Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m in my early 50’s now, but if I could go back in time to my early 40’s, I would make darn sure that my parents had a plan for healthcare as they aged - and that I wasn’t the only part of their “plan”.

I would help them downsize, decide where they would live if they needed more care, set up healthcare directives and estate planning. When they are in crisis is too late.

The older you are, the harder it is to cope with all the demands of caregiving. If you think it might be in your future, take steps now that will help make it easier.

It’s interesting that you think your parents would have went along with that. Parents who are terrible planners are rarely complaint, in my experience and observation.

+1

Anonymous wrote:I read the earlier comments - it's interesting it's less about "lessons" about life and more about HOW TO STAY FIT FIT FIT FIT FIT FIT SINCE WOMEN ARE THE SOCIAL SAFETY NET OF AMERICA

I agree with the fitness comments however I don't think it's anything to do with women and the social safety net. I watched by in-laws not take care of themselves and spend their 70's at one doctors appointment after another, a ton of medications, in and out of hospital. My parents on the other hand who did eat well and exercised were still travelling in their 70's, no medication and running around with no concerns. Of course other things may come up but it is about health for your own well being and comfort in the older years. Almost everyone on this thread has said how important it is because it impacts how you feel on a day to day basis.

As for lessons - not caring what other people think or their opinion of me. I spent my younger years taking in those jabs and insults that people throw around and getting hurt. As you get older I now choose to spend time with people that don't do that, who are positive and I leave them feeling warm and good. Even family members who insult with the "but I was just concerned" nope, I have distanced from those types of people and my life has become so much more peaceful. If someone is insulting I can leave it with them, other people's opinions are just that, their opinion.

A lot of good advice! Breast cancer dx and treatment knocked me down and out in my 40's. I'm scared to think where I'd be if I wasn't in great shape, physically and financially. I'm often low energy now and don't sleep as well, but I'm eating to survive, excerising every day, and maintain a positive outlook.

Anonymous wrote:I read the earlier comments - it's interesting it's less about "lessons" about life and more about HOW TO STAY FIT FIT FIT FIT FIT FIT SINCE WOMEN ARE THE SOCIAL SAFETY NET OF AMERICA

I’m turning 50 in 3 weeks and can assure you my quality of life would be 100x better if I hadn’t abandoned the gym in my early 40s.

Your 40s is the time to maintain and improve your physical health. Lift weights, do cardio, and do all the routine doctors’ appointments and exams. You’ll be so glad when you did when you turn 50.

Anonymous wrote:I’m in my early 50’s now, but if I could go back in time to my early 40’s, I would make darn sure that my parents had a plan for healthcare as they aged - and that I wasn’t the only part of their “plan”.

I would help them downsize, decide where they would live if they needed more care, set up healthcare directives and estate planning. When they are in crisis is too late.

The older you are, the harder it is to cope with all the demands of caregiving. If you think it might be in your future, take steps now that will help make it easier.

It’s interesting that you think your parents would have went along with that. Parents who are terrible planners are rarely complaint, in my experience and observation.

I’m in my early 50’s now, but if I could go back in time to my early 40’s, I would make darn sure that my parents had a plan for healthcare as they aged - and that I wasn’t the only part of their “plan”.

I would help them downsize, decide where they would live if they needed more care, set up healthcare directives and estate planning. When they are in crisis is too late.

The older you are, the harder it is to cope with all the demands of caregiving. If you think it might be in your future, take steps now that will help make it easier.

Anonymous wrote:I read the earlier comments - it's interesting it's less about "lessons" about life and more about HOW TO STAY FIT FIT FIT FIT FIT FIT SINCE WOMEN ARE THE SOCIAL SAFETY NET OF AMERICA

No lies told here about the underlying motivation for the advice.

Do what you can to stay healthy so that when you have a spell where you are not a caregiver, you can enjoy yourself. And for crying out loud, enjoy yourself. However much time you think you have? Cut it in half.

Just turned 50.

Choose your kids’ school carefully. I fully credit the middle school and high school we picked with helping to form a teen who is largely pleasant to be around.

Maintain your own relationships. I have close colleagues at work and friends from many different parts of my life.

Exercise. Definitely my weakest link and has caused me lots of problems that I am now working to correct.

Take up a new sport - see fitness and making friends above.

Go to the doctor. Finding something bad early can really help make it not so bad.

Boundaries. We have been doing a lot of elder care for the past too many years. Once I knew we were in it for the long haul, I drew firm boundaries for our nuclear family. We went on vacation despite our relative’s protestations. The other side of the family can be overwhelming so I draw boundaries with them too.

Thank you OP for starting this thread. I have made much healthier choices after reading the responses.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's great to take care of health - and I work out six or seven days a week. But I have afib that started at 61 and it has thrown my life into turmoil.

You could be Jack LaLanne and things still happen.

I'm sorry PP. My husband got afib in his early 50s. He's always been athletic and healthy, the most fit of his entire family. Afib really reduced his quality of life drastically b/c of its impact on his sleep. It was painful watching him suffering so much. The saving grace is that after a failed ablation, he researched extensively and found Dr. Natale at Texas Cardiac Arrhythmia Institute, whose surgery saved him.

I'm the PP. I have heard mixed things about ablation, including one person who had one and the issue came back. Seems like a spotty success reocrd. So what surgery did Dr. Natale perform? Just looked her up. Also, my afib is not constant, maybe 50% of the time and I do not notice it except in situations like climbing stairs w/laundry.

H got another ablation from Dr. Natale (he), who's probably the best in the country when it comes to ablations. In H's case, it was pretty extreme and not well controlled by medication. It got to a point where lying down would trigger an episode. So in his case we felt there's no alternative but to seek the surgery. It might not be the best solution for all afib sufferers.

Raising teens can be tough for some. I ended up seeing a therapist due to issues with one of my children and it was really helpful to have a sounding board- I mention this because on top of taking care of your physical health, make sure you have good ways to relieve stress when needed. I only saw therapist 6 times, but it was helpful and in the end she had me take up a new hobby which has been really good for me.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's great to take care of health - and I work out six or seven days a week. But I have afib that started at 61 and it has thrown my life into turmoil.

You could be Jack LaLanne and things still happen.

I'm sorry PP. My husband got afib in his early 50s. He's always been athletic and healthy, the most fit of his entire family. Afib really reduced his quality of life drastically b/c of its impact on his sleep. It was painful watching him suffering so much. The saving grace is that after a failed ablation, he researched extensively and found Dr. Natale at Texas Cardiac Arrhythmia Institute, whose surgery saved him.

I'm the PP. I have heard mixed things about ablation, including one person who had one and the issue came back. Seems like a spotty success reocrd. So what surgery did Dr. Natale perform? Just looked her up. Also, my afib is not constant, maybe 50% of the time and I do not notice it except in situations like climbing stairs w/laundry.

Anonymous wrote:It's great to take care of health - and I work out six or seven days a week. But I have afib that started at 61 and it has thrown my life into turmoil.

You could be Jack LaLanne and things still happen.

I'm sorry PP. My husband got afib in his early 50s. He's always been athletic and healthy, the most fit of his entire family. Afib really reduced his quality of life drastically b/c of its impact on his sleep. It was painful watching him suffering so much. The saving grace is that after a failed ablation, he researched extensively and found Dr. Natale at Texas Cardiac Arrhythmia Institute, whose surgery saved him.

Don’t spend too much time or money keeping up with the Jones’s in terms of kids’ activities. Less is more. Enjoy these years before the full on snark of teens/young adult kids who think you are an idiot!