OP, no one wants to be woken up. It's very jarring. Don't do that again.

Your sex frequency is pretty unusual for your ages. maybe you are a mismatch.

OP here. I am fit, petite and always horny. At this point I am tempted to just have an affair.

Your DH is an idiot.

This IS odd.

A man turning down sex.....??!

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, yeah, I get it. My DH has turned down sex once and that hurt me. But your DH was rude. It is unusual for men to turn down a naked woman. But, he could have been tired. Exhausted. When was the last time you had sex? Have you turned him down a lot? Is he seeing anybody else? Emotional affair?

OP here. Well, to be fair he had a very long busy work day yesterday and was writing for his work late into the night. So I believe he was exhausted. I just woke up horny and thought a quicky and going back to sleep would be fun for him. But alas! Not only was I turned down but so cruelly.

OP you need to use your brain a little more in these interactions. DH would have hollered too; so would I; no one wants to be woken up. And he stayed up late too! And you knew it!

Your life isn’t a soap opera show where people leap up to have sex at every opportunity. Now you know he’s not a morning sex kind of guy so don’t do it again.

+1

I don't think he was rude until you kept pushing and pushing. He said he was sleepy (and you knew he had been up late and was probably really tired), you kept pushing, he said stop, you kept pushing . . . not cool. Swap the genders and tell me people wouldn't be screaming that he was in the wrong.

OP here. What do you do if you want sex and your spouse always turns you down?

do what men have to do - go to a quiet place in the house/apartment and rub one out. Stop being such a prissy little b*tch. you pushed him too far and despite him clearly communicating to you, you ignored him.

imagine him trying to come on to you when you're exhausted and you just want to sleep. you tell him know several times and he doesn't listen. what would your reaction be? you'd lash out too and saying anything different is just a lie, and you know it.

Anonymous wrote:Does he often turn you down for sex?
I will say it's unusual in my experience. Most guys wake up with wood and would take you up on that.

This is the weird part. MOST men wake up in the mood. This had been my experience with my past partners and I love morning sex. My DH is one of the few men that dislikes morning anything. He doesn’t even really talk before he has coffee. It took me some time to get used to it, but I’ve come to accept that he’s not a morning person. Early in our relationship I initiated in the morning and he literally pushed me off him. That sent the message loud and clear that morning sex was not happening. People are entitled to their boundaries and I think as partners we respect those boundaries. If your DH isn’t in the mood, don’t push him. It’s likely not personal.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:1) He wasn't in the mood and you should have respected that.

2) if you're having sex once a month in your early 30s (and no kids?) then that's a whole different issue. But demanding and pouting is not the answer. Talk to him, see a doctor, etc. Has it changed since marriage? or was he always low drive?

I've been with my husband for 5 years so I know when he is most horny and what is normal behavior for him.He always woke up horny and we would hook up in the mornings. He wasn't a super high drive but he would at least wake up horny every morning and would hardly ever turn me down.

That all changed after he started cheating on me for 6 months last year. He stopped having sex with me during the affair and we have since tried to reconcile and he has never been in the mood. In the mean time the pandemic happened and we quarantined together. Then his mother had surgery for cancer so there was stress about that for a few months. He himself also has had a major health diagnosis this year and is adjusting to that.There's been a lot going on and I am sure the affair is over. Apparently his AP was obviously better than me.

Is this OP? Are there children involved in this? Because if not I would consider tossing this marriage.

Anonymous wrote:1) He wasn't in the mood and you should have respected that.

2) if you're having sex once a month in your early 30s (and no kids?) then that's a whole different issue. But demanding and pouting is not the answer. Talk to him, see a doctor, etc. Has it changed since marriage? or was he always low drive?

+1
It seems what really hurt you is that he's not into sex generally. It is not unreasonable that he didn't want sex when he was tired, but if you aren't having sex regularly, then THAT is not normal.
I'd drain my emotion, then talk to him about seeing a doctor or psychiatrist (is porn the problem?).
And you are young. So tell him it's not acceptable to you to not have a decently active sex life.

Anonymous wrote:1) He wasn't in the mood and you should have respected that.

2) if you're having sex once a month in your early 30s (and no kids?) then that's a whole different issue. But demanding and pouting is not the answer. Talk to him, see a doctor, etc. Has it changed since marriage? or was he always low drive?

I've been with my husband for 5 years so I know when he is most horny and what is normal behavior for him.He always woke up horny and we would hook up in the mornings. He wasn't a super high drive but he would at least wake up horny every morning and would hardly ever turn me down.

That all changed after he started cheating on me for 6 months last year. He stopped having sex with me during the affair and we have since tried to reconcile and he has never been in the mood. In the mean time the pandemic happened and we quarantined together. Then his mother had surgery for cancer so there was stress about that for a few months. He himself also has had a major health diagnosis this year and is adjusting to that.There's been a lot going on and I am sure the affair is over. Apparently his AP was obviously better than me.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, yeah, I get it. My DH has turned down sex once and that hurt me. But your DH was rude. It is unusual for men to turn down a naked woman. But, he could have been tired. Exhausted. When was the last time you had sex? Have you turned him down a lot? Is he seeing anybody else? Emotional affair?

OP here. Well, to be fair he had a very long busy work day yesterday and was writing for his work late into the night. So I believe he was exhausted. I just woke up horny and thought a quicky and going back to sleep would be fun for him. But alas! Not only was I turned down but so cruelly.

OP you need to use your brain a little more in these interactions. DH would have hollered too; so would I; no one wants to be woken up. And he stayed up late too! And you knew it!

Your life isn’t a soap opera show where people leap up to have sex at every opportunity. Now you know he’s not a morning sex kind of guy so don’t do it again.

+1

I don't think he was rude until you kept pushing and pushing. He said he was sleepy (and you knew he had been up late and was probably really tired), you kept pushing, he said stop, you kept pushing . . . not cool. Swap the genders and tell me people wouldn't be screaming that he was in the wrong.

OP here. What do you do if you want sex and your spouse always turns you down?

OP I am the first pp responding to you and actually I am precisely in your situation. I am a high libido wife and DH won’t do it if he is tired or grumpy or hungry or the moon is in its first phase. When we were younger and had fewer responsibilities we had sex a lot more often but now we are both sort of busy and tired and that’s it. There is nothing wrong with him and there is nothing wrong with me. Have you talked it out with DH? Have you told him how much you miss him? Was he always like this?

If this is a problem you need to find another way to solve it but you don’t need to treat it as a major crisis because sexual desire discrepancy is common in adults. It’s not such a huge deal unless there is an underlying health condition.

OP I feel like you are a troll because this is a ridiculous post.

In the actual interaction here, you were the jerk. No means no, this is a basic concept. With your spouse sure you can push a little but at the end of the day no means no.

But you are only having sex once a month and like, you seem coyly mad about it. Not REALLY mad, just like, pouty and wanting to enjoy complaining about it. Because your story is about how your husband didn't indulge your tantrum, not about how you are never having sex.

You sounds like you have a terrible marriage and if this is a real post you should seek therapy or divorce. Things that are not normal in your post

1) Your husband yelling at you like that while you cried
2) You demanding sex despite a clear refusal
3) You guys not having sex with each other more than once a month despite being early 30s
4) You reacting to him not being in the mood (at a time when it is perfectly reasonable to not be in the mood) by crying and breaking down
5) You seeming to not have any idea how to discuss all of the above with him

You clearly both have a LOT of underlying resentment here. Try to work on your serious deep seeded relationship and communication issues and the sex will probably work itself out.

1) He wasn't in the mood and you should have respected that.

2) if you're having sex once a month in your early 30s (and no kids?) then that's a whole different issue. But demanding and pouting is not the answer. Talk to him, see a doctor, etc. Has it changed since marriage? or was he always low drive?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, yeah, I get it. My DH has turned down sex once and that hurt me. But your DH was rude. It is unusual for men to turn down a naked woman. But, he could have been tired. Exhausted. When was the last time you had sex? Have you turned him down a lot? Is he seeing anybody else? Emotional affair?

OP here. Well, to be fair he had a very long busy work day yesterday and was writing for his work late into the night. So I believe he was exhausted. I just woke up horny and thought a quicky and going back to sleep would be fun for him. But alas! Not only was I turned down but so cruelly.

OP you need to use your brain a little more in these interactions. DH would have hollered too; so would I; no one wants to be woken up. And he stayed up late too! And you knew it!

Your life isn’t a soap opera show where people leap up to have sex at every opportunity. Now you know he’s not a morning sex kind of guy so don’t do it again.

+1

I don't think he was rude until you kept pushing and pushing. He said he was sleepy (and you knew he had been up late and was probably really tired), you kept pushing, he said stop, you kept pushing . . . not cool. Swap the genders and tell me people wouldn't be screaming that he was in the wrong.

OP here. What do you do if you want sex and your spouse always turns you down?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, yeah, I get it. My DH has turned down sex once and that hurt me. But your DH was rude. It is unusual for men to turn down a naked woman. But, he could have been tired. Exhausted. When was the last time you had sex? Have you turned him down a lot? Is he seeing anybody else? Emotional affair?

OP here. Well, to be fair he had a very long busy work day yesterday and was writing for his work late into the night. So I believe he was exhausted. I just woke up horny and thought a quicky and going back to sleep would be fun for him. But alas! Not only was I turned down but so cruelly.

OP you need to use your brain a little more in these interactions. DH would have hollered too; so would I; no one wants to be woken up. And he stayed up late too! And you knew it!

Your life isn’t a soap opera show where people leap up to have sex at every opportunity. Now you know he’s not a morning sex kind of guy so don’t do it again.

+1

I don't think he was rude until you kept pushing and pushing. He said he was sleepy (and you knew he had been up late and was probably really tired), you kept pushing, he said stop, you kept pushing . . . not cool. Swap the genders and tell me people wouldn't be screaming that he was in the wrong.

Anonymous wrote:Does he often turn you down for sex?
I will say it's unusual in my experience. Most guys wake up with wood and would take you up on that.

+1.