Anonymous
Post 12/26/2020 12:35     Subject: Same Age Cousins
In time none of this will matter. This is what is best for your niece at this time.
Anonymous
Post 12/26/2020 12:30     Subject: Same Age Cousins
OP here. I worded all of this terribly, understanding now how it’s coming off. Points have been made and are noted. Thank you.
Anonymous
Post 12/26/2020 12:28     Subject: Same Age Cousins
Anonymous wrote:I know I’m probably being silly for this but... My sister and I each had a daughter two weeks apart (not planned). We were both so excited for them to go through all the milestones together, be close, grow up together, etc. They are both summer birthdays (our cutoff is 8/31) and both opted to start them in kindergarten this year (different schools, but both in person private because of Covid and work needs).

My DD has been thriving in kindergarten, even more than we’d hoped. Her teachers confirmed we made the right decision sending her (and her private K is very academically rigorous). Her daughter is not as “advanced” (put in quotes because I don’t take kindergarten that seriously) as mine in terms of reading and math, but I can definitely tell she’s bright. She is a bit emotionally immature, but nothing concerning. I guess she scored slightly below average on an assessment test. Now my sister wants to have her repeat kindergarten. I’m just mourning a little bit that now they won’t be going through a lot of the milestones at the same time, which would’ve been so special to them.

I’m out of line for feeling this way, correct? I know it’s not appropriate to try to talk her out of her decision... she’s not my child, but I feel pretty strongly against having a child repeat a grade (especially kindergarten when they are developing so rapidly).


Your feelings are about your own disappointment, not any concern for your niece. It is okay to be disappointed by the way. Your sister probably is too. Lots of kids repeat kindergarten, especially if they have a summer birthday.
Anonymous
Post 12/26/2020 12:22     Subject: Re:Same Age Cousins
These cousins can still be close. They are near each other in age so some milestones will still happen at the same time once they leave school.
Anonymous
Post 12/26/2020 12:21     Subject: Same Age Cousins
I love when there's consensus on dcum. Op, take a good look at yourself and how you come across.
Anonymous
Post 12/26/2020 12:20     Subject: Same Age Cousins
My best friends growing up were all a grade ahead of me. Who cares....??????
Anonymous
Post 12/26/2020 12:08     Subject: Same Age Cousins
Anonymous wrote:It's better for her daughter to repeat K. You sound so judgemental and competitive that you would probably make it miserable for them always comparing their "milestones". This is a blessing for your niece. Ugh your post is so off putting


+1,000
Anonymous
Post 12/26/2020 12:04     Subject: Same Age Cousins
OP sounds like a young mom and isn’t a familiar with the term red shirting. Welcome to DCUM land! Maybe it’s the pandemic, maybe it’s the summer birthday or maybe the teacher suggested another year to beef up her confidence. Your job is to support your sister, in whatever she decides. I am sure this decision was hard for her, but no one ever regrets holding their child back.
Anonymous
Post 12/26/2020 10:13     Subject: Same Age Cousins
I think the best way to convince your sister not to hold back her daughter is to not talk about academics. Of course your sister would feel bad that your daughter is doing better than hers. She’s seeing 12 years of comparison in the future and now is the only time to reverse it.
In fact, I would not bring up her decision to redshirt or try to convince her otherwise. It would just backfire.
Anonymous
Post 12/26/2020 10:12     Subject: Same Age Cousins
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:My best friend growing up repeated Kindergarten. She now leads a global, multi-million project on food security for NASA. She won a NASA early career prize. But yeah, I think I could write my letters better than she could in 1986.

Grow up, OP.


This made me laugh out loud. This is a perfect perspective for OP


For the love... I never said it was a bad thing.


We all see through it. And if you are too dense to see how your posts come off, then I don't know what to tell you.
Anonymous
Post 12/26/2020 10:10     Subject: Same Age Cousins
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:My daughter and my niece are only a few months apart but they are in different grades because they fell on opposite sides of the school start date. They are the best of friends and share so much in common. So they won’t go to prom or graduation at the same time, who cares. What matters is they are in high school now and with no prompting from parents were on FaceTime for over and hour yesterday laughing themselves silly.

Anyway you shouldn’t put so much pressure on the relationship. They could end up having very different personalities and interests and have little in common even if in the same grade. Support your sister and what is best for her family and the rest will take care of itself.


Thanks, I think this is what I needed to hear! I think if we’d started in different grades, it would’ve been easier. We both struggled a lot with whether we should start them (and then throw covid in there). I just want them to stay close growing up!


Nope, too late. You already revealed how much you compare and compete.
Anonymous
Post 12/26/2020 10:06     Subject: Same Age Cousins
Are you really that dumb and self absorbed that you can't see that posters are right about how you come across?
Anonymous
Post 12/26/2020 10:05     Subject: Same Age Cousins
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:My best friend growing up repeated Kindergarten. She now leads a global, multi-million project on food security for NASA. She won a NASA early career prize. But yeah, I think I could write my letters better than she could in 1986.

Grow up, OP.


This made me laugh out loud. This is a perfect perspective for OP


For the love... I never said it was a bad thing.


You called her kid “average.” OP, get a grip and stop trying to control your sister and your niece.
Anonymous
Post 12/26/2020 10:04     Subject: Re:Same Age Cousins
I wonder if part of the reason your sister is holding her DD back is to let her make some new friends who aren’t her cousin.
Anonymous
Post 12/26/2020 10:04     Subject: Same Age Cousins
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:My best friend growing up repeated Kindergarten. She now leads a global, multi-million project on food security for NASA. She won a NASA early career prize. But yeah, I think I could write my letters better than she could in 1986.

Grow up, OP.


This made me laugh out loud. This is a perfect perspective for OP


For the love... I never said it was a bad thing.