Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
You need to stop opening up yourself to attacks, OP.
You end up feeding the conflict and drama.

Lay out clear boundaries and stick to them. Ignore ALL drama coming from them. Only respond factually and calmly.

A process I went through with an NPD:

NPD: misbehaves by phone.
Me: Does not answer phone.
NPD: misbehaves by text.
Me: blocks calls and text
NPD: Sends long emails.

The thing is, sometimes you might have to respond to an email, if it is coparenting or about a related kid.

NPD: Long ranting email.
Me: deciphers email, ignoring all insults, insinuations, etc, until I find an actual request/ demand that should be answered.

If no actual content: no response.
If yes: "Yes, I can take the child this weekend." "Yes, I will buy that for child." And nothing more.

But in OP's case, she can cut off and not look back.

Yes, but with some Npeople you end up with a stage 5 clinger. They HATE losing control (which is clearly what triggered the OPs mom). Look at the OPs mom. She even wants to control what NYC had put in place with lockdowns. That's bananas! What will happen is OP will put all the electronic blocks. Then this mom will show up on her front door step and I GUARANTEE it will be Christmas morning at 10am to create the biggest possible drama.

You have to keep it short and sweet and tell them very directly and without any compassion that it's over. You cannot give them a single inch of wiggle room to engage and gaslight.

OP actually mentioned the kids having phones and being able to speak to grandma. I'm not sure if I agree with that. This will be her "in" and she might start trying to manipulate the OP via communication with the kids.