without going into the poor house, but for many donut families, this isn't an option. If you are wealthy and can swing it, that's great. If you receive enough financial aid for your child to attend, also great. But not every family can afford the $200K+ debt of a four year private college degree.

Thankfully, some of us have children who understand this and respect that taking on massive debt for a particular school would not be in anyone's best interest.