Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Does he have any other quirks or executive functions issues? Like total lack of empathy or real connection with anybody?

PP can you elaborate please? What should a lack of empathy or executive function issues have to do with closeted sexuality?

Anonymous wrote:OP I am curious- does he have hobbies? What things is he into? Yes this is going to sound stereotypical but my ex-fiancé had tons of Audrey Hepburn and Barbara Streisand movies laying around, he was a cheerleader in high school, he acted very metrosexual... could he have just been in touch with his feminine side.. maybe- but I honestly think he is bisexual or just full on gay. He was keeping a lot of secrets that I will never fully know about- and I really think that is one of them. As we were breaking up I saw stuff in his emails that shocked me- Craigslist ads soliciting sex... that kind of thing. He is married with three kids leading a seemingly idyllic life (I think) I have to wonder what he is doing behind his wife’s back on a regular basis.

Anyway, The reason I say all this is if someone told me he was gay I would not be shocked at all. Besides your husband having little interest in you sexually- Are there any other signs? Does he spend a LOT of time with his gay friend? I realize some closeted men show no signs at all- but I think if you want to find some evidence.. you will find it. Look on his phone or web browser ... yes it’s snooping but I think you’ll find your answer.

Those telling you to ask him straight up if he is gay-I don’t see that going well. You might have better luck asking him why he is not interested in sex with you.. if he can’t give you direct answers or isn’t willing to work on it with you (see a therapist, or doctor) then he’s either gay and or having an affair. Reminds me of that movie “She’s the one”... jennifer aniston's husband isn’t interested in sex with her at all... so she starts to wonder if he’s gay and actually asks him- he finally blows up and admits he is having an affair with another woman.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think that your choice to remain a virgin until marriage played a big role in you marrying a sexual dud. Remember all those guys you dated who quickly broke up over your no-sex policy? Well there is a reason for that. Normal guys with a normal sex drive do not / can not / would not "wait until marriage". And the guys who DO are (like you said) just not sexually motivated. In other words, you purposefully picked a dud and now question why he is a dud?

As a consolation, you have bragging rights that while all your lady friends are making excuses and running away from their horn-dog husbands, you can peacefully scroll DCUM in the nude.

This is spot on. OP - were you and DH sexually active with each other before marriage - even though you didn’t have sex technically? Or was he hands off before marriage as well?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think that your choice to remain a virgin until marriage played a big role in you marrying a sexual dud. Remember all those guys you dated who quickly broke up over your no-sex policy? Well there is a reason for that. Normal guys with a normal sex drive do not / can not / would not "wait until marriage". And the guys who DO are (like you said) just not sexually motivated. In other words, you purposefully picked a dud and now question why he is a dud?

As a consolation, you have bragging rights that while all your lady friends are making excuses and running away from their horn-dog husbands, you can peacefully scroll DCUM in the nude.

Yes but she wants sex with her husband.

Anonymous wrote:I think that your choice to remain a virgin until marriage played a big role in you marrying a sexual dud. Remember all those guys you dated who quickly broke up over your no-sex policy? Well there is a reason for that. Normal guys with a normal sex drive do not / can not / would not "wait until marriage". And the guys who DO are (like you said) just not sexually motivated. In other words, you purposefully picked a dud and now question why he is a dud?

As a consolation, you have bragging rights that while all your lady friends are making excuses and running away from their horn-dog husbands, you can peacefully scroll DCUM in the nude.

Anonymous wrote:I think that your choice to remain a virgin until marriage played a big role in you marrying a sexual dud. Remember all those guys you dated who quickly broke up over your no-sex policy? Well there is a reason for that. Normal guys with a normal sex drive do not / can not / would not "wait until marriage". And the guys who DO are (like you said) just not sexually motivated. In other words, you purposefully picked a dud and now question why he is a dud?

As a consolation, you have bragging rights that while all your lady friends are making excuses and running away from their horn-dog husbands, you can peacefully scroll DCUM in the nude.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Does he have any other quirks or executive functions issues? Like total lack of empathy or real connection with anybody?

PP can you elaborate please? What should a lack of empathy or executive function issues have to do with closeted sexuality?

Anonymous wrote:Does he have any other quirks or executive functions issues? Like total lack of empathy or real connection with anybody?

Anonymous wrote:I think one potential tell is homophobic comments or attitudes, now or in the past. If somebody is attracted to the same sex but they think it’s wrong, they will often use homophobia as a defense mechanism. But it’s not a sure thing either way.