Anonymous
Post 12/17/2020 22:56     Subject: Help me... Husband thinks I only need less than a week of leave
Anonymous wrote:I could hardly walk up the stairs a week after giving birth, and you won’t be allowed to drive. Your boobs will be swollen beyond belief and they will be leaking milk like you cannot believe. You will be sweating uncontrollably and night and not sleeping for more than 1 hour at a time. Your husband needs to read a book about newborns.


Nope. I was at Tyson’s mall shopping for baby clothes 3 days after birth. I absolutely could not have left my baby or gone back to work though.

I leaked milk for over 9 months and it wasn’t an issue. I just was an overproducer and had to wear boob pads nonstop. Most of the other moms were done leaking by 2 months which surprised me.

Nannies or grandmas could watch babies, but it’s not a good idea. I haven’t known of any grandmas who came to help the mom after birth though, that’s usually the husbands role.
Anonymous
Post 12/17/2020 22:54     Subject: Help me... Husband thinks I only need less than a week of leave
Some of us aren't even out of the hospital by then.
Anonymous
Post 12/17/2020 22:52     Subject: Help me... Husband thinks I only need less than a week of leave
Does he have a very low IQ?
Anonymous
Post 12/17/2020 22:49     Subject: Help me... Husband thinks I only need less than a week of leave
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I could hardly walk up the stairs a week after giving birth, and you won’t be allowed to drive. Your boobs will be swollen beyond belief and they will be leaking milk like you cannot believe. You will be sweating uncontrollably and night and not sleeping for more than 1 hour at a time. Your husband needs to read a book about newborns.


None of this happened to me and at 5 days out I was physically back to normal. BUT. OP has no idea what experience she will have. Also, OP needs to just talk to her boss (and probably before Christmas or her marriage is gonna be worse for the wear).


DP here, all of this happened to me too. I had an "uncomplicated" (but very, very long) vaginal birth and my legs felt like jello for 3 weeks minimum. It was nearly a month before I trusted myself to drive a car. I also sweated uncontrollably at night. I know some people go back to week at 6 weeks postpartum but frankly I can't even process it. I was a complete mess.
Anonymous
Post 12/17/2020 22:23     Subject: Help me... Husband thinks I only need less than a week of leave
Anonymous wrote:I'm due on March and we are discussing leave. I don't yet qualify for fmla at my job because I've been here less than a year. Talking to my boss about it after the holidays and very real possibility I can't return if they don't approve leave. It is what it is and we'll be ok financially of that happens.

My husband legitimately thinks I will need less than a week of leave. I'm flabbergasted and very upset. Help. Please send all the help and links and resources about recovery time and postpartum.

I'm not willing to try and juggle a job at the expense of my firstborn daughter's first few months on this Earth.


Some women go back to work a week after giving birth.
Anonymous
Post 12/17/2020 20:51     Subject: Help me... Husband thinks I only need less than a week of leave
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I have my own small firm. I never hire woman of childbearing age. I do hire women, just older.


Wow, some real woman’s rights advocate you are.


And not very intelligent considering she is freely admitting to illegally discriminatory hiring practices
Anonymous
Post 12/17/2020 20:50     Subject: Help me... Husband thinks I only need less than a week of leave
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I honestly could have been okay physically, but I was nursing all night long and had trouble doing major things in life due to sleep deprivation (using knives, making left hand turns, remembering anything). Maybe your husband could formula feed all night long instead of you breastfeeding? I definitely bled for a good 6 weeks, but it was probably because I was at stroller strides at 3 weeks and just never rested.

It's just not doable without massive help and $$$.


who would take care of the new born? 12 weeks is very young for daycare. Nobody sends a 1 week old baby to daycare.


The youngest I've ever even heard of a daycare taking a baby is 6 weeks.


I'm guessing it was a home daycare.


Pediatrician here- I do lots of daycare forms for 6 week old babies. People forget that 6 weeks unpaid leave is all most (not HMC) women get and can afford to take.
Anonymous
Post 12/17/2020 20:19     Subject: Help me... Husband thinks I only need less than a week of leave
Anonymous wrote:I'm due on March and we are discussing leave. I don't yet qualify for fmla at my job because I've been here less than a year. Talking to my boss about it after the holidays and very real possibility I can't return if they don't approve leave. It is what it is and we'll be ok financially of that happens.

My husband legitimately thinks I will need less than a week of leave. I'm flabbergasted and very upset. Help. Please send all the help and links and resources about recovery time and postpartum.

I'm not willing to try and juggle a job at the expense of my firstborn daughter's first few months on this Earth.


why can't your DH take vacation time to be with the baby?
Anonymous
Post 12/17/2020 20:18     Subject: Help me... Husband thinks I only need less than a week of leave
Anonymous wrote:I have my own small firm. I never hire woman of childbearing age. I do hire women, just older.


Wow, some real woman’s rights advocate you are.
Anonymous
Post 12/17/2020 19:53     Subject: Re:Help me... Husband thinks I only need less than a week of leave
Anonymous wrote:You need to find a compromise to save your job. See if you qualify for unpaid leave under FMLA. Also CARES Act leave for families and caregivers should still be active but I don’t know what the rules are for activating.
OP’s post says they are not eligible for FMLA due to length of employment. The CARES Act follows FMLA eligibility and ends on the 31st.
Anonymous
Post 12/17/2020 19:52     Subject: Help me... Husband thinks I only need less than a week of leave
Anonymous wrote:My dd is 10, my wife took two months and still gets sad talking about how little leave she took. Take what you need, you don’t get a do over any you aren’t going to regret have more time with your baby


Yes. Well said. If you'll be ok financially, take the leave. Your husband is very ignorant about what you and your baby need post partum. Not only do you need to heal, your baby needs to bond with you.
Anonymous
Post 12/17/2020 19:03     Subject: Help me... Husband thinks I only need less than a week of leave
I'm 5 weeks postpartum. This is my 4th and super easy fast recovery. I could not move for 2 weeks. I formula fed.

2 weeks is the absolute minimum to be safe. If you move too much too early you will be high risk for hermmoragibg. Ask me how I know.
Anonymous
Post 12/17/2020 19:02     Subject: Help me... Husband thinks I only need less than a week of leave
Anonymous wrote:I could hardly walk up the stairs a week after giving birth, and you won’t be allowed to drive. Your boobs will be swollen beyond belief and they will be leaking milk like you cannot believe. You will be sweating uncontrollably and night and not sleeping for more than 1 hour at a time. Your husband needs to read a book about newborns.


None of this happened to me and at 5 days out I was physically back to normal. BUT. OP has no idea what experience she will have. Also, OP needs to just talk to her boss (and probably before Christmas or her marriage is gonna be worse for the wear).
Anonymous
Post 12/17/2020 18:52     Subject: Help me... Husband thinks I only need less than a week of leave
I could hardly walk up the stairs a week after giving birth, and you won’t be allowed to drive. Your boobs will be swollen beyond belief and they will be leaking milk like you cannot believe. You will be sweating uncontrollably and night and not sleeping for more than 1 hour at a time. Your husband needs to read a book about newborns.
Anonymous
Post 12/17/2020 18:34     Subject: Help me... Husband thinks I only need less than a week of leave
Anonymous wrote:This makes no sense. At minimum you will qualify for 6 weeks short term disability.


Yes both OP and her husband are tying themselves up in knots and getting upset with each other when they don't have the facts. Much chilling is in order.