Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Age 25 and making $80k, no problem. Age 45? Problem.

This. When I was young and single, I cared about education and potential more than current income. Now I'm in my 40's and married with kids, but if I was ever single again then lack of high income/wealth would be a deal breaker. Once guys are in their late 30's+, they're typically either successful or they're not going to be.

I made good money, made great investments, and saved a lot. If I was ever single again, then I would only be interested in men who were doing really well financially. I would never consider financing a man's lifestyle because that money would be for me and my kids. Plus I wouldn't be attracted to the type of man who would accept a woman supporting him or a man who wasn't driven to be successful. I would never downgrade my lifestyle to meet a man where he is either. The man needs to be a high earner or have high net worth to keep up.

I don't get this...how would you be forced to downgrade your lifestyle with an average earner? You would not spend ANY of your own money with your new hypothetical partner for various couples activities, and instead rely on him to pay for EVERYTHING? Yuck.

Anonymous wrote:Why would any woman want to date someone with such a low income?

Potential? Good person? Love?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm early 50's, male, married, and about a 7.5/10 for looks and make about 110K.


This thread is definitely telling me I should stay in my somewhat unhappy marriage, or if I can't, to embrace being alone as a gift from God.

Come on. Statistically you are above average.

My wife considers me unambitious and below average in salary compared to other DC men (I make slightly more than her.) I definitely am a work to live rather than a live to work person. When we dated for two years, I think that was enough for her.

She does appreciate that I stay fit and was blessed with fairly good looks.

Anonymous wrote:I'm early 50's, male, married, and about a 7.5/10 for looks and make about 110K.


This thread is definitely telling me I should stay in my somewhat unhappy marriage, or if I can't, to embrace being alone as a gift from God.

Come on. Statistically you are above average.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Age 25 and making $80k, no problem. Age 45? Problem.

What if he does something admirable, and he does it well and it gives him a love for life that he wants to share with a special someone...like being a schoolteacher or social workerer, and that's just the normal salary for that career?

This is my husband. He makes well under 80k. Think of how your "average" marriage with a woman in one of these careers works: she is the "default parent," works fewer or more flexible hours, and does more child care, usually. It's the same.

I would not find a man in a super demanding career requiring lots of overtime but paying very little appealing. That's the job for a lot of tenure track professors though, as well as some creative types.

I'm early 50's, male, married, and about a 7.5/10 for looks and make about 110K.


This thread is definitely telling me I should stay in my somewhat unhappy marriage, or if I can't, to embrace being alone as a gift from God.

Anonymous wrote:Age 25 and making $80k, no problem. Age 45? Problem.

What if he does something admirable, and he does it well and it gives him a love for life that he wants to share with a special someone...like being a schoolteacher or social workerer, and that's just the normal salary for that career?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Age 25 and making $80k, no problem. Age 45? Problem.

This. When I was young and single, I cared about education and potential more than current income. Now I'm in my 40's and married with kids, but if I was ever single again then lack of high income/wealth would be a deal breaker. Once guys are in their late 30's+, they're typically either successful or they're not going to be.

I made good money, made great investments, and saved a lot. If I was ever single again, then I would only be interested in men who were doing really well financially. I would never consider financing a man's lifestyle because that money would be for me and my kids. Plus I wouldn't be attracted to the type of man who would accept a woman supporting him or a man who wasn't driven to be successful. I would never downgrade my lifestyle to meet a man where he is either. The man needs to be a high earner or have high net worth to keep up.

Keep up with whom, someone more interested in the guy's checkbook than the guy? No thanks.

PP here. You're presuming that it's either or, and it's not. I'm married, but if ever single then I would want both the guy and the wealth. This isn't meant to be offensive to those who don't meet the requirements. It's just the truth for single women I know who are in a certain wealth bracket. They don't date down financially. The women you're dating likely wouldn't date a guy making $50K either. It doesn't mean they don't like you personally and only want your $150K or whatever your income is, but you're fooling yourself if you think your income doesn't qualify you at a basic level.

Anonymous wrote:I'm so happy I found my wife in College. Dating was CHEAP! Probably saved myself a fortune. Most of my single guy friends in our 20s and 30s had to have a good income to keep many of their GFs around with constant eating out, entertainment, and travel. They guys I know that showed off their money had an easier time with the girls. Fancy car, apartment, etc. Didn't mean they made more, they just were more willing to spend all their money rather than save.

That's because the norm for dating in college was not spending a lot. It's very different for the single guys in their late 20's+ and can't take a date to a college bar for dollar drafts. For men who are newly divorced, dating in their 30's+ is going to be very different from when they were 21 and single. So if a divorced guy in his 40's makes $150K, that doesn't go very far to pay his mortgage on a place large enough for himself plus kids, pay for kids' upkeep, save for college, save for retirement, possibly pay child support, etc. and still have money left over for dating at an age when you have to spend more for dates.

So to answer the OP's question, yes, I think it's much harder for guys with an average income to date if they have kids. It's probably not as hard if they never married because they can just live in a 1BR condo and don't have to pay any kid-related expenses.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Age 25 and making $80k, no problem. Age 45? Problem.

This. When I was young and single, I cared about education and potential more than current income. Now I'm in my 40's and married with kids, but if I was ever single again then lack of high income/wealth would be a deal breaker. Once guys are in their late 30's+, they're typically either successful or they're not going to be.

I made good money, made great investments, and saved a lot. If I was ever single again, then I would only be interested in men who were doing really well financially. I would never consider financing a man's lifestyle because that money would be for me and my kids. Plus I wouldn't be attracted to the type of man who would accept a woman supporting him or a man who wasn't driven to be successful. I would never downgrade my lifestyle to meet a man where he is either. The man needs to be a high earner or have high net worth to keep up.

Keep up with whom, someone more interested in the guy's checkbook than the guy? No thanks.

Anonymous wrote:Age 25 and making $80k, no problem. Age 45? Problem.

This. When I was young and single, I cared about education and potential more than current income. Now I'm in my 40's and married with kids, but if I was ever single again then lack of high income/wealth would be a deal breaker. Once guys are in their late 30's+, they're typically either successful or they're not going to be.

I made good money, made great investments, and saved a lot. If I was ever single again, then I would only be interested in men who were doing really well financially. I would never consider financing a man's lifestyle because that money would be for me and my kids. Plus I wouldn't be attracted to the type of man who would accept a woman supporting him or a man who wasn't driven to be successful. I would never downgrade my lifestyle to meet a man where he is either. The man needs to be a high earner or have high net worth to keep up.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DC women expect so much but are notoriously known for not being attractive. DC has the least attractive women.

The pretty ones moved to Miami to be models.

We all know how the Instagram “models” really earn their income. And it’s not just by selling Fit Tea.

My husband was making 50k when we met in our mid twenties. Didn’t matter to me and I was already a homeowner. I outearned him until our late 30s.

I'm so happy I found my wife in College. Dating was CHEAP! Probably saved myself a fortune. Most of my single guy friends in our 20s and 30s had to have a good income to keep many of their GFs around with constant eating out, entertainment, and travel. They guys I know that showed off their money had an easier time with the girls. Fancy car, apartment, etc. Didn't mean they made more, they just were more willing to spend all their money rather than save.

Anonymous wrote:DC women expect so much but are notoriously known for not being attractive. DC has the least attractive women.

The pretty ones moved to Miami to be models.