Mine don’t for the holidays but they don’t give my husband gifts either- we just donate to charities in each other’s names. My in laws do usually get us a gift card for our anniversary and get me a gift for my birthday though (something like a book)

Christmas yes, birthday no

Anonymous wrote:Ha, my parents in an effort to over compensate give DH awesome thoughtful gifts and I get “useful” “house” gifts. For example, they are thrilled to buy him expensive bar ware or specialty tool. Me? I get a slotted spoon and dish towels.

I'm sorry PP!
Your post made me laugh. What are they overcompensating for?

Yes, my ILs have always given me gifts, equal to what they give my spouse and his siblings, and my parents do the same for my husband. It surprised me somehow at first, but now it seems so obvious that of course our parents would treat our spouses like their own children and I think I was kind of a jackass for thinking it would be otherwise.

I buy my son’s longtime girlfriend a gift for Christmas and her birthday. It looks like he will be marrying her so I will be buying her gifts for a long time to come.

Anonymous wrote:Yes, but they ignore who I am completely and get me what they like. Like Vera Bradley-type bags or dark chocolates even though they know I only like milk chocolate. They even got me nuts when they know I am allergic. I wish they would get me nothing rather than the chore of donating or giving it away via a Facebook swap group.

This. But this year they ignored my birthday because it was apparently my fault our family wouldn’t get on a cross country flight to visit them during a pandemic. And now my MIL has announced no more gifts, which I’ve been begging for for years, so that’s cool. Of course, she announced this after we already sent them their birthday and Christmas gifts for this year. But my FIL does not agree, so he will still be getting my husband a gift. I was never included in that weird exchange where his parents (married still) each sent him a gift, separately, but the kids and I got a joint gift from them. It’s unclear if the no gifts edict extends to our children as well (young kids- elementary age).

Ha, my parents in an effort to over compensate give DH awesome thoughtful gifts and I get “useful” “house” gifts. For example, they are thrilled to buy him expensive bar ware or specialty tool. Me? I get a slotted spoon and dish towels.

Anonymous wrote:
No, they give me so much more: a welcoming, rational and accepting second family. My BIL went so far as to give us money and a temporary home when my husband was out of work and we had to move. They don't care at all about birthdays or Christmas, and that's fine, because they are helpful *when it matters most*.

Your soon to be ex is terribly immature.

Were you paying attention to the original post?
evidently the parents do Christmas gifts , just not to the son in law.
and holidays and give gifts for those occasions but they give them only to their daughter and not the son-in-law. That’s rude AF.

Anonymous wrote:Had an argument with my soon to be ex, he told me in all the years we were together all parents ever do is get him a “stupid” Christmas card for Christmas. No birthday gifts, no Christmas gifts, etc. He thinks it’s messed up because his mom always gets me something for Christmas and my birthday and my parents should’ve shown him the same respect. Honestly, his mom has probably done that once or twice for me, but it wasn’t a big deal to me. I’m just curious if others get gifts from their in-laws.

Yes
And my folks always get my husband a Christmas gift and stocking stuffers.
How rude is it for parents to give a gift to just one person in a couple when you’re talking about a holiday gift that’s just rude.

Yes, my MIL sends me a check for my birthday and for Christmas. It's very sweet and thoughtful of her. I wouldn't be upset, however, if she didn't. She's a good one and I'm lucky to have her.

My parents are crazy gift givers but oddly never give my husband alone a gift-or another other adult in-law. So say I get a sweater for Christmas he doesn’t receive anything but another year my parents might give us something we’d both use, like a fancy blender or patio stuff. Multiple gifts for my kids, grandkids-even pets!! They do same for all my (many!!) siblings except my one sister (no kids) who knowing her probably asked them give gifts to her husband. My DH truly neither notices or cares but I wonder about my brothers’ wives. On the other hand-my ILs are modest gift givers (think useful things that we’d probably buy ourselves without thinking) but always do a dinner out for my birthday and send a card to me.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I do think it's rude to send gifts to the daughter, her kids, but not the son-in-law. The fact your gift to them is from "the family" is irrelevant to that. If it's from the entire family then it's an unreturned gift every year, basically.

But whatever, I'm sure your parents' rudeness is not why you're divorcing.

His complaint is that he only gets a Christmas card. I get a card too so it’s not like they’re only getting me and the kids something. My parents haven’t given me a Christmas gift since I graduated high school so that’s why it’s not really a big deal to me.

Oh. Then he's crazy.

Agree.

Yes, but they ignore who I am completely and get me what they like. Like Vera Bradley-type bags or dark chocolates even though they know I only like milk chocolate. They even got me nuts when they know I am allergic. I wish they would get me nothing rather than the chore of donating or giving it away via a Facebook swap group.

Yes, my parents buy gifts for my spouse, and his parents buy gifts for me.

Yes, my current in-laws buy more for me and my daughter than their son. My former in-laws still give me gifts.