Depends on the guy. But I also know people who meddle unnecessarily. My sister-in-law (we both married into the same family) kept trying to make us both basically the de facto social planners for our husbands. I refused. They've been brothers for decades longer than they've been married. They know how to keep in touch.

Some people are just busybodies or can't accept letting others have relationships on their own terms. Others let extended family guilt them for not being their husbands' social secretaries. I refuse to engage in that silliness.

Anonymous wrote:I do think society has a bias toward letting women take care of family relationships. For instance I know a lot of woken taking care of their older in-laws and women buying Christmas presents for in laws.

This isn’t the case in my personal life though. I’m the one who is bad at keeping in touch, mostly because I just don’t line me family (they’re kind of mean to me) and my husband is really good about keeping in touch with his.

I decided early never to take on the gift buying for husband’s family.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Males are pushed out of the house and told to get jobs/become self sufficient early in life. If something goes wrong, it is yours to deal with not your parents or other relatives. If you do well that is what is expected. So either way no reason to call and keep in touch.

Lets face it a 20 something man living at home/depending on their parents is thought of as a loser. A 20 something woman living at home/depending on their parents is not seen the same way.

Really??? In what world is a 20 something woman living at home not seen as a loser???

What world are you living in?

Wow you’re awfully defensive. Son in your basement? PP was articulating a social bias and you know it. Any young adult living with their parents can make an incredible amount of sense – they could be living in a very expensive city—gee, like the Washington metro area – and saving money for a house or a car. No reason for your nasty tone PP.

I have a friend who is a sahd. His DD gets excluded from many activities because women are organizing things. He thinks some do it on purpose and others just forget about him(and his DD) because he is a man. So the social bias plays a large roll in this.

Anonymous wrote:I'm going to say that I think it's natural. My DH is an awesome son and cares for his family a lot....but he doesn't like calling them. We visit and they get equal billing though. He doesn't care about making their traditional recipes- our holiday tables are basically all my family's favorites. I think men just grow up and follow their mom's lead. And then when they marry it's their wife's lead. We live very similarly to how I was raised, and not how he was (he was in a rural town and they don't like to vacation, etc). I'm not a domineering woman either, we have a very equal relationship.

family.

Odd. Is this just a natural thing for white Americans? Like a DNA thing? Because I'm Asian and it certainly is not natural in my community of billions.

What you are explaining is conditioning.

Anonymous wrote:Why is this often a woman's domain? Wiring? Society? What do you think?

Modeling. Women perpetuate inequality more than anyone else. I'm not American and was raised in a culture where men are expected to care for their family. Women are also close to our families. Heck we are just all close. To keep the family unit included is something we are taught from the day we are born.

American women seem to be very domineering on the home front and from my vantage point telling the to take a back seat. They become the gatekeepers of all family interactions. Its not surprising their kids do the same.

I feel sorry for American women who have all boys. Their only hope is their boys marry a nice woman who allows a relationship with his family..

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Males are pushed out of the house and told to get jobs/become self sufficient early in life. If something goes wrong, it is yours to deal with not your parents or other relatives. If you do well that is what is expected. So either way no reason to call and keep in touch.

Lets face it a 20 something man living at home/depending on their parents is thought of as a loser. A 20 something woman living at home/depending on their parents is not seen the same way.

Really??? In what world is a 20 something woman living at home not seen as a loser???

What world are you living in?

Wow you’re awfully defensive. Son in your basement? PP was articulating a social bias and you know it. Any young adult living with their parents can make an incredible amount of sense – they could be living in a very expensive city—gee, like the Washington metro area – and saving money for a house or a car. No reason for your nasty tone PP.